Dr. A and I celebrated Murica’s birthday by seeing The Lone Rangeron Independence Day. I have a weakness for westerns and was curious to see Johnny Depp pretending to be a pretend Indian. My expectations were low but I quite liked it, especially because of the dead crow on Depp’s head…
The movie has already been declared a flop after less than a week in theatres. I thought it was a decent popcorn movie, but the whole thing is out of balance: it’s Tonto’s tale. I barely remember the Lone Ranger other than the fact that the guy who plays him has a silly first name. Who the hell names a kid Armie? And why doesn’t it end with a y?
I remain gobsmacked that they even tried to revive this idea to begin with and compounded this unforced error by casting a white boy as Tonto. Heap big mistake, Kemosabe. Do I believe that someone in Johnny Depp’s family told him he was part Cherokee? Sure, why not? But lots of families stretch the truth to make their lineage sound grander or more interesting. I wish someone had committed an act of journalism and done some genealogical research to see if the Deppmeister’s story is true. Hell, we know that Obama and Cheney are distant relatives even if the former Veep doesn’t look like a Kenyan Mau-Mau Marxist.
In the end, the whole Depp as Tonto controversy doesn’t matter. There’s not going to be a sequel. Tonto flop, Kemosabe.