I mentioned not long ago that I was watching a season of the Celebrity Apprentice on YouTube hoping to get some insights into what makes the Insult Comedian tick. All I’ve learned is that he likes yes men, ass kissers, brown nosers, and people who tell him how awesome he is. I learned more from an excerpt from magician Penn Jillete’s memoirs published by Salon back in 2012:

I wasn’t even going to say anything about Trump’s hair. I live in a glass house. I’ve always had ugly, out-of-style hair. Trump’s hair is a lot better than mine—but as I sat there for hours half listening to Donald carry on, it struck me exactly what his hair looked like. It looks like cotton candy made of piss.

There you have it, ladies and germs, Donald Trump’s elaborate combover resembles cotton candy made of piss. It has absolutely no nutritional value just like his crappy reality teevee show and his futile quest to become the first insult comedian elected President.

Here’s an appearance Penn and his hair made on The Last Word with Lawrence O’Donnell on July, 15:

Repeat after me: Donald Trump will NOT be the first Insult Comedian with hair that looks like cotton candy piss to be elected President.