Category Archives: Stupid Republican Tricks

‘in the end the age was handed/the sort of shit that it demanded’

The first wounded American from the Italian front arrived yesterday by the steamship Giuseppe Verdi of the Transatlantica Line with probably more scars than any other man in or out of uniform, who defied the shrapnel of the Central Powers.

His wounds might have been much less if he had not been constructed by nature on generous proportions, being more than six feet tall and of ample beam.

He is Ernest M. Hemingway, before the war a reporter for the Kansas City Star, and hailing from Oak Park, Ill.  The surgical chart of his battered person shows 227 marks indicating where bits of a peculiar kind of Austrian shrapnel, about as thick as a .22 caliber bullet and an inch long, like small cuts from a length of wire, smote him.  Some of these bits have been extracted after a dozen or more operations and young Hemingway hopes finally to get them all out, but he still retains a hundred or more.

— The New York Sun, January 22, 1919

What you have to understand about Ernest Hemingway is that the work is the point. The drinking and the shooting and the girls, the big-game hunter persona, the Cult of Hemingway that insists being a loud braggy mess is a creative process, all that gets in the way. Strip it out. Take the myth apart. Stop confusing the person with the fan club. Stop confusing the writer with the person.

Go back to the work.

While the bombardment was knocking the trench to pieces at Fossalta, he lay very flat and sweated and prayed oh jesus christ get me out of here. Dear jesus please get me out. Christ please please please christ. If you’ll only keep me from getting killed I’ll do anything you say. I believe in you and I’ll tell every one in the world that you are the only one that matters. Please please dear jesus. The shelling moved further up the line. We went to work on the trench and in the morning the sun came up and the day was hot and muggy and cheerful and quiet. The next night back at Mestre he did not tell the girl he went upstairs with at the Villa Rossa about Jesus. And he never told anybody.

Ernest Hemingway would be the first person to punch all these losers who think they’re Ernest Hemingway because they got in a fistfight or treat women badly. He got up every single morning and he worked. He wrote every day. He wrote for hours. When his back hurt too badly for him to sit down at a desk, he put his typewriter on top of the dresser so he could write standing up. Most of the poser neckbeards who compare themselves to Hemingway shit themselves when their local bar runs out of craft moonshine.

There’s a part of A Moveable Feast where Hemingway is working in a Paris café. A fanboy comes in, sits down, starts talking to Hemingway about how hard it is being a writer, about how he has this terrible writer’s block and he believes in himself as a writer but he can’t actually, you know, write anything.

And after about 15 minutes of listening to this guy whinge about the great book we all know he’s not going to write, Hemingway finally tells him to go to hell. “You shouldn’t write if you can’t write. What do you have to cry about it for? Go home. Get a job. Hang yourself. Only don’t talk about it. You could never write.”

He hated bullshit. He hated his own bullshit the most.

I get so enraged about this because this is something I know a little bit about. I was taught to hate Hemingway the way most of us are, by having The Old Man and the Sea forced on me in high school. And I learned to love Hemingway by finding a cheap copy of The Sun Also Rises in a used-book store in college and reading about rootlessness and recklessness at a time when such things seemed very real. I devoured everything he wrote. The brilliant early journalism, the short stories, the brutal bad novels of his later years when, hobbled by the electric shock treatment intended to treat his depression, he could no longer trust his memory.

He went to war as a teenager. He volunteered for it. The U.S. wasn’t even in World War I when Hemingway left his home and friends and family and everything he’d ever known and offered to drive canteen trucks and deliver mail and chocolate to the front.

He already wanted to be a writer. He wrote terrible poetry and very good journalism for his high school paper and later for the Kansas City Star. He wanted to travel. There are these photographs of him, before the war, when he looks like any other kid his age, desperate to get out into the world and take a big bite out of it.

There are these photographs of him after the war. After the world bit back. After 227 pieces of shrapnel tore through his body. He carried that metal until he died. He spent the rest of his life in physical pain.

You’d never know it from the story he created about himself, the swashbuckling, the show-off adventuring, would you? You’d never know it if you only know his story and not his stories.

So for a man like Donald Trump to act like Ernest Hemingway would have done anything but punch him in the face, would have done anything but told him to fuck off and shut up and never write anything again, for a man like Donald Trump to compare himself to Ernest Hemingway or say that anyone would have done so, let’s just say it’s profoundly unlikely.

One of Hemingway’s poems, however, does seem uniquely suited to our present political situation:

The age demanded that we sing
And cut away our tongue.
The age demanded that we flow
And hammered in the bung.
The age demanded that we dance
And jammed us into iron pants.
And in the end the age was handed
The sort of shit that it demanded.

A.

From Russia With Love

9db59d1880367337dbde17fb6a57af48

Twelfth Night 2017 was a surprisingly busy news day. The big story was, of course, the intelligence report about Russian interference in the late election.  This tweet from Rachel Maddow sums it up perfectly:

I’d call it a gut punch but that could cause stomach churning. The worst thing about the Insult Comedian’s reaction was his refusal to admit that he was wrong after months of dismissing reports that were confirmed on Friday. He continues to be Putin’s lap dog:

They will respect us more after you condoned the hacking and had a political roll in the hay with Julian Assange? How does that work? The con man has become Putin’s mark.

The overall Republican reaction was horrifying. They yawned and said “so what?” Remember when they were the anti-Russian, pro-intelligence community party? Now they’re the party of Trump. I wonder how long until other GOPers start stiffing contractors?

I am *not* in favor of a new Cold War but the insouciance of the Republican reaction is infuriating. Apparently, anything goes as long as it benefits them. This is not entirely new but the advent of Trumpism has reinforced their inclination to be the Selfish Party.

It’s going to be a long four years but at least the Insult Comedian will be focused on important issues like fighting with Arnold Schwarzenegger and Meryl Streep. Of course, what they think is irrelevant because they voted for Hillary. So much for being President of all the people.

I’ll give Rodney Crowell the last word with this mock ode to selfishness:

Today on Tommy T’s Local Yokels – letter of interest

Good people – I’d like to tell you about someone I met yesterday at the Democrats HD65 strategy / committee elections meeting Saturday.

youngsung

His name is Young Sung, and he’s an impressive individual.

MBA, Deacon in his Methodist church, Korean-English translator for dispute resolution, the FBI, and Homeland Security. One of the mainstays behind development of the incredibly successful “H Mart” here in Carrollton (our fair city) Tx.

Endorsed by the Carrollton Fire Fighters Association, the Carrollton Police Officers Association, Ron Branson (former Mayor of Carrollton), Becky Miller (former Mayor of Carrollton), and many others, he ran for a seat on the Carrollton City Council last May.

Guess what happened?

He surged in early voting, and the Tea Party incumbent Anthony Wilder’s re-election was in danger.

Then, this was mailed out to Carrollton voters.

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untitled-29-page-001

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So – gay Korean mosques and temples for everyone!

Woo Hoo!

It gets better, though – please click on the “continue reading” to continue reading.

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Tell Me About The Rabbits, Duncan

Killer Rabbit

The most amusing fall-out from House GOPer’s failed attempt to dial the ethics wayback machine to the Bug Man era comes from San Diego:

Rep. Duncan Hunter used campaign funds to pay for $600 of airline fees to fly a family rabbit, one of the more colorful expenses to surface in an ongoing review of his practices.

Hunter’s staff told the Press-Enterprise newspaper that the House Office of Congressional Ethics questioned the pet expenses — offered as an example of over-reach by the agency.

<SNIP>

In the Press-Enterprise, Kasper criticized the as-yet-unreleased ethics office report on Hunter, saying “findings or implications are significantly misrepresented or even exaggerated.”

As an example, Kasper mentioned the family rabbit transportation fees — which were apparently charged to the campaign credit card by mistake, instead of using airline miles racked up on the campaign dime.

“(The office) has in their report $600 in campaign expenditures for in cabin rabbit transport fees,” Kasper said. “Since travel is often done on (airline) miles – which is entirely permissible – the credit card connected to the account was charged several times even when his children were flying.

Holy pitiful spin, Batman. That’s the best Hunter’s minion can come up with? Rabbit travel miles? Sounds like white rabbit privilege to me, y’all. Hunter inherited his seat from his great white bread father, after all.

I would like to thank Congresscritter Hunter for giving me an excuse to post a medieval killer rabbit image as well as this Sixties classic:

The psychedelic lyrics of White Rabbit could explain the inept way Hunter’s office handled the rabbit travel incident. They’re tripping, man.

Feed your head, feed your head but don’t lose it to a killer rabbit:

2rabbits-2-form-the-smithfield

Joey No Socks Meets Don Donaldo, Il Comico Insulto

There’s a new Trump story for the MSM to ignore and/or explain away. The Insult Comedian spent New Years Eve with a guy named Joey No Socks Cinque:

Cinque can be seen in a video obtained by the Palm Beach Daily News, cheering loudly as a tuxedo-clad Trump runs through a number of campaign promises before the hundreds of guests attending the New Year’s Eve bash the President-elect threw at his Mar-a-Lago estate in Florida on Saturday.

“The taxes are coming down, regulations are coming off, we’re going to get rid of Obamacare,” Trump can be heard saying as an exuberant Cinque stands next to him, pumping his fists into the air.

Cinque’s Sunday appearance with Trump might raise some eyebrows.

Beyond a 1989 felony conviction for possessing nearly $100,000 worth of stolen artwork, Cinque “used to be friends with John Gotti,” according to a New York Magazine profile from 1995.

Cinque was also “shot three times and left for dead” in a 1980 incident that authorities described as “a hit,” according to the profile.

This is the company kept by the man who lost the popular vote. Of course, nobody should be shocked that Trump hangs out with wise guys or their associates. I wrote about that very subject last June in a post called Don Donaldo, Il Comico Insulto. I decided it was high time to revive the Italianate form of the nickname since Trump is poised to become America’s very own Berlusconi.

At least Cinque has a cool nickname: Joey No Socks is a new one on me. It evokes Joe Pantoliano’s childhood nickname, Joey Pants. He, of course, played Ralphie in The Sopranos. Cinque has also been called-get ready for it-the Preppy Don. Maybe that’s why Trump hangs out with him…

The real reason Trump likes Joey No Socks is that he runs a group that gives fake awards to rich egomaniacs. It’s something called the American Academy of Hospitality Sciences. I wonder what science is involved? Chemistry or scammery? Probably the latter. Here’s a picture of Don Donaldo and his sockless felon pal from 2013:

joe-no-socks-trump

Imagine if the Clintons were seen bringing in the New Year with a guy described in his Wikipedia entry as a “small-time mobster, a scam artist, and an art fence.” It would be the lead story on Fox News and the respectable MSM would be all over it like a cheap suit worn by James Comey. I’m hearing crickets so far. The MSM is too busy giving Trump credit for the Congressional ethics walk back to be bothered. A new motto for the respectables: if Trump tweets it, it must be true.  #SARCASM

One oddity of this story is that Joey No Socks shares a name with the leader of the Amistad Revolt, Joseph Cinqué. The only difference in spelling is l’accent grave. There’s another difference, one of them led a slave revolt whereas the other is slavishly revolting.

When I first heard about the Trump-Cinque connection, I misheard the latter’s nickname as Joey No Shoes. That’s why I’m giving Frank Zappa the last word:

That concludes this edition of Life Imitates The Sopranos.

What Are You Looking At?

I cannot tell you how exhausted I am of the Democratic Party pretending there’s only one race that matters: 

Still, the party’s expectations about Clinton demonstrated just how bad parties are at analyzing what they need to fix to win. Next year, while it is not what they boast about, Democrats are expecting mistakes by Trump — the most unpopular incoming president in decades — to create opportunities for them. Their debate about winning a new majority is not about a savior from red America, or even a change in policy. It is about better organizing, and how to win back voters who were Democrats until the party was branded as neoliberal and pro-trade.

 

Democrats can’t just organize at the national level and run for president and lose every House and Senate seat and every state house and expect those losses not to eventually bite them in the ass at the national level too. Let the blue states become seething roiling pits of anti-everything sentiment, from Scott Walker’s rageaholic anti-education Wisconsin to Bruce Rauner’s union-bashing Illinois, and those feelings reach a critical mass.

If every voice from every leader is an authoritarian Republican one, how do you expect them to listen to what Democrats are saying? Where are they supposed to read your 5-point plan? Twitter?

When we look at the future, what are we looking at? National numbers on Trump’s unpopularity? If that shit mattered John Kerry would be opening his presidential library and Hillary would be having Bill measure the Oval for new curtains. State numbers are all that matters, and maybe this more than anything: How far down the Republican rabbit hole have the state legislature and the house races gone?

If those have all been won by tea-freak bigots, I don’t care what it did in the last election, that’s not a blue state.

What are we expecting otherwise? “Well, on a local level I approve of drug testing for welfare and repealing worker protections and gutting public schools and bashing professors and throwing the entire economy into a tailspin so I can regulate where transgender people pee, but nationally? I’m all for fairness, sharing, kindness, gay people, single mothers and the idea of a representative democracy!”

Forget a 50-State Strategy. We need a 50-State Legislature Strategy.

A.

Today on Tommy T’s Obsession with the Freeperati – grate expectations edition

Hi, good people – hope your holidays are happy ones!

This is a quickie, since our house is about to be visited for the weekend by daughters-in-law, their husbands, and FIVE grandchildren, and this morning I expect to be sound asleep.

First up – get a room, you two!

Trump shares letter from Putin: ‘His thoughts are so correct’
thehill.com ^ | 12/23/16 | Harper Neidig

Posted on 12/23/2016, 1:04:51 PM by ColdOne

President-elect Donald Trump on Friday praised Vladimir Putin and shared a Christmas letter the Russian president sent him.

“A very nice letter from Vladimir Putin; his thoughts are so correct,” Trump said in a statement. “I hope both sides are able to live up to these thoughts, and we do not have to travel an alternate path.”

In the attached letter, Putin emphasized the importance of cooperation between the two countries.

“I hope that after you assume the position of the President of the United States of America we will be able – by acting in a constructive and pragmatic manner – to take real steps to restore the framework of bilateral cooperation in different areas as well as bring our level of collaboration on the international scene to a qualitatively new level,” the Russian leader wrote.

1 posted on 12/23/2016, 1:04:51 PM by ColdOne

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So – has the cognitive dissonance dissipated yet?

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To: ColdOne

 

Sounds to me like Putin won’t take the obama/NeoCon bait to start WW3.

9 posted on 12/23/2016, 1:21:17 PM by Paulie (America without Christ is like a Chemistry book without the periodic table.)

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Apparently not.
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To: detective 

Putin is a Christian. That is a huge improvement over what we presently have.

SpitTake

I do believe that Putin and Trump will have a respectful relationship and put an end to world-wide Islamic terrorism.

10 posted on 12/23/2016, 2:14:56 PM by sodpoodle (Life is prickly – carry tweezers.)

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Put an END to it?
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trumpaleppo
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One more below the fold – read on..
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Today on Tommy T’s Obsession with the Freeperati – I got nothin’ edition

People – this feature is getting harder and harder to write.  Not asking for sympathy, just stating a fact. Cognitive dissonance, always a strong feature in Freeperville, has now completely taken over, and how do you parody something once it has entered Poeville?

An example:

Michelle Obama says Americans will miss having a ‘grown-up’ in the White House
CBC ^

Posted on 12/16/2016, 9:28:28 PM by Sub-Driver

Michelle Obama says Americans will miss having a ‘grown-up’ in the White House

In interview with Oprah Winfrey, Obama says ‘people will come to appreciate’ her husband’s presidency

Michelle Obama said the White House needs a “grown-up” and the U.S. will come to appreciate President Barack Obama.

In an interview with Oprah Winfrey set to air Monday night, Obama said the election has reinforced her view that her husband’s administration was able to inspire hope “because we feel the difference now.”

“Now we’re feeling what not having hope feels like,” she said. “You know? Hope is necessary. It’s a necessary concept. And Barack didn’t just talk about hope because he thought it was just a nice slogan to get votes.

“What do you give your kids if you can’t give them hope?” she added.

1 posted on 12/16/2016, 9:28:28 PM by Sub-Driver
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To: Sub-Driver 

Liberals live in their own alternate reality.

 

Projection’s a bitch, innit?

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These two sociopaths can take a hike.

2 posted on 12/16/2016, 9:29:52 PM by headstamp 2 (Fear is the mind killer.)

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This moron voted for The Darnold, who is the textbook example of a sociopath – ergo, President Obama is a sociopath.
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How exactly am I supposed to parody that? It would be like mocking a disabled person.
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trumpreporter
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Oh, fuck you.
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To: Sub-Driver

 

Who, even among his diehard syncophants, thinks of Barack as an adult?

Seriously, who sees him as anything than a petulant child?

16 posted on 12/16/2016, 9:33:17 PM by BenLurkin (The above is not a statement of fact. It is either satire or opinion. Or both.)

If by “him” you mean The Darnold :
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trumpchildishface
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Maybe a Freeper will make some kind of funny reply I can feature as “post of the thread”?
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To: Sub-Driver

 

GTFO of our house Ape.

19 posted on 12/16/2016, 9:33:33 PM by boknows

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Nah.
I’ll take one more swing at it below the fold – follow, if you dare.

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Tea For The Tillerson

tea-for-the-tillerson

On Mardi Gras day, New Orleanians are accustomed to saying “Hail, Rex.” When I heard about Trump appointing Putin’s pal  Rex Tillerson, my reaction was “Hail, No Rex.” Most people confronting controversy over their ties to the Russian kleptocracy would not even consider appointing someone who is close to Putin as Secretary of State. The Insult Comedian doesn’t give a shit what mere mortals think. Anyone out there still think this is a populist uprising? It’s more like the revolt of the plutocrats.

Trump has assembled a team of saboteurs. He’s appointed people who *loathe* cabinet departments to head them. We have the Doctor/Congressman who wants to destroy the ACA and Medicare. We have Billionaire Betsy who wants to destroy public schools in favor of charters whether or not they’re any good. Then there’s the skeezy fast food mogul who hates workers as Labor Secretary. GOPers used to appoint the most conservative labor leader and express shock when the AFL-CIO complained.

Then there are unqualified picks like Nikki Haley at the UN and Ben Carson at HUD. Dr. Sleepy at least fits a classic pattern: Republicans like to appoint black people to head up HUD. Hey, them people all live in inner city hellholes, right? So it goes.

Rick Perry is nominally qualified to be Energy Secretary but it’s one of the departments he ran on abolishing in 2012. Not that he could remember what it was called. Oops. We’re about to go from a nuclear physicist to an idiot heading that department.

The Russian kleptocracy has friends in high places with crazy Gen. Flynn and Rex Tillerson riding the Trump crazy train. The latter, apparently, had one of his people scrub his wikipedia entry:

It is unclear as to why the Insult Comedian picked the Texas oil man. It could be his ties to Republican establishment types like Jim Baker, and Condominium Rice who do business with the Rexster. That strikes me as odd since Rice refused to endorse Trump and sniped at him several times during the campaign. One would also hope that former Secretaries of State would support someone who’s qualified. But we know how that goes: IOKIYAR.

It looks as if the man from Exxon/Mobil was appointed because of his pro-Putin sentiments. Two of the other contenders, Willard Mittbot Romney, and Tennessee Senator Bob Corker actually know that Russia has illegally seized the Crimea; something that remains a mystery to the electoral college winner.

The only thing I like about Trump’s pick for Secretary of State is his punworthy name. I hope Cat Stevens doesn’t mind my using his album cover. He *is* my countryman, even if he goes by Yusuf Islam these days. That leads me to our next meme:

rex-vlad-meme

Notice the look of love in their eyes? We’re really in for it. Hail no, Rex.

Today on Tommy T’s Obsession with the Freeperati – stupid hysterical women edition

Good morning, all – you already know about right-wing nutcases and their love/hate relationships with women. They hate to love them, and love to hate them.

This Obsession deals with the Freeperati and their desires for women to get back in the kitchen and make them a goddamn sammich. First up?

Ivanka climaxes!!

Eyeing climate role, Ivanka Trump to meet with Al Gore

Eyeing climate role, Ivanka Trump to meet with Al Gore
The Hill ^ | 12/05/2016 | Jonathan Swan

Posted on ‎12‎/‎5‎/‎2016‎ ‎10‎:‎41‎:‎05‎ ‎AM by GIdget2004

Ivanka Trump is meeting Monday with climate change activist and former Vice President Al Gore.

The president-elect’s daughter, who reportedly wants to make global warming one of her signature issues, will meet with Gore at Trump Tower in Manhattan, according to transition spokesman Jason Miller.

The former vice president will not be meeting with the president-elect, Miller said in a conference call with reporters on Monday morning. He would not elaborate on the contents of the meeting.

1 posted on 12‎/‎5‎/‎2016‎ ‎10‎:‎41‎:‎05‎ ‎AM by GIdget2004
Freepers? You were all in lust with her and so happy she was running things for (insert The Darnold nickname of your choice here) – how about now?
To: GIdget2004

I don’t like the sound of any of this.

2 posted on ‎12‎/‎5‎/‎2016‎ ‎10‎:‎41‎:‎39‎ ‎AM by Senator Goldwater

gotabadfeeling
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Meh – what’s the worst that could happen?
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To: GIdget2004

Careful, my thread on this got pulled!

4 posted on 12‎/‎5‎/‎2016‎ ‎10‎:‎42‎:‎22‎ ‎AM by MadIsh32 (In order to be pro-market, sometimes you must be anti-big business)

Heh.
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To: Senator Goldwater

She has been trouble all along.

I know we hear how bright and impressive she is, but I only see and hear a typical, privileged, NYC airhead.

7 posted on 12‎/‎5‎/‎2016‎ ‎10‎:‎44‎:‎09‎ ‎AM by 9YearLurker

Dang woman needs to learn her place!
To: GIdget2004

Donald, you need to get Ivy in check.

9 posted on 12‎/‎5‎/‎2016‎ ‎10‎:‎44‎:‎33‎ ‎AM by rktman (Enlisted in the Navy in ’67 to protect folks rights to strip my rights. WTH?!)

ivankabound
To: GIdget2004

Please don’t include “climatic” and “Ivanka” in the same sentence. I’m seventy. 😉

16 posted on ‎12‎/‎5‎/‎2016‎ ‎10‎:‎47‎:‎26‎ ‎AM by DCPatriot (“It aint what you don’t know that kills you. It’s what you know that aint so” Theodore Sturgeon))

eew
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One Freeper takes the new irony meter out for a spin…
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To: GIdget2004

:: The president-elect’s daughter, who reportedly wants to make global warming one of her signature issues ::

Fake News

18 posted on ‎12‎/‎5‎/‎2016‎ ‎10‎:‎48‎:‎20‎ ‎AM by Cletus.D.Yokel (Catastrophic, Anthropogenic Climate Alterations: The acronym explains the science.)

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And runs it into a tree…
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Love your handle, BTW.
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Hope – quickly dashed:
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To: MNJohnnie

Washington Times has confirmed this sad to say

46 posted on 12‎/‎5‎/‎2016‎ ‎10‎:‎56‎:‎11‎ ‎AM by wardaddy (trump is a great tourniquet but that’s all folks…….)

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Next up – bargaining!
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More after the “read more”…

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It Hurts to Take the Story Apart. Do It Anyway.

There’s a story we’ve been telling ourselves for a long time now, about how democracy works, about how it has to work in order for us all to get up in the morning. It involves how campaigns operate, how elections take place, how power is handed from one person to another and what is done with that power and to whom.

The story’s called America. It’s a few years old now. Maybe you’ve heard it: We are free, and we choose who leads us, and we have chance after chance to make things better. We’re in charge, you and me, for good and ill and sometimes both together.

It’s always been partly fiction. In our finest hours it’s always been a little frayed. But we’ve been able to tell ourselves the story while it’s still more knit than mend.

Can we do that right now?

The Russian state took an interest in our elections and tried to influence them. To what extent, with what effect, and for what purpose, those in power know and aren’t saying.

And over the past couple of days during discussion of that, and discussion of the popular vote imbalance, and discussion of voter suppression in formerly swing states, I’ve been hearing lots of variations on IT’S TOO HARD AND OMG MEEN. That political blowback would be intense for anyone who said hey, hold on, let’s figure this shit out. That we don’t have time between now and the inauguration (I guess there are too many Christmas parties?) and can’t we just put our heads down and power through this?

The vast majority of the GOP, of course, is hedging its bets as they have been since the primaries ended. Maybe this will all die down and they can get back to gutting the social safety net which is what they’re really here for. Maybe Donald Trump will just fuck up normally, like Dan Quayle or something, accidentally hit on a few prime ministers’ wives, do some blow in the Oval, and leave the hard work to them. That was their overarching rationale for endorsing his skeezy ass and they are desperately clinging to it.

It’s gross, of course, like a 15-year-old who still wants to bring his blankie to school, but we always underestimate how attached people are to their security objects.

But Obama and the Democrats? The purported grownups in the GOP in Congress and statehouses who either actively avoided mentioning Trump or flat-out said he was garbage? Those people? I don’t want to hear from THEM how difficult it is to take the story of America apart and put it back together again.

I don’t want to hear about concerns that they’d be perceived as helping Hillary, or that TV commentators would say things in that deep concerned voice they affect, or that frogs would yell shit online. THOSE AREN’T REAL CONSEQUENCES for people who are elected to do a job.

They aren’t elected to serve just to rename official state animals and pass continuing resolutions to hold up how much everything sucks right now. They are elected to fix what is broken even if that something is EVERYTHING.

Things have been breaking down for a while now. Redistricting to weight state legislatures overwhelmingly against Democrats and third parties, ballot initiatives designed to turn out opponents of one candidate or another, tax caps and institutional neglect and voting restrictions, and all of it leading to a campaign in which one candidate won the popular vote by 2.6 million and the other candidate — a racist sex predator — is president.

Things have been breaking down and politicians have been desperately pretending they are okay because, frankly, taking all this apart is hard. It takes time. It takes study and most of all it takes attention we don’t have because the decent public servants are trying to keep their constituents out of hock to the mob.

Which is a deliberate thing also, in case we didn’t have enough to deal with. I get ragey when modern American voters are described as being distracted by TV and video games; the club of the most of us is distracted by the trivial need to EAT, and I can’t imagine the calls district offices get asking for help with the few social programs we have left.

Still. Still and all. There have to be things big enough that we make room for them. The question of foreign interference in an election has got to be one of those things.

Winter breaks can be cancelled. Everybody can work late. We can stop talking about Twitter and we can take out a yellow legal pad and a box of black pens and a box of red pens and we can figure out how to investigate this and, if necessary, prosecute it. It’s not false and it’s not trivial and it’s certainly not too much for us.

We’ve built bigger than this. We can tear this down. We can take this story apart and figure out which parts are true and which are false.

Sack up, hos. Get to work.

A.

The Fog Of History: Taiwan On

time china-1time china-2

It turns out that the phone call from the President of Taiwan to the Insult Comedian was a deliberate-as opposed to accidental-fuck up. The Trumpers want to be disruptive and shake things up. That’s how they’d characterize it. I’d call it dick waving or undiplomatic diplomacy. One thing we’ve learned from this episode is that the Trumpers plan to export their penchant for impulsive, poorly thought-out gambits to the world scene. Heaven help us; make that son of heaven since we’re talking about China policy.

I’ve seen some on the right argue that United States China policy makes no sense. The whole “One China and Taiwan is part of it” has been policy since the Nixon to China days. It’s a way to finesse Taiwanese independence without unduly pissing off the Kleptocrats who run China in Communist drag. I agree that it makes no logical sense.

Here’s the deal: American China policy has never made sense. In the late 19th and early 20th Century, we posed as benevolent benefactors trying to “Christianize” China whilst exploiting the hell out of it. Then we mindlessly supported Chiang Kai-shek and his Kuomintang government until they fled the mainland to Taiwan in 1949. After the advent of “Red China,” we allowed the China Lobby personified by Time-Life’s Henry Luce, to control Chinese policy from 1949-1972. In that era, we pretended that Mao’s China did not exist and that tiny Taiwan was the true Republic of China. Repeat after me: American China policy has never made sense.

One reason that Tricky Dick was able to do the Nixon to China thing was that Henry Luce died in 1967. Luce’s parents were Presbyterian missionaries. He was born in China and lived there until he was 15 years old. Luce was the most important GOP press baron for decades. He was convinced that Chiang was the Chinese George Washington and that Mao was Satan. Neither was true but Luce dominated US China Policy for many years. He was also the dominant force in the Dewey-Eisenhower-Nixon internationalist Eastern establishment wing of the GOP. A wing that is well and truly extinct. Poppy Bush was its last gasp.

The current “One China” policy is a way to keep the peace between the PRC and Taiwan. In the late 1950’s hostilities nearly broke out. It was even a hot issue during the 1960 Presidential campaign: Nixon and Kennedy spent time discussing Quemoy and Matsu, which were flashpoints in the 1958 crisis.  I bet most of you have never heard of Quemoy and Matsu. Why? Because of the “One China” policy. It makes no sense but it’s kept the peace. That’s what really matters.

There’s a certain irony that a man who rarely makes sense about anything has allowed ambitious staffers to shake things up in an area of the world that’s relatively stable right now. The idiomatic expression “bull in a china shop” applies here;  both literally and figuratively.

  1. an awkward or clumsy person.
  2. an inconsiderate or tactless person.
  3. a troublemaker; dangerous person.

That’s Donald Trump in a wingnut shell. Stirring things up between China and Taiwan can only cause trouble. It will not lead to an American China policy that makes sense. It never has and likely never will. I’ll take polite fictions or diplomatic niceties over macho posturing any day.

Since I opened the post with Time Magazine covers featuring Chiang Kai-shek, I’ll let the post-Luce Time have the last word, uh, cover:

1101720306_400

 

Malaka Of The Week: Konni Burton

A lot of things have fallen through the cracks of my mind lately because of the electoral college disaster. There’s a backlash brewing across the country against the progress that has been made on civil rights issues in recent years. To be more specific, against the remarkable gains made since 2008 on LGBTQ issues. One might even call it a lavender backlash. Yeah, I know, the term is retro but so is the backlash itself. You won’t be surprised to hear that one locus of the backlash is Texas. And that is why Texas State Senator Konni Burton is malaka of the week.

I was blissfully unaware of what was brewing in Austin until a tweet from Tim Peacock hit my timeline, which led me to a post at his blog, Peacock Panache:

As the state legislative session in Texas begins, state Senator Konni Burton (R) just filed legislation that would force schools to out LGBTQ students to their parents. SB242 takes aim at “the right of a child ’s parent to public school records and information concerning the child” on the surface. Under that veneer, however, Burton’s explicit intentions in filing the legislation are clear.

The bill was filed with the intention of subverting rules proposed by the Fort Worth Independent School District aimed at protecting the privacy rights of LGBTQ teens, especially transgender kids. It’s trickier than that so take a deeper dive into Tim Peacock’s piece.

Senator Burton claims that the intent of her bill is to provide parents with information about their children. It is, of course, a smokescreen (Konni job?) as is typical of so much discriminatory legislation. Haters not only have to hate, they have to hide behind family values rhetoric. Burton’s bill will effectively out LBGTQ students and that is what matters, not her increasingly strident disclaimers.

The implications of Malaka Konni’s bill are ominous and clearly stated by Tim Peacock:

As any LGBTQ person can confirm, keeping sexual orientation and gender identity/expression a secret from parents may literally be a matter of life or death. While society has made significant leaps forward in ensuring families with LGBTQ children are at a minimum tolerant, many areas of the and many belief systems still view being LGBTQ as wrong or criminal. Unwittingly outing a LGBTQ child or teenager to his or her parents can have devastating and sometimes lethal consequences.

If a student is transgender the chances of harm based on outing grow exponentially. A 2011 survey found that transgender people attempted to commit suicide at rates over 30 times the general population. And the causation behind that more often than not was discrimination, violence and/or rejection by those close to them.

While suicide is at the far end of the spectrum, LGBTQ students face a myriad of other consequence in having their identities unwittingly exposed to their parents including verbal and physical abuse, homelessness (after being kicked out) and involuntary conversation therapy (a practice condemned by the medical and psychological community though it’s still popular among anti-LGBTQ conservatives).

A quick reminder that Mike Liar Liar Pence On Fire has been a leading advocate of conversion therapy.

I recall reading some articles earlier this year about how our side had won the culture war. Since I live in a blue dot in a deep red state, I’m always skeptical of such claims. In the Gret Stet of Louisiana, socially conservative Catholics have an unholy alliance on such issues with Protestant biblethumpers. Like the people in Texas, we’re always on the lookout for crazy, retrograde legislation from our lege. It’s going to get worse after Trump’s electoral college victory. I eagerly await the backlash to the backlash. Now I’m feeling whiplashed, he said snidely.

I’d never heard of Senator Burton before her attempted Konni job. I hope to rarely hear of her in the future. If the people of Texas are lucky, she’s merely a malakatudinous comet streaking across the sky before crashing and burning. BTW, Burton was elected to replace Wendy Davis in the Texas Senate. That seat has gone from pink sneakers to lavender backlash in two years. And that is why Konni Burton is malaka of the week.

No One’s Coming

One more time, because I keep saying this, because nobody’s hearing it:

People who should KNOW BETTER keep asking when the noble heroes who surely, SURELY must lurk among the GOP will rise up and restrain the madman they nominated for president, reassert Genuine Strong Daddy Party authority, and return us to the glory days of polite racism and understated economic violence.

And … I get it, okay? This is in fact the GOP’s mess. They chained this feral critter in their basement and fed it rotten meat and lies about Islamo-fascism for 15 years, beat it occasionally, and now they’ve let it out of its cage and it’s mauling the wedding guests. We shouldn’t have to tranq it for them. They should clean this up. Guess what? THEY’RE NOT GOING TO.

These are people, okay? Human beings. Maybe you’ve met some of them in your travels. They like cold beer and warm beds and chocolate covered pretzels. They ain’t complicated. They tend to act in ways that will benefit them.

They sucked up to George W. Bush when he was a powerful War President and they ran away from him when his numbers tanked, because those were the actions that resulted in them either holding onto the power they had or increasing that power. These same jackholes spent eight years demonizing a pretty harmless middle-of-the-road upper manager for the crime of trying to give people health insurance, because that kind of behavior made them look sexy to the people who voted in the midterms.

Those that didn’t look to their base? That said maybe we could work with Obama, or not be gratuitously nasty to women and poor people, or at least try to read the Constitution now and again and confirm a judge once in a while? They wound up NOT HERE ANYMORE, because the Tea Party primaried them out of existence and replaced them with the likes of Marco Rubio and Ted Cruz. (Who, lest we forget, make Donald Trump look like Winston Churchill, albeit after his six afternoon highballs.)

So what was the lesson there? Hold onto whatever you’ve got, however you have to, and during this past election that’s exactly what they did. They endorsed and un-endorsed and re-endorsed depending on the pussy-grab of the day, and they suffered exactly no consequences for their dithering. Why would they abandon that dithering now, take a stand for which they could be attacked, and … potentially save the Republic? What is in it for them?

All the aforementioned is not, by the way, a knock on the GOP or the creatures that inhabit it. It’s not good or bad so much as it’s average. You and I both do stuff because we’ll be rewarded for it. This is basic human shit, and I’m not annoyed at the GOP’s fascists and fools for being exactly what they need to be.

I AM righteously cheesed off I have to keep explaining basic human shit to people who want fairy tales so they can let themselves off the hook. Nobody within the GOP is going to stand up and tell Trump to get fucked. Our elite institutions are busy finding new euphemisms for “white power” lest they seem too brave or something. There is no way around doing this ourselves, every one. It’s annoying. Like I said, this is their mess.

But it’s our country.

A.

Abandon All Hope of Trump’s Improvement

Peggy Noonan still thinks someone is coming to save her: 

The press does not believe, not for a second, and Democrats do not believe, not for a second, that Mr. Trump will be able to change the habits of a lifetime. They are relying on it.

Mr. Trump shocked them by winning. He should shock them now with rectitude.

HE’S NOT GOING TO DO THAT. God, everyone with a functioning keyboard told you a hundred thousand times he was like this, and HE told you he was like this, and you said over and over that maybe he wasn’t going to be like this, and you’re still counting on salvation from above?

Grow the fuck up, Pegs, there is no Easter Bunny. I know it hurts your head to think filthy hippies might have a point here, but the pivot’s not coming.

I keep reading these stories: 

What happens next to the American republic will depend on whether Trump chooses to abide by, or can be restrained within, legal and bureaucratic limits—or whether his fellow partisans, seeking their own immediate political objectives, instead empower and enable him.

Yeah, this is in doubt. Whether the Republican establishment is going to restrain Trump.

The same Republican establishment that threw everything it had at him during the primaries and barely mussed his stupid muppet fur.

The same Republican establishment that spent the general election dithering and hedging and trying to figure out how to kiss HALF of Trump’s ass, in case this whole thing went south or in case it didn’t.

The same Republican establishment that was so enamored of small-d democratic principles that it shut down the government in protest of giving people health care? That spent eight years screaming about seekrit Muslims and gay marriage and refusing to confirm a goddamn Supreme Court nominee?

That’s the institution you’re thinking is going to grow a pair? That’s what you’re counting on? You might as well be praying to the Tooth Fairy. It would be just as effective and slightly less embarrassing.

Just stop it.

Nobody’s coming to save us from Trump.

Not the politicians who are trying to figure out how to cooperate with him while still yelling at him enough to make money. Not the news hairdos already running stories about what the Trump family Thanksgiving looked like. Not the electoral college or Jill Stein’s recount or Hillary contesting the results of the election.

Certainly not the Republican party which faced so few consequences for nominating a SERIAL SEX PREDATOR that they won the entire White House and larger majorities in Congress.

Why should they save the country from Trump? Why are we asking them to do what is not in their interest?

I said it right after the election and I’ll keep saying it: All we do now is save as many as we can. Keep giving me your suggestions for how we do that because that’s all that’s important now.

Nobody’s coming to save us. Certainly not from the GOP side of the aisle.

A.

Love at First Spite or, An Offer to Trump Supporters in the Spirit of the Season

In the spirit of the holidays, I have a proposition for our Trump-supporting friends.

Go ahead.

Say it.

Say, “Fuck you.” Say it to my face.

Say it to my liberal, city-dwelling, higher-educated, Democratic-Party-voting, Starbucks-swilling, Whole-Foods-shopping, Heather-Has-Two-Mommies-reading face.

Say it morning, noon and night.

Say it as often as you want. As loud as you want. Say it in front of my husband, my daughter, and all my friends. Say it over and over and over again.

Get it out of your system. So that the rest of us can GO BACK TO WORK.

That’s my present. That’s my gift to you, Trump supporters. That’s my extension of empathy and generosity and understanding, based on everything I’ve heard and everything I’ve read about you since the election.

You see, I understand you have been left behind by the economy. I understand you have been struggling for a while, even before the dot-com boom and bust, before the 2008 crash, before the anemic “recovery” that didn’t help you recover from anything.

But I understand something else, too.

The very smart Kathy Cramer, who I’m proud to have briefly shared an office with at one time, explained it for people who, unlike me, didn’t grow up next door to you: 

Racism is certainly a part of the story when these people make calculations about deservingness and who is or is not working hard. People would talk about opposing social programs because the recipients were lazy and not hardworking like themselves; those were often dog-whistle racist claims. But, at times, they were also talking about the laziness of desk-job white professionals like me.

So racism is a part of this resentment, but we are failing to fully understand these perspectives when we assume that racism is more fundamental than calculations of injustice. The two elements are intertwined. The way these folks described the world to me, their basic concern was that people like them, in places like theirs, were overlooked and disrespected. They were doing what they perceived good Americans ought to do to have the good life. And the good life seemed to be passing them by.

It’s worth noticing that Trump’s appeal to these folks is not about facts or particular policies. It is instead the act of delivering a message that resoundingly resonates with the perspective of someone identifying proudly as a resident of a type of place that the dominant urban society does not care about or respect.

I can’t do much about the location of the state capitals or the legislative schedule. I can’t make people’s representatives listen to them or interact with them, nor can I make people show up to the community meetings their reps might have. I can’t make anyone feel more comfortable in his or her skin any more than I can give anybody a job right now.

But maybe I can do something about the deep, abiding, burning need to tell someone who exemplifies what you hate to go straight to hell.

You want to prove you’re an underdog who tells the libtards who don’t respect you to go straight to hell, people?

You want to give the middle finger to everything that bugs you, including Happy Holidays at Macy’s, someone speaking Spanish on her cell phone at the restaurant, an ethnic scholarship at your high school, a gay storyline in your favorite police procedural?

Do it.

Make that stupid Hillary “KFC” joke ten times. Tell me the story about Michelle Obama putting crack pipes on the Christmas tree at the White House. Talk about how Bill Clinton is the biggest sex offender the world has ever known. Offer your opinion that “we” have “banned” God from “the schools.”

Ooh, call me a babykiller. That one never gets old.

Send me a hundred memes just like this one:

trumpsantajesus

I’ll post them on my Facebook timeline. I’ll nod and agree with anything you say. I’ll feel very, very bad about myself and everything I stand for. I may even cry, if that’s what it takes.

 

I am more than willing to take one for the team.

If.

IF.

In exchange, you vote for health insurance for your sick neighbors. You expand Medicaid for your state’s poorest residents. You don’t fight about food stamps and subsidized housing, in fact, you support them.

In exchange, you vote for punishment for companies that poison your water. You support jury awards of damages for corporations convicted of harm to the environment and the people who live in it.

In exchange, you vote for lowering the Social Security retirement age. You vote for increased funding for public education. You vote for restoring the Voting Rights Act and you vote for expanding it to every state in the union: No one gets to fuck with anyone’s vote without review or check.

You vote for honest-to-God campaign finance reform, and consideration of judicial appointees in a timely manner so that the fucking courts can do their job.

You vote for all that shit, and you can tell me to my face that I’m a lazy liberal who doesn’t understand the real world, and I will agree with you.

You make your life better, you make my life better, you make our country better, and you GET WHAT YOU WANT MORE THAN ANYTHING, which is to say fuck you.

I mean it. I’m sick of people I love suffering because you want to make a statement. Because you want to have feelings about your place in the world. Because deep down you get mad and sad that you are not being given a parade for showing up every day. Because you resent.

I’m offering you a way out. Go ahead.

Take it.

A.

 

“Obsession” special – This is NOT who we are.

Why we have to keep fighting :

To: MaxistheBest

 

We may as well quit voting and just ask the damn spades and wetbacks who is going to be king and how much of our money they want.

1,362 posted on 11/8/2016, 7:14:47 PM by Sequoyah101 (It feels like we have exchanged our dreams for survival. We just have a few days that don’t suck.)

And that’s all you need to know about Republicans.

Taking a week off – see you good people soon.

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Today on Tommy T’s Obsession with the Freeperati – final countdown edition

Well, folks – we have a short Obsession this week, and mostly older stuff. Why? Because over at Freeperville, there’s just nothing there except “Comey-on-a my house”.

Around 150 threads of it.

What the Freepers fail to take into account here is :

a.  People who are going to vote for Hillary are not going to be swayed by this burger of nothing, and will, in fact be even more motivated to get out and vote. People who were going to vote for Trump are still going to vote for Trump, and you don’t get any more votes for pushing the button harder.

b.  The Repubs have been screaming EMAILZ   “WOLF!!!1!” at the top of their lungs for 10 years now, which kinda blunts the message by repetition. If you hear something too many times, it just becomes gobble gobble gobble gobble.

Or, as a stand-up guy once put it:

“Dig: if President Kennedy would just go on television, and say, “I would like to introduce you to all the niggers in my cabinet,” and if he’d just say “nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger” to every nigger he saw, “boogie boogie boogie boogie boogie,” “nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger” ’til nigger didn’t mean anything anymore, then you could never make some six-year-old black kid cry because somebody called him a nigger at school.”

Anyway, let’s get right to the  Sore Bomba  Voter Fraud!

BOMBSHELL VIDEO: Trump Was Right! Watch This Voting Machine Switch Its Vote…
http://www.libertywritersnews.com/2016/10/bombshell-video-watch-voting-machine-switch-vote/?utm_content=bufferf2409&utm_medium=social&utm_source=facebook.com&utm_campaign=buffer ^ | 10=26=2016

Posted on ‎10‎/‎26‎/‎2016‎ ‎9‎:‎35‎:‎18‎ ‎PM by UMCRevMom@aol.com

We all knew that the voting machines are rigged Here is the video proof.

VIDEO

Trump was right. Where is the New York Times? Where is the Washington Post? Where are our esteemed reporters? There are citizens doing your job.

Like this citizen below, y’all. The on in the video, y’all. Here is an alleged video of an election machine switching votes in the swing state of Virginia.

You have literally watched corruption take place.

[VIDEO]

Watch that video above. That is a computer programmer in Florida that testified before a congressional panel that there are computer programs that can secretly fix elections. This happened in 2001, but you would have never seen this on the mainstream media.

*** Share this everywhere!

Document everything at the polls. We need to be able to fight the rigging. God bless all the Trump voters and share this post if you are voting Trump on Nov. 8th.

Together we can make America great again.

1 posted on 10‎/‎26‎/‎2016‎ ‎9‎:‎35‎:‎18‎ ‎PM by UMCRevMom@aol.com
Of course you can.
To: UMCRevMom@aol.com
Calm down a bit… this was a previous election.
Scott Rigel was Congress 2nd District (Virginia Beach, VA). He is not running this year. He also is a turncoat Republican who has come out against Trump and changed his affiliation to Independent. The candidate taking his place is a former Navy Seal that is pro-Trump.
Don’t get baited into looking like an alarmist –

ThatShipHasSailed

 

be calm and double check dates and locations before you start to ring the bell…

4 posted on 10‎/‎26‎/‎2016‎ ‎9‎:‎40‎:‎01‎ ‎PM by monkeypants (It’s a Republic, if you can keep it.)

To: UMCRevMom@aol.com

 

Video is over a year old from a different election.

6 posted on 10‎/‎26‎/‎2016‎ ‎9‎:‎56‎:‎03‎ ‎PM by R_Kangel ( “A Nation of Sheep ….. Will Beget ….. a Nation Ruled by Wolves.”)

To: UMCRevMom@aol.com
How many times is this gonna get posted? THE VIDEO OF THE MACHINE SWITCHING VOTES IS FROM 2014.
7 posted on ‎10‎/‎26‎/‎2016‎ ‎9‎:‎56‎:‎55‎ ‎PM by Mad Dawgg (If you’re going to deny my 1st Amendment rights then I must proceed to the 2nd one…)
Don’t be so mean to poor old UMCRevMom.  The poor dear is still using an AOL account, fer chrissakes.
To: UMCRevMom@aol.com

 

I hate to say it but this video which has been posted multiple times is probably a hoax. Ask yourself why the right hand of the screen is cut off? And then ask yourself where is the guys right hand?

8 posted on 10‎/‎26‎/‎2016‎ ‎10‎:‎00‎:‎11‎ ‎PM by Revel

(waves hand wildly)  Oh! I know! I know!  Spinning the fucking selection wheel!!
.
What did I win?
To: UMCRevMom@aol.com; Admin Moderator

 

You’ve posted this before. It was pulled due to being from 2014. And you now post it again.

16 posted on 10‎/‎27‎/‎2016‎ ‎2‎:‎20‎:‎46‎ ‎AM by SauronOfMordor (Socialists want YOUR wealth redistributed, never THEIRS!)

After a few more of these, the OP issues an apology:
To: SauronOfMordor

 

I was unaware this information had been verified as fraudulent or posted and pulled. If voter equipment is NOT malfunctioning GREAT!

The potential for voter fraud this election concerns me greatly. I have read reports that voting machines are recasting ballots from Trump to Clinton. Perhaps, the fraud of previous elections will reoccur in 2016 recasting relevance of this thread? i.e.

“As Americans, we want our elections to be fair and transparent. We want to know that when a candidate gets most of the votes, she, he, or they are the person who will be take office. It would hurt us to our core if our right to choose the ones that represent us were violated.

With this in mind, are the outcomes of the 2016 Democratic Party nomination contest completely legitimate? A number of anecdotal and journalistic accounts suggest that this is not the case.

(snip four paragraphs of word salad about some jackoff in the Netherlands)

However, Mea culpa if I have given any offense.17 posted on 10‎/‎27‎/‎2016‎ ‎5‎:‎40‎:‎05‎ ‎AM by UMCRevMom@aol.com

trumpnonapology
Some moldy oldies after the thingy…
.

Continue reading

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Stay Classy, Senator Kirk

Kirk lied

Screenshot via Daily Kos.

Illinois Republican Senator Mark Kirk is staring defeat in the eye. Everyone knows he’s going to lose his seat to Democratic Rep. Tammy Duckworth. Instead of leaving office with some dignity, Kirk aimed a low blow at his opponent’s ancestry during a debate last night.

It started when Ms. Duckworth discussed her family’s service to our country:

“My family has served this nation in uniform going back to the Revolution. I’m a daughter of the American Revolution. I’ve bled for this nation. But I still want to be there in the Senate when the drums of war sound, because people are quick to sound the drums of war and I want to be there to say this is what it costs and this is what you’re asking us to do.”

Once she finished her answer, Kirk responded, “I forgot that your parents came all the way from Thailand to serve George Washington.”

For the record, Duckworth’s mother is a Thai immigrant and her late father served in the U.S. Marine Corps and he’s the one with ancestry going back to the Revolution.

I think Kirk should be boiled in fish sauce, then slathered with Thai curry paste, and served at a DAR banquet. Fuck you, Senator. Whatever happened to going out in style? Oh well, at least he didn’t try playing wheelchair-to-wheelchair bumper car with his opponent. I suspect she’d win at that too: she’s a bona fide war hero whereas Kirk lied about his military record hence the featured image at the top of the post. That sort of lie harshes your karma, man.

The bad karma will catch up with Mark Kirk on election day. No curry for you, Senator. I seem to have curry on my mind this week. Speaking of karma, I wish there was a George Harrison tune that was as perfect for this post as My Sweet Lord was for Hare Donald. This Warren Zevon song will have to do:

 

The Other Joe Walsh’s Musket Love

It’s weird out there this election season. Yeah, y’all already knew that but humor me. I’ll get to the point directly. Former Congresscritter and professional asshole, the Other Joe Walsh tweeted his way back into the limelight yesterday:

His call for his fellow teabaggers to be revolting, I mean revolt, caused instant condemnation. Here’s my rather Athenae-like instant analysis:

The Other Joe followed up this morning with more musket love:

I love how Walsh and his ilk know nothing about history. Thomas Jefferson was an aristocrat who was all talk when it came to violence. He wouldn’t even have had the help do any musket grabbing since he owned the help. Besides, I think Jefferson, as a genuine albeit flawed civil libertarian, might hold different views on marriage equality if he were alive. He *was* known to be tolerant of gays during his lifetime. That’s right, Other Joe: there were gay people in the 18th Century too. Put that in your oven and bake it.

I got sidetracked by the follow-up tirade. Our longtime readers are used to that by now. The original musket love tweet gave me an earworm. A painful one at that: Muskrat Love by the Captain & Tennille. A hit song so bad that I refuse to get embed with it even though musket is an excellent pun on muskrat. Wait a minute, I saw a version with a weird featured image so I changed my mind but the puns stay.

Sorry about that, it’s the only way to expel an earworm: share the fucker. The stuffed muskrats were kinda cute though.

The Other Joe Walsh isn’t the only Trumper talking “revolution” when-not if-Trump becomes the losingest loser who ever lost. Consider me skeptical: they’re conjuring up the spirit of 2010, not 1776. The Tea Party types talked a big game but, in the end, they were all hat and no cattle. The cattle stampeded because the Teabaggers talked too loudly of death squads. Who wants to be a steak before one’s time?

I think most Trumpers will turn on their candidate when-not if-he loses. It’s what usually happens. There was a lot of brave talk in 1964 during the Goldwater campaign about revolting against a man they could have called Crooked Lyndon. Most of Goldwater’s supporters went on with their lives, others organized, nobody staged a violent revolution. There was no Tilden uprising after the 1876 squeaker was actually stolen. I am, however, concerned about random acts of gun nuttery but that’s a far cry from this apocalyptic Trumper nonsense: 

Jared Halbrook, 25, of Green Bay, Wis., said that if Mr. Trump lost to Hillary Clinton, which he worried would happen through a stolen election, it could lead to “another Revolutionary War.”

“People are going to march on the capitols,” said Mr. Halbrook, who works at a call center. “They’re going to do whatever needs to be done to get her out of office, because she does not belong there.”

Or this:

“It’s not what I’m going to do, but I’m scared that the country is going to go into a riot,” said Roger Pillath, 75, a retired teacher from Coleman, Wis. “I’ve never seen the country so divided, just black and white — there’s no compromise whatsoever. The Clinton campaign says together we are stronger, but there’s no together. The country has never been so divided. I’m looking at revolution right now.”

Excuse me, Mr. Teacherman. Remember a small thing called the Civil War? Your home state of Wisconsin was on the winning side of that conflagration. I hope he’s not a retired history or poli sci teacher. Schmuck.

Repeat after me: Americans hate losers and that’s what Trump will be the day after the election. Our job as citizens is to make sure he loses bigly. Believe me.

Grab your muskrat. You in?