Okay, I’m done with it, Internet.
I’m done yelling at people for promoting their books or celebrating their anniversaries while the world burns.
I’m done telling people to speak up against the regime, against supremacy, against powerlessness, and then shitting on how they do it.
I’m done auditing the marches and critiquing the protests and I’m done judging us for taking a break.
I am done. There is a pool of water in my basement and Kick’s on a sleep strike and writer’s block, turns out, is just what happens when you look at your deadlines and your calendar and cannot FATHOM why you said yes so much. The entire world is on fucking fire and I can’t get angry at how you’re surviving anymore. I don’t have the energy.
Should we all be wearing suits and ties to the marches instead of pussy hats? Should we go to a different protest every night or all make one big protest or are protests over or I don’t give a fuck anymore. Should you post “me too” to identify sexual harassment or assault, or refuse to post “me too” because nobody deserves your story? I turned off Twitter on Friday because it seemed like something I could do and I’m not sorry. You shouldn’t be sorry, either, if you stuck around. Is there a right way to do this? I don’t care anymore. I only care that you are doing this.
None of us, none of us who are in this fight, should be sorry for how we’re fighting.
It’s redundant, anyway, to be constantly proclaiming this or that action is insufficient. All actions are insufficient. HAVE YOU SEEN THIS SHIT TODAY? (You don’t even have to know what shit I’m referring to; it’s a day ending in Y so there is some truly outrageous bullshit going down for somebody.) Nothing any of us can do is enough, nor will it ever be enough.
I heard all this bellyaching and bitching in Wisconsin after Act 10, that the protests backfired, that truckers should have gone on strike, that a recall was a bad idea, that fighting for public unions was dumb, that people should have done this that or the other thing and all any of that Wednesday Morning Campaign Managing did was piss off people who put their goddamn bodies on the line. We can argue strategy just like we do after every single loss but can we please stop the carping and the throwing ourselves on the ground all THIS IS BETTER THAN A PROTEST? There’s never gonna be a perfect way to do this.
I went out Saturday night in the torrential rain to listen to music in a tiny dark bar with about 50 other people, every last one yelling along with the last line of this song:
Most of the time I am just breathless with admiration at anyone who can be that alive, right now especially.
You should dance if that’s how you fight back. You should sing if that’s how you fight back. You should march if that’s how you fight back. You should write if that’s how you fight back. You should get up every day and go to work and try to be a decent human being if that’s how you fight back, and you should be angry and joyous and celebratory and mournful. You should check out occasionally. You should never check out. You should feel yourself a part of the life in this godforsaken place whether you’re shouting from the rooftops or whispering in the dark. You should sing to your gods with whatever voice you have. You should use your silences to speak. You should never be silent.
The only thing that’s enough is if everybody is enough. I’m done being angry with people for being alive in this, however they have to be alive. Know that nothing is wasted. Know you’re enough.
A.
I try to make it my habit not the let the political world upset me too much these days. Take part in a protest? Call a congressperson or senator? You bet. I’m down for participation and fighting back. I’ll march. It’s the daily anxiety sandwich that I can’t stomach. Because if you let it, that’s what it is – daily. Who can sustain it? And maybe that’s exactly why 45 tries to induce it relentlessly – to get us to tune out and not pay attention.
Yet, once in awhile, something comes along that prompts a response. The way to get through this nonstop insanity is to pick your battles. Pick them, not withdraw from them altogether. Trump’s lies about how well things were going and how magnificent he thought he was in helping Puerto Rico was beyond all decency. His mocking of how to even pronounce the words “Puerto Rico” (yes, mocking is the word for what he did) was just unfathomable.
His entire presidency – a word I even have trouble typing in reference to this humanoid – seems to stand for nothing but self-congratulation and a “to do list” type dismantling of every single accomplishment and presidential act of Barack Obama. Obama led with grace and dignity and treated every person he met, from Kings and Queens to the poorest of the poor, with the same level of respect. Whether you agreed with his actions and decisions, he made every single one of them with the motivation of making life better for every American.
Trump’s behavior, his lies, his attempts to reverse and remove everything Obama did are nothing short of disgusting and wholly unamerican. Trump’s sole motivation is himself. That’s it. He can not make a speech or comment without praising himself and putting others down. Those who think that he cares about any of us are just fooling themselves. How ANYONE can support this horror of a human being is beyond my comprehension.