Cut it OUT

Why do you persist in doing this stupid, useless crap, Republicans?

Just … I just … *puts on voice used to tell ferrets to climb down off table and piano* LOOK. I see what you’re doing. I don’t approve. Nobody told you you could do that. Just cut it out. I have stuff to do today and none of it involves picking up after the mess you made by doing that idiotic thing I told you NOT TO DO NOW GET DOWN OFF THERE ALREADY. Yes, you. No, the other one who looks you like who’s doing what you’re doing. Right.

This shit is just so profoundly tiresome. We have, at last count, two wars, about a zillion people out of jobs, we’re about to donate all of Michigan to the Salvation Army, parts of Chicago look like the parts of Jamaica the tour bus takes you past really fast, kids are sick, people are shooting at each other over nothing, Glenn Beck continues to be on TV, and there’s homeless fucking veterans in the world. We are not short on stuff we need to get done. And yet what the Republican party wants us to get amped about is a resolution saying the Bible is awesome and by the way, it will feel neglected if we don’t buy it drinks at the Cinco de Mayo party? Honestly?

One thing I’ve never understood about these assholes is their conception of Christianity as a religion that simultaneously thrives on persecution and is strong enough to withstand the most fearsome storms in human history, yet needs the approval of the U.S. Senate lest it collapse entirely in the face of … I don’t know, Islam and kids learning about Kwanzaa in school. Either your Jesus is Clint Eastwood or Greg Kinnear, he can’t be both, okay?

I personally think it’s kind of insulting to opine that anything that has had as profound an influence on human thought and history as the Bible needs to be declared an official mascot of the year 2010 like it’s one of those fucking Olympic animal toys.

A.

8 thoughts on “Cut it OUT

  1. virgotex says:

    It’s insulting to a lot of us, but -you know this- we aren’t ever ever ever going to vote for any of them.
    The low hanging fruit bat base that WILL vote for them and the straggling handful that MIGHT yet vote for them will think this, and the pro life license plates and we hate fags day and throw out the immigrants bill, is great and no one else is paying attention to me so I’ll go vote for that guy.
    I honestly think that in the entire US congress, there might be 10 people who are themselves truly motivated by personal religious beliefs. To the rest of them, it’s just currency.

  2. CybScryb says:

    The GOP is starting to remind me of the guy who the owners of the company are particularly attached to, or from whose family they have sought investment and are now stuck with. This particular person tried really hard in the past, but kept screwing up and has been surpassed by so many people that marginalization and eventual release are the only solutions left.
    So in desperation, quiet or not, this person tries to find some semblance of meaning in their function, with each grasp becoming more desperate, each attempt combining more comedy with pathos.
    That’s the GOP of today.

  3. Elspeth R says:

    You.are.awesome!!!
    To hell w/the bible, I say 2010 is the year of First Draft!!! (and the mascot is the cat bus crack van!!!)
    Elspeth

  4. hoppy says:

    I wonder what it would be like to live in a nation that believed in Christianity. I’ll never know.

  5. pansypoo says:

    whille obama is acting more christian in deed, the republiklans have to do more jazz hands jeebus stuff to keep their base.
    i am getting sick of jeebus lovers.

  6. Interrobang says:

    The Republican Party seems to be turning into the Skinny Joey Merlino of politics. (For those of you not in the know, Skinny Joey Merlino is a mafioso from a well-connected mob family in New Jersey; he’s so incompetent, even the cops feel sorry for what a fuckup he is, albeit not too much.)

  7. willf says:

    hoppy,
    you’re soaking in it.

  8. Fat Guy says:

    “And yet what the Republican party wants us to get amped about is a resolution saying the Bible is awesome and by the way, it will feel neglected if we don’t buy it drinks at the Cinco de Mayo party? Honestly?”
    That’s awesome…

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