The Cheaper The Crook, The Gaudier The Patter

Thus spake Sam Spade in The Maltese Falcon to the Fat Man’s gunsel Wilmer. Crime fiction buffs out there will recall that Wilmer was the patsy in that classic novel and movie.

I thought of Spade’s put down of Wilmer upon the release of one of what the media insists on calling THE COHEN TAPES. While I dig the way it evokes Watergate, we’re talking digital recordings, not tapes. It’s starting to bug the shit out of me so I thought I’d go on the record and I’m not talking 33’s or 45’s either.

The crook may be cheap and his patter *is* gaudy but there are NO tapes. Repeat after me: THE COHEN RECORDINGS.

That concludes this episode of How Life Imitates The Maltese Falcon.

3 thoughts on “The Cheaper The Crook, The Gaudier The Patter

  1. True, but given just how cheap and sleazy Cohen is, you kind of wish they were on VHS or even 8 Track with a K-Tel logo somewhere on the box…

    1. Nah. They confiscated 20 cell phones. That’s what he recorded on.

  2. My understanding is that the Cohen tape came from Tim Mak, the reporter he was threatening on the phone. Which means that Mueller now has either (a) independent corroboration of the authenticity of the recordings the FBI seized from Cohen; or (2) evidence that Cohen doctored his recordings. That *Clunk!* sound you heard is Cohen shitting a brick.

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