Malaka Of The Week: Rutledge Deas IV

The last thing I want to read or write about on Christmas Eve is politics. It’s time to send politics to bed without its supper and have some fun. And that is why Rutledge Deas IV is malaka of the week.

This story involves diapers and literal malakatude; a combination I haven’t written about since the heyday of Diaper Dave Vitter. Oops, I slipped in some political crack. Bitter Vitter is a washed-up politician, so he doesn’t count. He was, however, a troll.

I’ll let the good people at WWL-TV provide the facts:

NEW ORLEANS — Louisiana State Police arrested a 31-year-old man for offering to pay people to change his diapers.

This isn’t the first time Rutledge Deas IV has tried to get caretakers to change his diaper. In November 2019, he was arrested on human trafficking charges.

Deas posed as a younger man with special needs and hired babysitters who he would pay to change his diaper and treat him like a child.

In December of 2020, Deas plead guilty to those charges and was placed on probation.

Investigators say they started a second investigation on December 20, 2021, after learning of a text message sent by Deas. The message said that he was engaged in ‘alternative therapy’ and offered to pay the victim to change his diapers. He attempted to recruit a person to solicit other babysitters to care for him while he again posed as a younger man with special needs.

Detectives got an arrest warrant through the 24th Judicial District Court and he is being charged with one count of human trafficking and one count of attempted human trafficking.

He was arrested at his home in Metairie and booked into the Jefferson Parish Correctional Center.

I’m in a festive mood so I don’t feel like reading the Gret Stet’s human trafficking statute, but this sounds more like self-trafficking to me. Whatever it is, it’s a gross fetish. Ugh, just ugh.

I assume that Rutledge Deas IV is a rich white guy with a diaper fetish. If that’s the case, why didn’t he hire an escort? This is easy money for a sex worker. It would just entail baby powder and a trip to suburban Metry. That reminds me of this local holiday song:

I wonder why Benny Antin d/b/a Benny Grunch chose to spell Metry correctly. He must be slipping. Oh well, what the hell.

FYI, David Vitter also lived in Metry in his diaper days. Apparently, diaper Deas are here again…

I googled Rutledge Deas IV to see what else I could learn about a man that WWL called a “diaper-changing scammer.” I’m not sure if he’s related to a wealthy Gret Stet oil family with the same surname, but they have some Rutledges. If I were Rutledge Deas III, I’d demand this sick creep take the number off his name pronto. Rutledge III could even belt out this song:

As is my wont, I searched for “songs with diaper in the title” and found this ad:

John Legend has a diaper changing song? Who knew? That’s what I get for not watching the Super Bowl. I only watch Saints games.

The world of politics is grim right now. We all need some comic relief. And that is why Rutledge Deas IV is malaka of the week.

The last word goes to Eartha Kitt:

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