Crazy as a Monkey House Shit-Fight

Another fucking deep thinker from the anti-woman/War on Fucking crowd.

Holy shit. I was in the car yesterday, taking care of some errands and such. When driving, I occasionally listen to Crazy Christian Radio. I know, I know. I need professional help.

At any rate, ona show called “Crosstalk” (Warning! Crazy Christian link! Oh, and get it? Crosstalk? har har) yesterday, I got to hear one Mark Crutcher, a bed-shittingly insane anti-woman activist. If you’re so inclined, you can find links to his crazy online shitshow (Life Dynamics) from the “Crosstalk” link. Now, obviously, most of the War on Fucking/War on Women douchebags are swimming in the shallow end of the gene pool. But this guy? See the title to this post. That’s as crazy as I know how to describe, and he was even nuttier than that.

During his rants, he got around to saying why electing Senator Obama or Senator Clinton would be a bad idea. He didn’t mention “activist judges,” surprisingly enough. No.

What he railed against was, and I shit you not, universal health care.



Now why, you might ask, does universal health care (or, as Crazy McPants-shitter put it, “a socialized medicine system”) matter to an anti-woman asshole?

Well, you see, if we all share the costs of medical bills, then our tax dollars will pay for abortions (Attention, asshole: under Medicaid, they sometimes already do). That’s right. We’ll all be guilty parties in the abortion “holocaust.” Also, since there will be no direct out-of-pocket costs for doctor visits, he predicts that the abortion rate will, in his word, skyrocket. Except that, you know, even with our for-profit medical system, the abortion rate in the US is already higher than in other developed countries–those countries that have the demonic universal health care. 

You see that, Mr. Crutcher? It’s called “research,” and it took me all of 30 seconds with The Google.

So this fucker would deny access to health care to 50 million people (and affordable health care to millions more) because of his own Kwazy Kwusade. That sounds like something Christ might do, doesn’t it?

Now, I know that this graph does not and cannot show causality. However, if the free availability of “elective abortions” led to a jump in the instances and rates of abortion, don’t you think that, say, Canada would have a higher abortion rate than the US? 

Listening to this guy was terrifying and entertaining at the same time. He really, really believes, it seems, that pro-choice people want nothing more than to kill humans. He thinks that talk of reproductive freedom, women’s rights, health issues, and the like are just red herrings. He accuses Planned Parenthood of a massive, extremely profitable, and decades-long conspiracy to:

  1. Introduce value-free comprehensive sex education to
  2. Encourage people to have sex, then
  3. Get pregnant, and–here’s the Wile E. Coyote ingeniousness–
  4. Go to Planned Parenthood and pay for abortions

I swear to Jeebus, I am not making this up. He had the usual talk of “abortion mills” run by the “abortion industry,” set up just to murder “unborn children.” I was half tempted to call in and say something along the lines of: “Well golly, Mr. Crutcher, don’t you think it’s important that we rebuild our industrial base here in America? An abortion industry is still an industry.”

But I didn’t want to be directly responsible for the massive stroke that would have killed him. Criminal liability and all, you know.

Wow. I wish I had time to go over all of his craziness, but I think it overloaded my poor little heathen brain.

16 thoughts on “Crazy as a Monkey House Shit-Fight

  1. Dorothy says:

    Oh, the “abortion mills” thing is ancient: I got that schtick 25 years ago in Catholic school. It’s directly linked to the “rich abortion doctors victimize women and trick them into getting abortions” mindset.
    Of course, it was much more blatent back when I was in school. We were taught that members of an anti-abortion group had “infiltrated” Planned Parenthood to take pregnancy tests, and they were promptly LIED TO and told they were pregnant (when they couldn’t be, obviously, because they were good Catholic girls) and pressured–nay, brow-beaten!–into scheduling fake abortions.
    Other versions of the story side-stepped the “how do they know PP was lying?” issue by having the intrepid moles smuggle in horse urine (specifically, male horse urine) and use that for the pregnancy test. Surprise, surprise–the poor stallion was pregnant and needed an abortion.
    Of course, it apparantly never once occurred to these brilliant strategists to report this flagrant malpractice to the medical licensing board, get this particular “abortion mill” shut down, ruin PP’s reputation in the larger community, and sue PP for their gobs and gobs of money (which could then be donated to Mother Thersa or some other worthy Catholic notable).
    Nope. See, God must have told them that it would be much more effective to whisper these stories in youth retreats and around the fires at church camps. Because we know they would NEVER, EVER spread rumors or make shit up or lie, right?

  2. virgotex says:

    Oh, now Jude, you didn’t tell us that Crutcher hails from Denton, TX. Home of Texas Women’s Universit, the largest state-supported university for women in the US.
    Ironically, Sarah Weddington, who represented “Jane Roe” in Roe v. Wade holds a distinguished lecturer post at TWU.

  3. pansypoo says:

    facts are scary. like wimen.

  4. Elspeth R says:

    “Abortion Mills”…? Do they give tours? Could be educational…
    Elspeth – who is a staunch advocate for Responsibility first and foremost and if that fails – get the appt at PP for a currently perfectly LEGAL procedure if your local pharma won’t give you the morning after pill. Luckily, haven’t had to do either…and sadly, no current ‘risk’ of any interaction of an intimate nature at present… πŸ˜‰

  5. pratfall says:

    Go watch the abortion episode of “30 Days,” they refer to working at a clinic as “selling” abortions. Apparently this “rich doctors” meme is pretty widespread in the monkey shithouse sector.

  6. squirm says:

    Denton, TX, also home to Brave Combo (

  7. slim says:

    See the title to this post. That’s as crazy as I know how to describe, and he was even nuttier than that.
    Crazy as a shit-house monkey fight?
    Obviously, we poor females are just too fucking stupid to know what to do with our own bodies, right, Mr. Crutchnuts?

  8. BuggyQ says:

    I love you, Jude. You and Athenae go where I fear to tread. And you offer statistics to debunk the crazies!
    Too bad the Mark Crutchers of the world will never accept such statistics as proof of their stupidity.

  9. spocko says:

    I find the listening of crazy stuff like this is fun for awhile and then I read a study that said that men specifically listen to stuff like this as kind of a drug to get them angry. It’s like caffeine or speed.
    You are a junkie Jude! Admit it! Well I guess you just did. So we are like your meeting I guess. Testify Brother!
    Now as I figured out the next step is to push back on these jerks. You don’t want to just expose them you want to make their lives 1) poorer 2) as miserable as they make the lives of the brave souls who practice reproductive health.
    So while it would be fun to call up and argue maybe it would be MORE fun to see if you can’t do something cool like cost them some cash or get them in trouble.
    You want to hurt rich people you take away their money. You want to hurt crazy people you expose their hypocricy to their believers.

  10. spocko says:

    Woah! I just clicked on the link and read the summary.
    “Mark reviewed his undercover operation that showed how Planned Parenthood and the National Abortion Federation are operating a nationwide pedophile protection racket. ”
    Holy Accusation Batman! I really want to know the details about this, I feel a nice slander suit rolling out.

  11. Jude says:

    Oh, there are much, much crazier accusations than that.
    Like, say, Planned Parenthood was aligned with the Nazis, and the underground traffic in baby parts. No, really.

  12. spocko says:

    Jude: Really? Wow. As a young Vulcan we had one of the anti-abortion books with the answers to all your questions.
    “What if a woman is raped, is an abortion okay then?”
    “Imagine if a man planted a seed of corn in farmer’s land. Would it be fair of the farmer to yank the corn out by the root? The corn never did anything to the farmer.”
    I should really look that book up to get the exact quote.

  13. Interrobang says:

    “Imagine if a man planted a seed of corn in farmer’s land. Would it be fair of the farmer to yank the corn out by the root? The corn never did anything to the farmer.”
    Wow, that analogy is wrong wrapped in wrong with creamy wrong sauce. Way to, oh, sayignore the agency of the woman in question, guys. (I suppose, while we’re on the subject of crops growing where they’re not wanted, the people responsible for that book would say Percy Schmeiser had no claim against Monsanto for ruining his carefully-developed hybrid strains of canola, because, well, the canola never did anything to him; it just pollinated itself. Too bad, so sad.)
    For myself, I fail to see why everybody and their wingnutty fundamentalist brother is so damn interested in inserting themselves into myprivate medical decision. If their aspirational situation applied to, say, getting Viagra instead of getting an abortion, we’d never hear the end of the screaming.

  14. spocko says:

    Wow, that analogy is wrong wrapped in wrong with creamy wrong sauce.
    Just another reason I love you. πŸ™‚

  15. pansypoo says:

    facts don’t seem to matter to the pro-fetus crowd.

  16. mdhatter says:

    What. A. Cobag.
    (Colostomy bag, a better option than the gender insulting alternative)

Comments are closed.

%d bloggers like this: