Fox host Jesse Watters used to conduct ambush interviews for The O’Reilly Factor. Hence the featured image He’s no longer Bill-O’s bobo, he’s the primetime host who succeeded Tucker Carlson. Like the Mothertucker, Watters has some strange ideas. And that is why Jesse Watters is malaka of the week.
There was a huge stink on social media in March over some ridiculous remarks made by the man with the unnecessary T in his name. I’m not spilling any tea because I’m late to the pile-on but it’s never too late to kick a Fox host when they’re down:
“I have rules for men,” Watters began on Wednesday’s The Five. “They’re just funny, they’re not that serious. Like, you don’t eat soup in public. You don’t cross your legs. And you don’t drink from a straw. And one of the reasons you don’t drink from a straw is the way your lips purse. It’s very effeminate.”
That’s funny? Moronic and sexist are better descriptions. Some wag at Chancellor Musk’s hell site posted a picture of a football playing general who helped win World War II and became the 34th POTUS:
Who’s manlier General President Eisenhower or Jesse Watters?
These rules for men insecure about their masculinity arose from a feud between Watters and Tim Walz:
Referring to Walz, he said: “His excuse was, ‘well I was drinking a milkshake.’ Again, you shouldn’t be drinking a milkshake. Milkshakes are for kids.”
Holy milkshake phobia, Batman.
I seem to recall that Tim Walz hunts, fishes, fixes cars, and was a high school football coach before running for office. Sounds manly to me. Besides, Malaka Jesse has been known to drink through a demon straw:
I don’t care for straws, but I dig this song:
Watters also has emphatic opinions about waving. I am not making this up:
“Watters also claimed that real men “don’t wave simultaneously with two hands. We wave with one hand, not both hands at the same time.”
It’s enough to make fake tough guy John Wayne throw up his hands:
Bill-O’s former bobo’s ideas are so wacky that Ted Cruz, of all people, looks askance at them:
“Jesse Watters has rules for men,” Watters’ producer told Cruz. “He said men should not have male best friends. What do you think?” Cruz replied: “Jesse needs a friend.”
You know you’re a malaka when noted asshole Ted Cruz thinks you’re one. Maybe Jesse should spend more time with his mentor, Bill-O. They could share a laugh and even a loofah.
Pondering Malaka Jesse’s rule for men, has inspired me to come up with my own list of five.
- Don’t be an asshole.
- Always leave the toilet seat down.
- Don’t fart or burp at the dinner table.
- Cover your mouth while yawning or coughing.
- Don’t watch Jesse Watters Primetime.
If you’re going to break any rules for men, break Malaka Jesse’s. It’s what Peter Frampton would want:
The manly malakatude, it burns.
I’m not sure whether to call Jesse Watters a creep, jerk, or asshole. They all work for this misogynistic moron. And that is why Jesse Watters is malaka of the week.
The last word goes to Todd Rundgren:
