Why do you persist in doing this stupid, useless crap, Republicans?
Just … I just … *puts on voice used to tell ferrets to climb down off table and piano* LOOK. I see what you’re doing. I don’t approve. Nobody told you you could do that. Just cut it out. I have stuff to do today and none of it involves picking up after the mess you made by doing that idiotic thing I told you NOT TO DO NOW GET DOWN OFF THERE ALREADY. Yes, you. No, the other one who looks you like who’s doing what you’re doing. Right.
This shit is just so profoundly tiresome. We have, at last count, two wars, about a zillion people out of jobs, we’re about to donate all of Michigan to the Salvation Army, parts of Chicago look like the parts of Jamaica the tour bus takes you past really fast, kids are sick, people are shooting at each other over nothing, Glenn Beck continues to be on TV, and there’s homeless fucking veterans in the world. We are not short on stuff we need to get done. And yet what the Republican party wants us to get amped about is a resolution saying the Bible is awesome and by the way, it will feel neglected if we don’t buy it drinks at the Cinco de Mayo party? Honestly?
One thing I’ve never understood about these assholes is their conception of Christianity as a religion that simultaneously thrives on persecution and is strong enough to withstand the most fearsome storms in human history, yet needs the approval of the U.S. Senate lest it collapse entirely in the face of … I don’t know, Islam and kids learning about Kwanzaa in school. Either your Jesus is Clint Eastwood or Greg Kinnear, he can’t be both, okay?
I personally think it’s kind of insulting to opine that anything that has had as profound an influence on human thought and history as the Bible needs to be declared an official mascot of the year 2010 like it’s one of those fucking Olympic animal toys.
A.