One of the most amusing things to observe since the Insult Comedian’s opponents bailed out are the contortions being performed by Republican politicians. It’s gotten harder to duck the “do you support Trump” question now that Congress is back in session. One of my favorite reactions comes from freshman Oklahoma Senator James Lankford:

“I’m saying I’m gonna back the nominee of the party, but I’ve been out of this race the entire time and will continue to stay out of the race,” said Sen. James Lankford (R-OK).

Lankford says he still has a lot of questions for Trump. When asked what he wanted to hear from him, Lankford simply said “policy positions.”

Which ones?

“Everything,” Lankford said as the elevator doors closed to reporters.

Lankford is not exactly ready for an updated edition of Profiles In Courage is he? He’s had months to come up with an answer to the question of whether or not he supports the nominee of his party who has a name: Donald J. Trump. And that was the best he could do? Besides, he comes from blood-red Oklahoma where the wind comes sweepin’ down the plain, and the wavin’ wheat sure smells sweet; yadda, yadda, yadda. End of Rodgers and Hammerstein reverie. I’m sure Curly McClain would be willing to speak the nominee’s name aloud, especially since Wolverine has played him on stage…

The fine folks at TPM have compiled a list of how GOP elected officials are responding to Lord Voldemort’s nomination; some of whom still will not say his name. There’s a long list of weasels who believe they’ll be smited if they admit to being smitten with Trump. I don’t actually think they’re smitten, I just couldn’t resist the pun. Anyway, many of the GOPers running away in terror from the nominee with no name are up for re-election in blue and/or swing states. I cannot imagine why…

I am known for my arcane, archaic, and other ar words (except argh, pirate jokes are overdone) pop culture references and it’s time for another one. One of my all-time teevee guilty pleasures was The Gong Show. It was a campy, trashy, tasteless, and downright hilarious parody of talent (talentless?) shows in a game show format. It’s also where I first saw this kooky chap:

The Prince of Puns? Never. The Sultan of Shtick? Maybe.

The Unknown Comic was the deliberately unfunny creation of a comedian named Murray Langston. He had to laugh at his own shtick because nobody else would. He was known for the paper bag on his head and his rambling, incoherent, and insulting style. Is this starting to sound familiar? I suspect there are more than a few GOPers who would like to put a paper bag on the Donald’s head. That would give them ample time to run away from the nominee with no name.

I am enjoying their discomfort. Better yet, watching them squirm gives me *another* nickname for the presumptive Republican nominee. Introducing the Caliph of Combovers, the Baron of Bluster; ladies and gentleman please give it up for the Unknown Insult Comic: