In Non-Donald Trump News

From Album 5

Well OK, I’m lying a bit, because Trump’s sucking all the oxygen out of the room, but Jeb!’s fifty million dollar (and counting) face plant has to rank up with some of the all time epic fails…Connally, Gramm, Ghouliani …and despite the media swarming to Trump like moths to a bonfire (the biggest, classiest…yugest [sic] bonfire ever!) it’s also in good part a matter of Jeb! being, well, dull.

I dunno: maybe he thought he was projecting competence, or maybe this is simply a bad time to run for the Repug nomination as anything but a batshit-insane-raging-wingnut. Not that Jeb! isn’t, e.g., his bizarro stance on Syrian refugees and the truly ugly position he took towards Terry Schiavo are just a couple of things that come to mind — but in the battle to be THE geek (in the literal sense of the word) who most appeals to the base, Jeb! just doesn’t have it.

Hmmm…come to think of it, maybe he really did know all along who Chang was.

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