When I had Kick and returned to work people would see me on the street and ask, “Where the baby?”

It took everything in my body not to respond OH HOLY SHIT. THE BABY. WHERE IS SHE? DID I LEAVE HER IN STARBUCKS? BABY?! WHERE ARE YOOOOOOOOOOOOOU?! THANK GOD YOU NOTICED. IT MIGHT HAVE BEEN DAYS BEFORE I LOOKED FOR HER.

I once asked Mr. A if people asked him the same question when he went to the office. Then I asked the same question of all the awesome, fully involved, some-of-’em-stay-at-home dads that I know.

*crickets*

It is the year of our Lord Jesus Cracker Jack Christ 2016: 

Fox wasn’t having any of it. They dove in first for Hillary, reminding us that she also missed Chelsea’s first day of school. Well, Chelsea turned out ok. But nice job digging the claws in to the first presidential female candidate.

Then they reminded us that Chelsea just had her second daughter this past July. Aw, sweet, right? Nope. They actually said “no word on who was watching baby Charlotte (their second baby) while her parents and grandparents were “away.”

All together now, girls: FUUUUUUUUUUUCK YOU!

I’m sure it was really hard for Chelsea to miss her daughter’s first day of preschool. I’m also sure it would be really hard for Chelsea, her daughter, and all other women to have a president elected who does not think that women are people, and a vice president who thinks the same thing but uses better words about it.

You know, I don’t love shaming ambitious women in the public eye. Could Chelsea afford to be a stay-at-home mom? Probably, sure, and just because she could, she should? In shaming her these assholes are implying that every woman’s job is optional, “me time,” something to eat and pray and love about. I know every TV show about women presumes we are just in the workplace for the self-actualization and forming our own identity and shit, but some of us don’t work just to fulfill ourselves.

Some of us work because we have skills no one else has; you tell a female astronaut she should keep her feet on the ground, fucko, or a female neurosurgeon she should put her brain to work watching PBS.

Some of us work because our babies have a powerful need to EAT, sleep in a bed, under a roof, put shoes on in the morning. Some of us work because our husbands are in unstable industries, or have disabilities or illnesses, or want to stay at home with the kids, or whatever the hell. Some of us work because we’re supporting more than our husbands or our kids. Some of us work because we’d LOVE to stay home, and we can’t.

Some of us work because that’s what we do, that’s what human beings do, and the American economy don’t give a fuck we gave birth.

So crab about Chelsea missing a day her daughter won’t even remember, while Chelsea and her mom fight to make a country where more families have more choices about how they want to work and live. That’s not being “away” from the kids, and even if they were “away,” like on a beach somewhere, it would still be nobody’s fucking business but theirs.

A.