If the Cult of the Red Beanie is looking for a preposterously unconventional candidate for the papacy, I’m available. I may be a pro-choice, pro-gay marriage atheist who was never a Catholic but I did costume as a Cardinal on Mardi Gras day in 2007:
No, those are not nuns, they were the Krewe of Anna Nicole Smith, and if you insist on asking, I was not the daddy.
Btw, I’d like my smoke signal to be red: