Smells Like Teen Spirit Vlad Putin

Ukrainegate (Vladgate? Vodagate? whatever, take your pick) officially reached bizarro if not shady status with the adding of former Loosiana [sic] US Representative and coulda-been-Speaker-of-the-House but for his own personal issues/failings Bob Livingston to the mix. Livingston, for those who’ve forgotten, was one of many who displayed a fine sense of hypocrisy in wagging a finger at Bill Clinton, only to be exposed for similar behavior. Holding to the same standards in his professional life after resigning from Congress — like plenty of other Republicans — Bob showed just how much he hated Warshington by staying there and becoming a high-end … Continue reading Smells Like Teen Spirit Vlad Putin

Punishment is the Point

I wrote this shortly after Trump took office and it remains true even if no one listened:   FOR TRUMP means they get to bully right back. FOR TRUMP means they get to tell their liberal sister-in-law that she’s a stupid bitch. FOR TRUMP means instead of respecting a black or brown person, they get to call that person names. FOR TRUMP means they get to turn off that nagging instinct, nurtured by the churches they say mean so much to them, that maybe they should help the big scary world that’s burning down outside their windows. FOR TRUMP means they get to … Continue reading Punishment is the Point

Our Politicians and Pundits Know Nothing About Politics

This was dumb: Pete Buttigieg says he wants more Supreme Court justices who are like Justice Kennedy. The same Justice Kennedy who voted to uphold Trump's Muslim ban, voted for the Janus decision gutting labor unions, and voted to uphold voter suppression in Husted — Brian Tashman (@briantashman) October 24, 2019 This was dumber: For 3 Hours a day, we call out corrupt politicians. We call out Trump. If u want to make your voice heard, vote. I understand the chanting at the game-But, I worry it is dangerous when it happens-On both sides. It’s been a consistent concern … Continue reading Our Politicians and Pundits Know Nothing About Politics

Sunday Catblogging: Our Heroine

Last week I wrote that post about what a bitch Ada was and how she never shuts up about anything ever, so I basically deserve what happened yesterday. It had been raining all day so Kick and Mr. A and I took advantage of being forced indoors to clean out closets and prep the house for an onslaught of holiday visitors and figure out where the mates to all our gloves had gone over the summer. The cats get profoundly, comically offended when we clean, as if us moving things is a personal affront to them and they were very, … Continue reading Sunday Catblogging: Our Heroine

A Diversity of Views

Do we? Do we need this?  Zuckerberg on Breitbart: "Part of having this be a trusted source is that it needs to have a diversity of basically views in there. I think u want to have content that represents different perspectives but is doing so in a way that complies with the standards we have for this." — Jeremy Barr (@jeremymbarr) October 25, 2019 I’m asking, because I don’t actually grant that we do. Do we need the “view” that Bill Kristol, however abominable he may be, is a “renegade Jew?” Do we need the “view” that there exists in … Continue reading A Diversity of Views

Not Everything Sucks: Baking Edition

It’s cold and rainy here. You know what that means: It’s gingerbread season, motherfuckers. Here’s one of my favorite recipes. Here’s another, which is labor-intensive but results in this fluffy spicy heavenly cake that my little sister used to beg me to make every Christmas. It’s got all the yum but none of the “ya basic” judgement now shamefully associated with that most heavenly of things, pumpkin spice. Fuck everyone who hates on pumpkin spice, by the way. You can tear my overpriced calorically bloated latte from my cold dead mitten-clad hands, and the same goes for my Pumking beer. … Continue reading Not Everything Sucks: Baking Edition

Saturday Odds & Sods: Things We Said Today

Circus Sideshow by Georges Seurat.

Fall has finally fallen, fuck yeah. The AC is switched off since it has been in the low to mid 70’s all week. Autumn is a short season in New Orleans so we have to enjoy it while it lasts. I even wore a sweatshirt the other day. Not a big deal where many of you live but after the hottest September on record, I am giddy

In honor of the season, I’m growing a beard for the first time in several years. But if it gets too itchy, I’ll shave it off. Perhaps I should try some hipster beard oil or some such shit. I draw the line at a man bun; not that I have enough hair to have one but if I did, I wouldn’t.

The big local story continues to be the Hard Rock Hotel collapse. They imploded the cranes last Sunday, which made things less bad. We’ll take less bad, y’all.  I’m hoping that City Hall will learn a lesson from this mess and stop letting developers run over them in the future. Real estate developers are the worst.

This week’s theme song is credited to Lennon & McCartney but it’s more Macca than John. It’s one of my favorite early Beatles songs, yeah, yeah, yeah. Or as Paul would say, WOOOOO.

We have three versions of Things We Said Today for your listening pleasure: the Beatles original, Dwight Yoakam’s 1997 cover, and a more recent version by New Orleans singer, Debbie Davis.

It’s time to stop talking and jump to the break.

Continue reading “Saturday Odds & Sods: Things We Said Today”

Lèse Tangerine

How’s this for a news cycle? We’ve got DJT’s lawyer in open court insisting ANY attempt to limit the Le Dauphin is a … HUGE … affront to his dignity and therefore completely off limits (I wonder what Bill Clinton’s thinking?), the Matt Gaetz-Louie Gohmert-even-among-intellectual-lightweights-these-nitwits-stand-out-GOP-MAGAts reprised the Brooks Brothers riot, bypassing the repetition of history first as tragedy, going straight to farce; meanwhile, DJT let us know what he really thinks about William Taylor and Never Trumper GOPers generally (Human Scum — how presidential)…insisted we were building a big, beautiful wall in in Colorado (paid for by New Mexicans?), and … Continue reading Lèse Tangerine

We Are So Afraid

Teaching cops to see themselves as the last line of defense against a roiling mob of lawbreakers intent on raping and pillaging across the land has, shall we say, consequences:  The most important thing for a police officer is to be sure they “go home at the end of the day,” they tell themselves repeatedly, including in police trainings on use of force. “It’s better to be judged by twelve than carried by six,” is a common refrain every police officer has heard repeatedly throughout their careers. Officers and their union representatives have said it to me dozens of times over … Continue reading We Are So Afraid

Today on Tommy T’s Obsession with the Freeperati – Mental Health Week edition

Folks, I’m going to need a short break from the Freepitude. This is what pushed me over the line : Rep. Elijah Cummings has died at age 68 due to health complications……… wjla ^ | !0/17/2019 | Wjla Posted on 10/17/2019, 4:37:14 AM by caww Congressman Elijah E. Cummings (MD-07) died early Thursday morning due to complications concerning longstanding health challenges, according to a statement from his office. 1 posted on 10/17/2019, 4:37:14 AM by caww Comment #10 Removed by Moderator To: caww   The Trump curse.Don’t mess with this President because God is on his side. 14 posted on … Continue reading Today on Tommy T’s Obsession with the Freeperati – Mental Health Week edition

Sunday Catblogging: Chatty Catty Edition

Mr. A and I recently left our cats (and, you know, kid) with my parents while we went on a quick trip to a wedding, and before we left I sat down and wrote out instructions about how and when to pick Kick up from school and what packages we were expecting and how to work the coffeemaker. I then devoted two entire long paragraphs to how Ada never, ever, ever, under any circumstances, shuts the fuck up even for a second: Dear Mom and Dad, Miss Kitty-Witty will yell at you from the second you let her out of … Continue reading Sunday Catblogging: Chatty Catty Edition

Or, as the kids once called it, the Bush Administration

We fucking warned you:  “Get over it,” Mulvaney told the assembled journalists. “Elections have consequences,” he also said. Allow me to translate: American voters gave Trump the presidency, so it’s his to use and abuse as he wants. If you’re looking for an apology, you might as well be looking for the yeti. What you should really be doing is looking the other way. We tried to tell everybody who was shocked when Bush didn’t, you know, do anything different when his approval rating dipped below 50, that the real Bush Doctrine was that approval ratings and the howling of … Continue reading Or, as the kids once called it, the Bush Administration

Not Everything Sucks

Leona Lansing and Charlie Skinner are out here fucking shit up:  Jane Fonda was arrested again on Friday for protesting outside the Capitol in an effort to urge U.S. officials to take climate change seriously. This time, however, fellow “Grace and Frankie” actor Sam Waterston joined in on the protest and was also arrested. “Today, the United States Capitol Police arrested 17 individuals for unlawfully demonstrating in the unit block of First Street, SE.,” Eva Malecki, communications director with the Capitol Police, told Variety in a statement. She added that they were charged with crowding, obstructing or incommoding. Tweets of the two actors with their … Continue reading Not Everything Sucks

Saturday Odds & Sods: Begin The Beguine

Masks by Emil Nolde.

It’s been a long week in New Orleans. The collapsed Hard Rock Hotel sits there like a dagger pointed at our municipal throat. That’s led to concerns about damage to the beautifully restored Saenger Theatre across the street and other historic buildings.

There’s also been some serious conclusion jumping and finger pointing. It reminds me that *all* Americans love to jail people, liberals and conservatives just want to jail different people. TFC. What’s that spell? This Fucking City.  I’ve created a Fish Cheer for 21st Century New Orleans.

In addition to my acronymic exploits, I have a new catchphrase via the Insult Comedian: “They have a lot of sand over there; a lot of sand.” Believe me.

Cole Porter wrote this week’s theme song in 1935 whilst taking a Pacific cruise. It debuted in the Broadway musical, Jubilee.

We have two versions of Begin The Beguine for your listening pleasure: Artie Shaw and his orchestra, and Sheryl Crow from the 2004 Porter bio-pic, De-Lovely.

A quick note about bio-pics. Cary Grant played Cole Porter as a manly heterosexual in the 1946 movie, Night and Day. In 2004, Kevin Kline played Porter as what he was: a gay man in  a “lavender cover-up” marriage with a woman. There was no sex in the first movie, way too much in the second. Neither movie did a good job depicting Porter as a genius songwriter. That’s why we remember Cole, not who he slept with.

Let’s jump to the break whistling, You’re The Top. That’s bound to guarantee a smooth landing unless we land on the Tower of Pisa. In that case, we’ll just have to lean into it…

Continue reading “Saturday Odds & Sods: Begin The Beguine”