Well, people – since I’ve had about enough of Gladys Kravitz’s favourite site (NextDoor) and people who live in a town (Carrollton) that made the list of the safest cities in Texas  constantly complaining about “intruders”, so I decided to post the following in the Nob Hill NextDoor group :

ATTENTION! SUSPICIOUS ACTIVITY!!!
Late last night (around 8:00) I noticed suspicious activity in my back alleyway. First, a probable coyote was walking along on the other side of my fenceline, obviously up to no good. If you ignore these vicious predators, they will form gangs and lurk on street corners.

Knowing this, I activated my Ring-a-ding-ding camera’s optional emergency alert system (connected to twin locomotive air horns) to frighten the probable coyote away. This worked, but less than a minute later, someone I didn’t recognize came sauntering down the alleyway calling out for his obvious fellow gang member, “Spot”.

Since the air horns need time to recharge from the air compressor, I called the Carrollton Police department. They took their own sweet time getting here, and approached the probable gang member just as the probable coyote came running to him and lept into his arms and either started eating or licking (lighting was bad) the gangster’s face.

The police started laughing – I assume at me, although I was safe in my fortified danger room monitoring this on the multiple monitors of my Ring-a-ding-ding system. I addressed them through the PA system speakers and demanded that both of these interlopers (obviously in league with each other) be either apprehended or put down immediately.

They replied that it was just a nearby neighbour out looking for his dog, and that Carrollton is one of the safest cities in Texas.

Obviously, the police have been infiltrated by the Deep State, and can no longer be trusted.

I’ll be redoubling my watch, and will be booby-trapping my back gate, garage door, and of course, my front door,

You can’t be too careful these days.

Sorry about no Freeperati post this week, but the lumbar radiculopathy thing has taken a turn for the worse, including a backwards fall off some porch steps. Nothing broken but my pride, but my contribution to the opioid epidemic has increased dramatically.

My contrast MRI is scheduled for Thursday, so hopefully the neurosurgeon will know which nerve roots to burn, and how deep, and do it bloody quick.

Also, “Best Of NextDoor” is now my fave Twitter destination.

And to close out – a real post from my NextDoor group :

Catastrophe narrowly averted!

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