Monthly Archives: May 2008

Sunday Hockey Post: Boys, Boys, Boys

ZOMG freshman.

So the poster for this year’s team shows a few of the players with the headline: They Trust One Another. They Care for One Another. They Play for One Another.

(And by night they fight crime!

Hockey superheroes!)

Game ramblings within.

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Saturday Blogwhoring Thread


What useful lessons do you have to teach the class today?


Crazy as a Monkey House Shit-Fight

Another fucking deep thinker from the anti-woman/War on Fucking crowd.

Holy shit. I was in the car yesterday, taking care of some errands and such. When driving, I occasionally listen to Crazy Christian Radio. I know, I know. I need professional help.

At any rate, ona show called “Crosstalk” (Warning! Crazy Christian link! Oh, and get it? Crosstalk? har har) yesterday, I got to hear one Mark Crutcher, a bed-shittingly insane anti-woman activist. If you’re so inclined, you can find links to his crazy online shitshow (Life Dynamics) from the “Crosstalk” link. Now, obviously, most of the War on Fucking/War on Women douchebags are swimming in the shallow end of the gene pool. But this guy? See the title to this post. That’s as crazy as I know how to describe, and he was even nuttier than that.

During his rants, he got around to saying why electing Senator Obama or Senator Clinton would be a bad idea. He didn’t mention “activist judges,” surprisingly enough. No.

What he railed against was, and I shit you not, universal health care.



Now why, you might ask, does universal health care (or, as Crazy McPants-shitter put it, “a socialized medicine system”) matter to an anti-woman asshole?

Well, you see, if we all share the costs of medical bills, then our tax dollars will pay for abortions (Attention, asshole: under Medicaid, they sometimes already do). That’s right. We’ll all be guilty parties in the abortion “holocaust.” Also, since there will be no direct out-of-pocket costs for doctor visits, he predicts that the abortion rate will, in his word, skyrocket. Except that, you know, even with our for-profit medical system, the abortion rate in the US is already higher than in other developed countries–those countries that have the demonic universal health care. 

You see that, Mr. Crutcher? It’s called “research,” and it took me all of 30 seconds with The Google.

So this fucker would deny access to health care to 50 million people (and affordable health care to millions more) because of his own Kwazy Kwusade. That sounds like something Christ might do, doesn’t it?

Now, I know that this graph does not and cannot show causality. However, if the free availability of “elective abortions” led to a jump in the instances and rates of abortion, don’t you think that, say, Canada would have a higher abortion rate than the US? 

Listening to this guy was terrifying and entertaining at the same time. He really, really believes, it seems, that pro-choice people want nothing more than to kill humans. He thinks that talk of reproductive freedom, women’s rights, health issues, and the like are just red herrings. He accuses Planned Parenthood of a massive, extremely profitable, and decades-long conspiracy to:

  1. Introduce value-free comprehensive sex education to
  2. Encourage people to have sex, then
  3. Get pregnant, and–here’s the Wile E. Coyote ingeniousness–
  4. Go to Planned Parenthood and pay for abortions

I swear to Jeebus, I am not making this up. He had the usual talk of “abortion mills” run by the “abortion industry,” set up just to murder “unborn children.” I was half tempted to call in and say something along the lines of: “Well golly, Mr. Crutcher, don’t you think it’s important that we rebuild our industrial base here in America? An abortion industry is still an industry.”

But I didn’t want to be directly responsible for the massive stroke that would have killed him. Criminal liability and all, you know.

Wow. I wish I had time to go over all of his craziness, but I think it overloaded my poor little heathen brain.

Wingnuts For The Fail

The Freepi froth over thisstory from the Daily Mail:

Washington is laid to waste. The Capitol is a blackened, smoking ruin. The White House has been razed. Countless thousands are dead.

This is the apocalyptic scene terrorists hope to create if they ever get their hands on a nuclear bomb.

The computer-generated image below was posted on an Islamic extremists’ website yesterday.

Most of the Freepi lose their minds:

And Obama wants to talk to this guys.

We should post similar pictures of Mecca, Tehran, Damascus, etc. And let them know that we don’t exactly care who does it, those cities will go down if it happens.

I just saved that image as: “The Democrats Dream”

One result will be both Mecca and a number of hard line Moslem capitols will become tourist attractions. These places will glow in the dark and inspire considerable thought.

Until one of them points out that, guys, it’s an image from avideo game:

What is the release date?
Fallout 3 will be available for PC, Xbox 360, and PLAYSTATION 3 in Fall 2008

How long has it been in development?
Since 2004.

Where does Fallout 3 take place?
In the Capitol Wasteland in and around Washington, DC.

Which does not deter the crazy in the slightest:

Wherever it comes from, it looks like Muslim Jihadists love the picture. It’s their dream come true.



Today On Holden’s Obsession With The Gaggle

TheWhite House Wants To Keep Little Scottie Out Of The Witness Chair

Q Congressman Wexler has called on Scott McClellan to testify before Congress, and Congressman Conyers says that he has directed his committee staff to reach out to Mr. McClellan to make arrangements for him to talk to the committee. Does the White House have any objection to this kind of conversation?

MS. PERINO: I checked on it for you. The White House Counsel’s Office takes these things when we have a formal request. We don’t have a formal request yet. When we get one, that’s when we look at the request, weigh it fully — as we do with all the others — and it’s just not a decision that we would make prior to getting a formal request.

Q Could the White House block him from testifying if he wanted to testify? Or how does that work?

MS. PERINO: Conceivably?

Q Yes.

MS. PERINO: Hypothetically — which I’m not supposed to answer hypotheticals — (laughter) — yes, I think so. The law would allow for that, but by saying that I’m not suggesting that that’s what would happen or not happen.

Three Shakespeares, No McClellans

Q Has President Bush read this — read McClellan’s book or does he have any intention to, to sort of find out what this is all about?

MS. PERINO: Well, he’s been regularly briefed. I think he’s read a lot of the articles about it, but I don’t anticipate — he may or may not read the book. I don’t know, we haven’t talked about that.

Q You haven’t bought it for him?


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Friday Ferretblogging: Was There Something You Needed, Or …


“… do you mind if we just go back to sleep?”


Have You Seen Me?

If seen, please contact the proper authorities.

What did happen to this dumb-ass three-level terror alert system, anyway?

Yes, I know that, technically, there are five levels, but if you never use two, then you effectively have a three-level system. 

We haven’t heard anything about this dipshittery since the last election cycle. Somehow, I think we may become reacquainted with this bad idea in the near future. Whaddya think?

Fischer-Price’s My First Ferret, or, How Athenae Learned To Love Chaos

I wanted a rabbit, first of all. I’d lived with someone who had one, delightful little fuzzball as playful as a cat and snuggly and friendly. So after Mr. Athenae and I moved into a pet-friendly apartment, I pushed for a bunny.

We went to a pet show, intending to look at bunnies. And as I headed toward the bunny table, I turned my head and noticed Mr. Athenae entranced by another booth, run by a ferret shelter. Somebody had handed him a little squirrel and he was letting it clamber all over him, looking delighted. A debate was born.

We went back and forth for months. Bunny. Ferret. Bunny. Ferret. Finally we visited the ferret rescue, where I held a ferret. It lay in my arms, peaceful as could be and twice as cute, and I thought, “This won’t be so bad. It’ll sit and watch TV with us. It’ll be fine.” More time passed. We wandered into a pet store and saw an older ferret that had been returned after the new owners didn’t like it. Mr. Athenae fell in love.

Now, I had no idea that the ferret I had petted at the shelter was old, blind and mostly athritic and couldn’t have run from me if he’d wanted to. So when we brought home a six month old, scratching, biting, clawing crack weasel who climbed the bookcases and shit under the couch and took flying leaps at our ankles, I was a little confused. Had we asked for a ferret and gotten a Tazmanian Devil instead? The poor little thing for the first few months of his life must have thought his name was “No no no no no bad ferret OUCH, dammit!”

We had bought books. We had looked at web sites. We were so ready, we were going to be such good parents. The books said that ferrets didn’t mind water. So we gave ours, who had been in a cage with five other ferrets for a month and smelled like five ferrets, a bath. Or rather, Mr. Athenae gave the ferret a bath as I was sick of being impaled on its fangs for the crimes of trying to pet it and trying to feed it.

What the books didn’t tell us is that ferrets have a body temperature of 104 degrees, and what felt to Mr. Athenae like a nice warm sudsy sink felt to the ferret like an ice bath, and this was the last straw for him with these crazy humans. I was sitting in the living room when I heard a screech, a crash, and a skittering noise, and down the hall flew a soapy little animal, skidding and sliding and squishing out of Mr. Athenae’s hands every time he got a hold on him, flinging suds everywhere, until he finally sought shelter underneath the TV cabinet and remained there for two hours, glaring at us.

About a week after that incident, I decided to try to make friends. Peanut butter, in incredibly small amounts, makes ferrets very happy. So I got the jar of peanut butter and sat on the couch, the ferret next to me. I opened up the jar and put a little peanut butter on my finger to give the ferret. He climbed into my lap (“how sweet! he finally wants to cuddle!”) and stuck his entire head into the jar. When he pulled it out, he was Peanut Butter Ferret from the neck up, happy as could be, and started rubbing his head all over me and the couch and licking up the tastiness.

He could move 15-pound barbells, placed in front of his cage door to prevent escape, with his walnut-sized head. He staged a jailbreak during The West Wing and dug his way inside the box spring, where he curled up and napped while we tore apart the stove, thinking he got in there somehow. He pulled the candy bar wrappers out of the garbage, licked off the chocolate and spent the night bouncing (literally) off the walls. When he slept, he tucked his tail over his head and turned himself into a little ball of fluff, and we forgot what a complete holy terror he was when he was awake. I spent three nights sitting up feeding him pureed meat and cream with an eyedropper when he got sick and refused to let Mr. Athenae touch him.

This past Wednesday morning, when I woke up not merely hung over but actually still drunk and pretty much wanting to die, he was sitting at the pet gate that keeps him in one room of the house while we sleep, and looking up at me expectantly. “I don’t care that the earth is caving in, lady,” his pointy little fuzzy face said. “The sun came up, I’m awake and I want my raisin. So hop to it!” It was, I think, the most comforting thing that happened all day.

Ferret info.


As Part of International Suck Week

I bring you today’s edition ofWhat Sadly, No said.

This comment particularly:

Their excuse is stupid. There’s not enough room for bloggers? Just give bloggers whatever seats are available, even if it’s just a desk number in a trailer outside the hall with CNN monitors, wifi, and AC. They should invite bloggers from around the world. Set up a Persian blog section, group the blogs by region, invite Colbert to visit the blogger ghetto. Hire some translators. Give’em all free samwitches and set up a giant tray of cocktail wieners. There’s room for hundreds of bloggers and it’s way cheaper press than any ad buy. Very limited space? That’s like saying “There’s not enough room on our e-mail list.” Oh, wait.

Stipulating that in the grand scheme of things this is pretty meta, handing out credentials to sites that do nothing but talk up your causes and raise you money would do a world of good for you and be mostly free, so what the fuck?

There’s also apparently a credentialing process for this so-called Big Tent, if you can believe THAT, so that’s one more hoop to jump through before knowing if it’s safe to buy airline tickets.


“Hogwash. Hogwash! HOGWASH”

That from theMcClatchey reporters who seem to have had it with Scottie, the Bushies and fellow so called journalists. And rightly so…

Second, we find it a wee bit preposterous — and we are being
diplomatic here — that a man who slavishly – no, robotically! —
defended President Bush’s policies in Iraq and elsewhere is trying to
“set the record straight” (and sell a few books) five years and more
after the invasion, with U.S. troops still bravely fighting and dying
to stabilize that country.

But the responses to McClellan from the Bush administration and
media bigwigs, history-bending as they are, compel us to jump in. As we
like to say around here, it’s truth to powertime, not just for the politicians but also for some folks in our own business.

It’s a must read

How Wrong is Bush?

Oyster answers that one…again and again and again and…

Conduct Unbecoming

Headdesk. (link fixed)

No word on the death penalty.

Or war.

Or the continued and obvious screwing of the meek, the poor, the powerless.

No word on whether it’s okay to take communion while you spew bigotry and call for the extermination of your political enemies.

No word on any of that.

But the widdle babies, we can get all gooshy over that without any ambiguity.

You know, it’s not like I don’t know my childhood church has problems. It’s not like I haven’t read about the Vatican and Hitler and all of that. It’s not like I think anything Benedict’s done so far is exactly a recruitment poster for Catholicism.

So I don’t know why I’m so fucking disappointed and angered every time something like this happens, every time they prove that Democratic sins are worse than Republican ones, that dictatorial thinking and pointless self-denial are still the rules of the day, and that some kind of Cosmic Just Say No is deemed to be enough in a church with theology so complicated you could study your whole life and never understand it all.

Except that I guess I still hope. And I still push. Just BE BETTER, God, Benedict, everybody. Just … be better than this shallow, unworthy tool you’ve become. Be more complicated than this. Be deeper, stronger, more able to grasp the complexity of the issues of the day here. Be able, for the love of your little plastic Jesus, to grasp that there are more powerful forces at work here than just a question of doctrine.

Act like grown-ups. God.




FALLUJAH, Iraq — At the western entrance to the Iraqi city of Fallujah Tuesday, Muamar Anad handed his residence badge to the U.S. Marines guarding the city. They checked to be sure that he was a city resident, and when they were done, Anad said, a Marine slipped a coin out of his pocket and put it in his hand.

Out of fear, he accepted it, Anad said. When he was inside the city, the college student said, he looked at one side of the coin. “Where will you spend eternity?” it asked.

He flipped it over, and on the other side it read, “For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life. John 3:16.”

“They are trying to convert us to Christianity,” said Anad, a Sunni Muslim like most residents of this city in Anbar province. At home, he told his story, and his relatives echoed their disapproval: They’d been given the coins, too, he said.

Today On Holden’s Obsession With The Gaggle

PutImpeachment Back On The Table

Q Dana, I wanted to ask you, I know you don’t want to go line-by-line with the whole book thing, the Scott McClellan book — but I’m thinking you may want to address this because there’s something out there. Not having the benefit of having the book in front of me, there’s an allegation apparently made by Scott in the book that a reporter shouted a question to the President, on a trip that Scott had been with him on, just as they were getting on Air Force One, and it was Valerie Plame-related. Basically, it prompted Scott to ask the President directly, “Were you the one who authorized the leaking of Valerie Plame’s name?” And the President apparently told Scott, “Yes, I was.”

MS. PERINO: I don’t know. Obviously I wasn’t there and — obviously I don’t know the context. I think the — it’s hard for me to say. I don’t have the book in front of me either and I don’t know.

But what I do know is that what we have said before, which is defending the President’s decision to go to war is something that we have done repeatedly, and the suggestion that the President had sent Joe Wilson to Africa was false. And so I don’t know if that was what it was in regards to or not, so I’m — I don’t know.

Q But I mean, if that’s an allegation that’s out there, that the President is supposedly responsible for the leaking of Valerie Plame’s name, is that something you want to —

MS. PERINO: I don’t think that’s what Scott says in the book and I think that everyone should go back and look at it a little bit more carefully. I don’t think that’s what he says.

Q Can you comment more generally about whether the President has ever authorized the leaking of classified information?

MS. PERINO: I’m not aware of that, no. And I also know that President Bush would never ask anyone to knowingly go out and lie. But do we defend the President’s record vigorously? Yes, you bet we do. And I think — parts of the book that suggest that there was propaganda or — you know, I just don’t know how substantiated that is in the book. I would ask to — you know, where, when, how, specifically? What are you talking about, were there charts, were there et cetera that you thought were lies? And I don’t think that he’s saying that either. So I just question the accounts.

Dana Don’t Know!

Q On the two congressional fundraisers on this trip, was it the White House’s decision or the candidate’s decisions for them to be closed? Do you know?

MS. PERINO: I don’t know.

Dana Calls The Governor of New York An “Activist Judge”

Q Do you have anything on the Governor of New York’s decision to recognize gay marriages from other states?

MS. PERINO: I saw a brief report about it. I don’t know a lot about the decision. I think that I would go back to that the President believes that we should try to make this decision based on a nationwide agreement for the what the definition of a marriage should be, and that activist judges and different states trying to impose something of that importance on the rest of the nation is to be looked at skeptically.

Q Is there any particular concern, though, about the legal implications of states beginning to recognize other states’ rights, in other words?

MS. PERINO: Yes, I’m sure that there is, but again I briefly saw the reports and I would refer you — let me see if I can get something from the Justice Department — I’m sure there’s going to be a lot of people who analyze the legal ramifications of it. I think the President’s point is that judges shouldn’t be making these decisions; the people should be making these decisions.

McClellan explains “heck of a job”


From theTimes Picayune:

McClellan also recounts another “clinker,” when Bush singled out
Michael Brown, the beleaguered head of the Federal Emergency Management
Agency, with the infamous, “Brownie, you’re doing a heck of a job.”

“Even Brown looked embarrassed and no wonder; most Americans had
already concluded that the FEMA director was in over his head,” said
McClellan, who adds that it helped cement an image that Bush is overly
loyal even after poor performance.
(my emphasis)

I don’t know if that last bit of analysis by McClellan is generally true of Bush though perhaps Scottie himself may be an example of such. But I don’t believe Americans watching that moment were thinking of Bush as loyalist. Rather it cemented an image that Bush didn’t know WTF was going on. That’s a “clinker”? And remember the remark came just minutes after theTrent Lott’s porch remark. That one further cemented the image of Bush as tone deaf and uncaring to the death and suffering occurring. Taken together they were very damaging. Because even though Bush was no longer vacationing, nor peering out of a plane window but was at last on the ground, at least Alabama ground, he still didn’tget it…what any American watching their TV’s for days previous got…the horror of it all.

The TP continues:

Later, McClellan writes, Bush told staff he had little choice but to
praise Brown. “He was standing right there and I was trying to pump up
everybody’s morale,”
McClellan quotes the president’s explanation to
aides. (my emphasis)

Aaack. Whatever…

Today On Holden’s Obsession With [Yesterday’s] Gaggle

Um, Dana, Was There A Great Deal Of Poo-Flining When You Broke The News About Little Scottie To The Chimp?

Q I know that you said you weren’t going to be speaking anything more about McClellan, but could you give us a little sense of who told the President about it, when it occurred and any reaction he had?

MS. PERINO: Sure. Well, you will recall that it was last November, right before Thanksgiving when we first heard about the book, when the excerpt came out. I was with the President at the time and told him about it — we were at Camp David, right after an interview he had just finished.

And at that time, was led to believe that the excerpt was a little bit over-written and not necessarily representative of what the book would be like.


So the President has been aware that it was going to come out. I talked to him a little bit yesterday — I can’t exactly remember where, but on the plane here — I guess it was on the plane; I don’t remember where we were on our way to, since we had three stops yesterday. And his reaction was similar to what I said this morning, which is he is puzzled, and he doesn’t recognize this as the Scott McClellan that he hired and confided in and worked with for so many years; and disappointed that if he had these concerns and these thoughts he never came to him or anyone else on the staff that we know of.

So I think it’s just a sad situation.

Q So you briefed him?

MS. PERINO: Yes, but I think I may not be the only one; we’ve known it’s been coming for a while, so I’m assuming that other members of senior staff had alerted him.


Q I’m sorry if you said this, but was the President surprised?

MS. PERINO: I think you can fairly characterize it is as surprised, as well as he thinks it’s a sad situation and was disappointed, as I said just a moment ago.

Stay The Course!

Q I’m just kind of curious, in terms of the general — you’ve kind of portrayed this as a sad situation that you’re — you don’t quite understand this. But do you think this is causing any scrutiny on the White House as part of its own handling of the pre-war intelligence? I mean, is it causing any —

MS. PERINO: I think that horse has been beaten enough. And —

Q So the substance of what Scott is saying is not something that is causing any rethinking on the part of the White House?

MS. PERINO: I don’t see any reason for it to do so. As I said, the questions about the intelligence being wrong has been — have been asked an answered multiple times. And I think that I have had a good experience working both for Scott, for Tony Snow, and now heading up the press office, that I have good relationships with you all in the press corps, ones that are based on honesty and integrity. And I don’t think that it ever — I think that’s always been the case since I’ve been there. So I don’t see any reason for us to have to rethink anything at this point.

Dana Peroxide Says Little Scottie Is “Rewriting History”, But She Can’t Bring Herself To Call Him A Liar

Q The President often talks about, you know, history being the judge. And this is somebody who had a position where they could see more than, certainly, the public does. After some years of reflection, perhaps, looking back, thinking out of the limelight in private and everything, and coming up with his first version of history, isn’t it a concern that, for you, for the administration, that the conclusions he’s come to are the ones of your critics, essentially, rather than the supporters of the administration?

MS. PERINO: I think this is a unique situation. I don’t think that this is so much as writing history as rewriting history.

Dana Don’t Know!

Q If only to change the subject. Do you have anything on the vote on the cluster munitions?

MS. PERINO: The what?

Q The vote on the cluster munitions negotiations in Brussels, I think.

MS. PERINO: Where was — no, I’m sorry. Clearly, you can tell from my face I don’t know. I haven’t been informed about that.

Q Anything on —

MS. PERINO: Where was the vote?

Q What?

MS. PERINO: Where was the vote?

Q It was today, and it was in — I want to say Brussels, maybe The Hague.

MS. PERINO: Sorry, I don’t. I’ll have to refer you to DOD or State at the moment.