Month: October 2008

Uncategorized4 Comments

Quitting Time Booster Shot

Filing a missive from a meeting that will never end. Trying to do this before the battery power on the ol’ laptop dies (or at least several people around me do): – Is it impolite to start a sentence with, “With all do respect to the pointless douchemook on the end…” I’ve found myself needing to curtail that urge several times at this meeting I’m in. – I’m sitting across from a guy who looks like John Malkovich as“Cyrus the Virus” in Con Air. I don’t have a riff on that, but it is creeping me out. – I’m really … Continue reading Quitting Time Booster Shot

Happy Democrat Photo4 Comments

All They Have

Via TPM, this is it. They’re gonna run on the fact that this is a dude you just don’t like. You may not know why you don’t like him, it may be because he’s a Muslim, or a Christian, or a black seperatist, or not “black enough,” or he’s friends with rappers, or he wants to fuck Scarlett Johanssen, or he’s too popular, or too many people hate him, or he’s really a robot operated from within by a tiny cat creature from the planet Zyrgon. Whatever, you don’t like him. That’s the essence of their campaign: But with the … Continue reading All They Have

Geek Cred

Friday Night Galactica Vid

Yoo hoo, Floooooorryyy! Your boyfriend has a new job! AsMetaquotes puts it: IN THE CRIMINAL JUSTICE SYSTEM, THE PEOPLE ARE REPRESENTED BY THREE SEPERATE YET EQUALLY IMPORTANT GROUPS: THE POLICE, WHO INVESTIGATE CRIME, THE DISTRICT ATTORNEYS, WHO PROSECUTE THE OFFENDERS, AND MATT DEVLIN, WHO SEDUCES CRIMINALS UNTIL THEY CONFESS TO EVERYTHING THEY MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE DONE. THESE ARE THEIR STORIES. A. Continue reading Friday Night Galactica Vid

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Wanted: Dead or Alive

I’m filing this missive from the road, where I’m at a national college media convention. I had a conversation with a friend of mine who asked how things were going. I answered almost without thinking, “I never end up sleeping at these things. I eat too much, I drink too much, I laugh too much, I see people I never see and I love every minute of it.” It’s a weird deal when it took me an hour to walk about 30 feet from the elevators to the main convention floor because I kept seeing people who wanted to talk. … Continue reading Wanted: Dead or Alive

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Joe the Loudmouth Pumpkinhead

October Surprise Maybe it’s fitting, no pun intended, that this election is in some ways a referendum on Joe the Plumber more than anything else. We all know the allegations of “socialist” (along with other Rovian smears) are just so much more tripe for the grinder, particularly in light of the financial bailout, although anyone with even a smidgen of intellect is well aware that the United States is hardly an unfettered “free market” (as if we would even WANT such a thing.) So, Joe, to mix metaphors, has decided to milk his fifteen minutes for all he can mine … Continue reading Joe the Loudmouth Pumpkinhead

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Poll: Obama-McCain in virtual tie in Louisiana

Wow! AWWL-TV poll shows a dead heat in Louisiana: NEW ORLEANS – An exclusive new WWL-TV statewide poll shows the contest for president may be closer than many had predicted among Louisiana voters. In the telephone survey of 500 registered voters, conducted by pollster Ed Renwick, Republican Senator John McCain earns 43 percent of the vote, while Democrat Senator Barack Obama receives 40 percent. Renwick said that amounts to a statistical tie, since the poll has a margin of error of plus or minus 4.5 points. “It’s closer than I thought it would be,” said Renwick, adding that the higher … Continue reading Poll: Obama-McCain in virtual tie in Louisiana

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“culture of substance abuse and promiscuity”

Sofederal investigators found employees of the Minerals Management Service of the Interior Department were engaging in all kinds of hanky panky. WASHINGTON (AP) — Government officials handling billions of dollars in oil royalties improperly engaged in sex with employees of energy companies they were dealing with and received numerous gifts from them, federal investigators said Wednesday. The alleged transgressions involve 13 former and current Interior Department employees in Denver and Washington. Their alleged improprieties include rigging contracts, working part-time as private oil consultants, and having sexual relationships with — and accepting golf and ski trips and dinners from — oil … Continue reading “culture of substance abuse and promiscuity”

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Cha Ching

Exxon Mobil posted a record profit of almost $15 billion dollars in the last quarter. My math skills are a little rusty, so correct me if I’m wrong, but with the help of Microsoft Calculator version 5.1 I believe that comes out to about $2,000…a second. And John McCain wants to give them an extra billion or so in tax breaks. Ah, the good life… Continue reading Cha Ching

Political Crack15 Comments

Your Obama Sticker Won’t Get You Into Heaven

Something I’ve hadbookmarked for a while that Jacob wrote back during the primaries. Go read and then come back. Because what that looks like to me is a lot of the same thing, no matter if the word is “war” or “gay” or “abortion”: the second you let those words take over your brain, you’re letting them win. And if you read this blog at all, you know “they” are nobody you want to mess with, because they don’t really exist, because they’re just us, from the other side. Which is why I’m looking forward to the rise of the … Continue reading Your Obama Sticker Won’t Get You Into Heaven

Jude, Stupid Republican Tricks14 Comments

McCain’s Dumb-Ass Ploy

The McCain campaign: sunk at the pier. The above photo is of the Liberty ship SS Schenectady. It broke in half while sitting at the pier, most likely due to a phenomenon known to metallurgists as brittle fracture. It’s pretty amazing–metal will shatter like glass under certain conditions. But enough about that. I’m here to talk about John McCain’s latest dumbassery. I speak, of course, of the continued running of TV ads saying that Obama was tight with, as they put it, “Terrorist William Ayers.” This hasn’t done anything for McCain’s standings in the polls, and it won’t. Why? Two … Continue reading McCain’s Dumb-Ass Ploy

Happy Democrat Photo8 Comments

The Obama Pitch

I said this over at the crack den, but I wanted to expand on it a bit here. It’s a measure of how screwed we’ve been for how long, and how utterly unacknowledged it has been by our leaders, that the very basic statement that once you’ve earned a pension no one should take it away should sound so radical to our ears, should be so welcomed. It’s a measure how voiceless we have been for so long that we would take such wild joy in hearing that no one should lose her house because her husband got sick. It’s … Continue reading The Obama Pitch

Jude, Political Crack4 Comments

More Stupid Shit

Please, dear Jeebus, let it all be over soon. So, while I was drinking coffee this morning, I turned on the CBS morning show to see what they’d have to say about Sweet SweetBarack’s prime-time address last night. Before they got to that topic, however, they were talking about polls. Harry Smith, Julie Chen, and the collection of other empty suits mentioned that Senator Obama is “ahead in most polls.” Then they cut to a segment in which the reporter uttered the same phrase. Excuse me? Ahead in most polls? Obama is ahead ineverysinglefuckingnationalpoll, and has been for a month … Continue reading More Stupid Shit

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Coattails

Wisconsin is looking at Democratic control of state government: With anxiety high over the economy and Barack Obama leading state presidential polls by a healthy margin, there’s a good chance voters will hand Democrats full control of state government for the first time in more than two decades. Republicans hold a slim 51-47 advantage in the Assembly, with one independent. But even the chamber’s leader says GOP control is tenuous heading into Tuesday’s election. SNIP Democratic control of the Assembly would give the party a freer hand to enact laws next year that Republicans might otherwise block. Gov. Jim Doyle, … Continue reading Coattails

Stupid Republican Tricks14 Comments

Not Hearing It

Something that’s been bugging me for a while: Historically speaking, conservatism is a movement organized and funded by society’s most powerful members; politically speaking, it lusts for tax cuts and government rollbacks that will benefit those same fortunate folks at the top. But what it really is, in its own mind, is a crusade on behalf of society’s most abject members: the true Americans who are victimized, sneered at and persecuted for their faithfulness. Who persecutes them? Well, the mainstream media, to begin with, which supposedly chuckles at their unadorned heartland ways from its lofty perches in New York and … Continue reading Not Hearing It

Political Crack11 Comments

A Request For Help

I really hate blegs, especially when they’re this … specific, but I need a favor from you all. Can one of you fine readers possibly find it in the goodness of your heart to come over to my house andFEBREEZE MY BRAINS OUT OF THE CARPET? Some concerned parents have contacted the Mattel toy company with allegations that one of its dolls utters words which promote Islam. The Little Mommy Cuddle ‘n Coo dolls are manufactured by Fisher-Price, which is part of the Mattel toy empire. However, a number of parents contacted the company when they heard the doll say … Continue reading A Request For Help

Political Crack4 Comments

Charles

h/t HoneyBearKelly, who owes me a box of kleenex UPDATED, to add: Heartwarming, yes, but there’s another message here. Charles was born the same year as my parents, and like them, he’s a die-hard Democrat because of the times he lived in, and the president that made a difference in his life. FDR and his programs created generations of Democrats, people who, like my mother, worked for their party, volunteered at the polls, and passed that consciousness down to their kids and grandkids. We don’t know yet what Obama will accomplish, but if he’s even halfway successful, he has a … Continue reading Charles