Monthly Archives: October 2008

Vote!

Every vote counts…

It isn’t over til it’s over…

Coattails

Wisconsin is looking at Democratic control of state government:

With anxiety high over the economy and Barack Obama leading state
presidential polls by a healthy margin, there’s a good chance voters
will hand Democrats full control of state government for the first time
in more than two decades.

Republicans hold a slim 51-47
advantage in the Assembly, with one independent. But even the chamber’s
leader says GOP control is tenuous heading into Tuesday’s election.

SNIP

Democratic control of the Assembly would give the party a freer hand to
enact laws next year that Republicans might otherwise block. Gov. Jim
Doyle, a Democrat, doesn’t face re-election this year, and Democrats
control the Senate by a 17-14 margin with two vacancies and are
expected to retain the majority.

SNIP

Rep. Mark Pocan, D-Madison, who is overseeing the Assembly Democrats’
election effort, expects Democrats to pick up at least five seats, and
the majority, because he said voters trust the party more on issues
like the economy and health care

Today’s Encouraging Thought


Don’t gimme no pop, no pop.

I bought a gallon of milk today. McCain’s hopes of being President will expire before the milk does.

Wheeeee!

Not Hearing It

Something that’s been bugging me for a while:

Historically speaking, conservatism is a movement organized and funded by society’s most powerful members; politically speaking, it lusts for tax cuts and government rollbacks that will benefit those same fortunate folks at the top.

But what it really is, in its own mind, is a crusade on behalf of society’s most abject members: the true Americans who are victimized, sneered at and persecuted for their faithfulness.

Who persecutes them? Well, the mainstream media, to begin with, which supposedly chuckles at their unadorned heartland ways from its lofty perches in New York and Washington. Academics, for another, with their fancy rhetoric and their bottomless contempt for the red, white and blue

I’ve realized in my rapidly advancing age what really bugs me about people. I have my mother’s innate desire to be friends with everyone, to make everybody feel comfortable and loved and happy, to please each person I see. This will surprise people who only know me online but I’m actually rather conflict-averse; I’d rather not have a fight if I can help it, and the older I get, the less effort it seems to require to just be sweet to people even if they’re being kind of dickish.

But there’s one thing that trips my trigger every time. That makes it impossible for me to be nice or make the extra stretch or go the extra mile or even keep my voice on an even keel while I’m talking to somebody on the phone, or smile while I’m sitting across the lunch table from someone even as I’m thinking of ways to get away with murder.

Condescension.

I cannot stand being talked down to. Cannot stand it. It is irrational, I should be bigger than this, I should be able to say to whoever it is lording his- or herself over me that hey, I’ve got nothing to be ashamed of, nothing to worry about, let ’em feel like the big men or women on campus if that’s what they want. But I’m not bigger than that and even the hint that somebody’s getting superior makes me see fucking RED. Worse yet, you talk to someone I care about in that tone of voice? My spidey-sense for this kind of thing is pretty finely-tuned, is my point.

So I’ve never understood, with that finely-tuned sense, how people don’t pick up on just how much of this “You’re so REAL, with your really real-ness and your authenticity and your pickup truck and dirty hat” from Republicans and right-leaning pundits who live the same lives as those rich liberal media assholes is such complete insult, top to bottom. It’s so reductive, the definition of people by what they drive, where they eat, all the Bobo Brooks and James Lileks-y crapola about shopping at Target — which last I checked was very successfully carrying the same fugly-ass designers of tweeny jeans as department stores now — It’s just a way of calling you stupid.

Does it take a woman to know this, when you’re being “respected” and when you’re being fetishized? Somebody complimenting the outlines of what they consider your life by pointing out how different you are from them and how exotic, like a zoo animal, does that ever sound like anything other than something that ought to get you slapped? You’d never go into someone’s fancy $3,500-floored marble foyer (Mr. A and I saw one of these in a home store and were like, “Who are these people and can we go live with them?”) and compliment its authenticity, you’d compliment its beauty and its coloring, or something, even as you thought, “I could buy so many BOOKS with that” or whatever. I don’t think anybody ever toured someone’s private stables and tennis courts and talked about how real they were.

I don’t think I’m alone in knowing instinctively when someone’s being condescending to me. I think everybody who went to middle school knows what that feels like. So why doesn’t the “you’re a real man, shot and a beer, order coffee in the diner, small-town values” characterization tip that off for more people? Is it a deliberate decision to close your ears to the inherent nastiness of it? Is it that they’re just not hearing what’s really being said?

A.

A Request For Help

I really hate blegs, especially when they’re this … specific, but I need a favor from you all. Can one of you fine readers possibly find it in the goodness of your heart to come over to my house andFEBREEZE MY BRAINS OUT OF THE CARPET?

Some concerned parents have contacted the Mattel toy company with allegations that one of its dolls utters words which promote Islam.

The Little Mommy Cuddle ‘n Coo dolls are manufactured by Fisher-Price, which is part of the Mattel toy empire. However, a number of parents contacted the company when they heard the doll say these words: “Islam is the light.”

Because I don’t know if this is a product of combining too many late-night Chucky viewings with chug-a-lugs ofPowerthirst and a constant soundtrack of Little Green Footballs’ The Fucktard-Driven Life Motivational Podcast or what, but who the holy blue hell sits around listening, over and over, to messages in things that you pull a string to make them talk, until they start sounding like the utterances of all your deepest fears? I mean it, who does this? This is like … we’re one step away from thinking the toaster is sending you messages from Elvis, here. This is that close. This is me unplugging my microwave because I think it’s transmitting my thoughts to the Easter Bunny, is what this is.

I so badly want someone to start a ministry or outreach program for these people, these people who think the whole world is a fun-house reflection of Free Republic. Perhaps one of our nation’s many super-duper-mega-marketing-outlet-church complexes could include, between its “Selling Your Crucifix Nail Necklances on Etsy for Fun and Profit” seminars and “Jesus Wants You To Date Insecure Loud-Talking Cell Phone In The Bathroom Stall Guy” re-education summer camps, a sort of “Stop Being Such A Goddamn Crazy Narcissist Because Most Muslims Don’t Know You Exist You Doofus” mini-course for people who would otherwise be monitoring the white noise from the washing machine for subliminal Islamofascist propaganda. Perhaps their need to be important sentinels standing on the walls manning the battlements in the war on terror could be channelled into something useful that way.

Even if it’s making lanyards, for fuck’s sake, it’s got to be more beneficial to society than THIS.

A.

Charles

h/t HoneyBearKelly, who owes me a box of kleenex

UPDATED, to add: Heartwarming, yes, but there’s another message here. Charles was born the same year as my parents, and like them, he’s a die-hard Democrat because of the times he lived in, and the president that made a difference in his life. FDR and his programs created generations of Democrats, people who, like my mother, worked for their party, volunteered at the polls, and passed that consciousness down to their kids and grandkids. We don’t know yet what Obama will accomplish, but if he’s even halfway successful, he has a chance to leave that same legacy to his party. Sure, the Republicans are worried about Obama giving away their “wealth,” but even more they’re scared shitless about the generations of new Democrats he’ll create.

American Stories, American Solutions

In case you missed it tonight on television, here it is:

Whassup?

Change

Happy Obama Photo

Jackobama

BOO!

Sent in by commenter CrispyShot.

A.

If Your Opponent Is Drowning…

Throw that sonofabitch an anvil.

Memo to John McCain: Incoming anvil.

The Internet Needs To Get Off Journalism’s Neck

People shot in Chicago not related to Jennifer Hudson merit a couple of inches in the “Chicago Crime” section:

A 15-year-old boy was fatally shot while apparently taking out the garbage Tuesday morning at his Back of the Yards home.

Alejandro Avitia was shot in the chest just after 11 a.m. in the 4800 block of South Bishop, a stretch that neighbors say has been plagued by gang violence. He died at the scene, according to police and Fire Department reports.

ViaBeachwood.

I’m sorry, Jennifer Hudson seems like a nice girl and it’s a terrible thing that happened to her family, but every day is somebody’s national emergency and the spoiled boy king we call mayor of this town gets asked about one and not the other at a press conference covered by the entire world. Paging the academic panel on Media Ethics In The Digital Age to the white courtesy phone, please …

A.

Make of yourself a light

Sgshvs_2

Photo: Obama Pics Daily

By oneself alone is evil done;
By oneself alone is one defiled,
By oneself alone is evil avoided;
By oneself alone is one purified.
Purity and impurity depends upon himself.
No one can purify another.

Buddha, theDhammapada

It’s not about Obama being a spiritual leader or a guru or a savior or a messiah. He’s not, and further, it’s dangerous to even hint at that. The folks who do, supporter and deriders alike, aren’t getting it: a mere politician can do, should do, what he’s done. It’s not even about Obama changing “our politics.” It’s about the part where we change our politics, it’s about us recognizing ourselves and our country, and our capacity to get ourselves through. When we just for a second, even, put the irony and cynicism aside, set down our fear of appearing naive, and guess what? We don’t need any of that to do this part, to take this responsibility, to engage.

This is where McCain blew it. This is the road he didn’t take, the one he can’t even see. I mean, yeah, he’s made about 8 million mistakes since then, but this is the crucial difference. His campaign has had about 8 million messages too, so absolutely devoid of discipline it is, and never once, not once ever, has it been about us, about how yes, we can, in fact, do this for ourselves.

Endorsements That Matter

Time Cube Guy endorses McCain.

I’m personally holding off on voting to see if theWeasel Ball guys offer me any guidance:

All your life you have wanted to order something from a website called WeaselBalls.com. That day has arrived. If you order more than one, you can tell everybody you know that you “bought some weasel balls off of the internet.” The story alone is worth the purchase price several times over. If you so desire, we will write, at no cost to you “CAUTION: WEASEL BALLS INSIDE” on the outside of the box. We are completely 100% serious. Your mail carrier will think you are so awesome. If you desire to be less awesome, we can mask the fact that you just ordered something from a website called WeaselBalls.com. We will work with you to fulfill your Weasel Ball needs.

[snip]

The weasel fur is made of acrylic, a synthetic fabric that is not derived from an animal. If you’re a vegan, or you just own a pair of birkenstocks — have no qualms about ordering a Weasel Ball, for it is neither real nor edible. You should never ever attempt to eat the weasel. The previous sentence is a good general guideline on how to live your life.

A.

Sweet SweetBarack’s Baadasssss Song

And the congregation says “amen.”

One week to go, folks.

I went down to the County Clerk’s office last week to vote–the wait was almost an hour. But nobody left. This week, I’ve heard that hour-and-a-half wait times are common. 

All the polls show bad, bad news for McCain. Palin’s playing smashy-smashy with his campaign. With luck, we’ll have enough Democratic Senators so that we canfinally tell Joe Lieberman to go fuck himself. And we just might get 270 House seats. Wonderful, wonderful news.

Just think. In just over one week, we’ll be celebrating our new, distinguished, intelligent, commieMuslimmarxistuppityNegroAmericahatingredistributionist overlord. It’ll be grand.

Column: VOTE!

Bitches!

Look, I’m a realistic person. I know not everyone lives with the CNN news crawl jacked into the back of their brains like something out of the Matrix, which is how it’s starting to feel to me at this point in the election. I realize we all have jobs and lives and families and right now most of us are in the midst of trying to gather cardboard to build a shantytown for the coming Not So Great Actually Depression.

Things move fast these days and so I’m not talking about you not knowing the finer points of Obama’s health care plan or McCain’s position on government spending. I don’t expect everyone to mainline this stuff; frankly, given my own constant tension headache and incipient espresso addiction, I’d be scared if everyone was as cracked out on this election as I am.

I just have no patience for the dude who uses, “Man, I dunno anything about this stuff,” as an excuse for not spending 10 minutes on a Tuesday every four years to hire the guy who’s gonna run our entire lives. Newspapers are sold on every corner. If you own a TV, this stuff is beamed into your home from the air like a magical alien space-ray from the future every evening for free. Your local library has a computer that is a portal to an Internet positively seething with info, most of it not containing cuss words or naked people, though you can find that stuff if you want it, too.

I have no patience for the hipster who thinks you’re being a sucker by wearing an Obama shirt or a McCain button. “The system” may be unfair and it may be fixed for rich people and it may be overrun with corruption. Guess what? By walking away and shrugging, you’re not taking some rebellious position (sophomore, please), you’re just ceding control of that system to the people who, in your view, have screwed it up. Nice job, slick. Enjoy your ironic detachment and your Amstel Light.

A.

The Wire…for Obama in NC

Yes!


More at FiveThirtyEight.com
on cast members of The Wire speaking at a rally in Raleigh, North Carolina

And Happy Joey Photo, So Long As We’re Here

Bidenbooyah

Stolen from the insane fangirls over atBiden Daily.

Becausebooyah, that’s why.

A.