It’s no secret that Donald Trump is the weirdest  president* ever. A compendium of his quirks and oddities could fill an entire post or a week of posts. One of the Impeached Insult Comedian’s weirder quirks is his obsession with water pressure. It began with his complaints about low flush terlets and expanded into a full-blown shower fetish.

The federal government is finally taking action on this crucial problem:

Donald Trump’s hair has mesmerized many observers since he began his career in politics, but now the president’s own pride in his locks has prompted the US government to propose an easing of shower pressure standards.

The Trump administration proposed rule changes that would allow shower heads to boost water pressure, after Trump repeatedly complained that bathroom fixtures do not work to his liking.

The Department of Energy plan followed comments from Trump last month at a White House event on rolling back regulations. He said he believed water does not come out fast enough from fixtures.

“So what do you do? You just stand there longer or you take a shower longer? Because my hair – I don’t know about you, but it has to be perfect. Perfect” he said.

His hair is perfect like the Werewolves Of London? The hair that Penn Jilette described as looking like cotton candy piss?

It apparently takes up to two hours daily for Trump’s hair and makeup to be perfect. Who the hell does he think he is: Joan Crawford? What’s next: an attack on wire hangers?

Other presidents have had weird hair. Ronald Reagan dyed his hair orange, but Trump is the first Oval One to remind us of a classic hair care product commercial:

America needs to flush this  failed president*. To paraphrase Rodgers and Hammerstein, we need to wash that man right out of our hair.

The last word goes to Peggy Lee and Ella Fitzgerald: