Category Archives: Happy Democrat Photo

First Draft Potpourri: Campaign Notes

I thought I’d meme a picture of the happiest Democrat of all for this feature. Besides, as a history buff, the 1948 campaign is among the most interesting ever. It featured something we’re unlikely to see again in our lifetime: a good choice. The Republican ticket of Tom Dewey and Earl Warren were stronger on Civil Rights than Truman-Barkley who weren’t half bad on that issue either thanks to Hubert Humphrey. As I said, it was a good choice.

The only truly good choice in my voting lifetime was 1976: Jimmy Carter and Jerry Ford were both good men as well as genuine moderates. Ford was too conservative for my taste but it’s been forgotten that Carter was the most conservative Democratic nominee since Grover Cleveland. At least he didn’t have Cleveland’s giant walrus mustache:

A side note; I was already a  young Beatles fan when I first saw a picture of President Cleveland. I had perhaps my first earworm: I Am The Walrus.  When encountering Grover’s glowering visage, I remain guilty of saying “Goo goo g’joob” instead of “Ma, Ma, where’s my Pa? Gone to the White House ha, ha, ha,”

That was a manic digression even by my standards but after several weeks of focusing on the Kavanaugh Mess, I need some comic relief. I suspect you do too.

Republicans have spent the last few days exchanging high-fives and spiking the ball over what they’re calling the Brett bounce. I expressed skepticism about this on Monday and a CNN poll conducted during Peak Kav showed Democratic gains in the generic ballot as well as a staggering 30% advantage among women voters. The gender gap has been a reality for years  but has exploded in 2018. I cannot imagine why. That was, of course, a lie: it’s because of the man I call the Insult Comedian, Trumpberius, and the Kaiser of Chaos. I felt like flexing my nickname muscles, what can I tell ya?

If there’s a Brett bounce it’s not happening in House races. Politico’s Steven Shepherd counted so we don’t have to:

The Republican House majority continues to show signs of collapsing, with Democrats steadily gaining ground toward erasing the 23-seat margin and ending eight years of GOP control.

A total of 68 seats currently held by Republicans are firmly in play — rated as “Lean Republican” or worse for the GOP — presenting a stark contrast to the Democratic side, where only a half-dozen Democratic seats are in similar jeopardy.

<SNIP>

With a month to go until Election Day, there are now 209 seats either firmly or leaning in the Democratic column — only nine shy of the 218 the party needs to wrest away control of the chamber — according to the latest update of POLITICO’s race ratings.

I hope the Gret Stet MSM will stop writing pieces about how good it would be for Lousiana if  Metry’s Steve Scalise became Speaker. All he’s going to be is a contestant for Minority Leader.

Admittedly, things aren’t as hunky dory in the Senate where there seems to be a slight shift towards the GOP recently. The Senate was *always* going to be difficult to flip but, as the cliche goes, 27 days is a lifetime in politics. Tick tock, motherfuckers.

In the most entertaining Senate race of the season, Beto O’Rourke is drawing massive crowds, which has convinced some observers that he’s going to win. Crowds, fundraising, and yard signs are great but I’d feel better if Beto ever led in a public poll. Thus far, Cruz has maintained a steady lead. He *is* running scared: Tailgunner Ted pulled out of a joint appearance on CNN. Repeat after me: Ted Cruz is a pussy. He should grab himself.

Texas remains the Democrats’ white whale as far as I’m concerned. I really hope I’m wrong about this but I’m reluctant to be like Captain Ahab:

The Insult Comedian has been out on the hustings whipping his crowds into a frenzy and telling frenetic lies. He’s decided that his pet Justice* was the victim of a hoax perpetrated by the evil Democrats and our puppet master, George Soros who is the star of the 21st Century’s version of The Protocols of the Elders of Zion.

Trump is preternaturally fond of urging his crowds to chant “lock her up.” It seems to be reserved for uppity women who have crossed him: Hillary Clinton, Christine Blasey Ford, and the latest, Dianne Feinstein.

In the current GOP take on the Kavanaugh Mess, Senator Feinstein is the scheming, lying harpy whose evil machinations nearly sank their saintly Supreme Court nominee. This is, of course, ludicrous to those of us who’ve followed Feinstein since her days in San Francisco politics. She’s a straight arrow who has often gotten into trouble for being too blunt. If Dianne Feinstein is a trickster, I’m a Kim-n-Kanye idolator.

The most important thing I can say today is GET OUT AND VOTE and get your mom-n-them to the polls as well. It’s time to bring some oversight back to Washington. I’m certain that Elijah Cummings, Jerry Nadler, and Adam Schiff have itchy subpoena fingers.

Repeat after me: there are 27 days until the midterms, Tick tock, motherfuckers.

My Boyfriend John Kerry Has a Book Out and is Thus Everywhere

Globe. Twitter.  Colbert, where he was just idiotically charming and inspiring as usual:

He’s 18 feet tall and I love him so much. I love how boringly passionate he is about the actual, you know, COUNTRY, and his job, and all the ordinary stuff you’re supposed to care about when you work for us.

I’m so glad he talked about trying to bring McCain onto the ticket in 2004, because I feel like that was a real chance to stop what’s happened since, and not enough people recognized it at the time. Fuck, I will never be over the 2004 election. We fought so goddamn hard and goddamn did we lose.

And let me just say, this is not the place for shit-talking Kerry nor, quite frankly, any other potential 2020 candidate as UGH GOD NO (even if said candidate is Bernie or Hillz). For starters, literally nothing a Democrat is doing right now in order to stand up to the president is bad, and after that, the earth is caving in NOW. The people throwing dynamite into the chasm hope we’re all out here on Left Twitter screaming at each other about 2020, so we won’t notice there are kids still in cages.

Hillary shouldn’t go knit and Bernie shouldn’t shut up and Kerry and Biden and every other Democrat shouldn’t go away. I’m sick of the chorus of nay-sayers for EVERYBODY.

Look. We’re gonna get who we get in 2020. We’re all gonna fight like hell for who we want and then we’re gonna get who we get and in case you think I’m just mouthing at you here are my votes in the presidential primaries in order as I remember them: Bill Clinton, John McCain (trying to stop Bush), Howard Dean, Chris Dodd, Bernie Sanders. I have never gotten what I wanted at the top of the ticket, never even once, and I know a hell of a lot of other people in the same exact boat.

Denis Leary had a joke about how dumb it was to ban gay people from serving in the military, went something like, “You want to fuck other guys? Here’s another guy and a gun, go!” That’s kind of how I feel about potential presidential candidates. I LOVE BERNIE! Here’s Bernie and a bunch of voter registration forms, go! I love Cory Booker! Here’s Cory Booker and a phone bank, go! I love Kamala Harris! Here’s Kamala Harris and some yard signs, go!

Nobody’s too old or too young or too conservative or too liberal or too socialist or too ANYTHING right now.

We need more loud and proud voices from the left AND center-left of American politics right now. We need more of literally any point of view that isn’t the Trump/Ryan/McConnell complex. I don’t want to see anybody shouted down right now. I want us all out there at the top of our lungs saying my candidate thinks what’s happening is crap and so do I and so do all my friends and we’re gonna vote.

It’s too early to tell people to shut up. We’ve barely started talking.

A.

ps. For more on the not-at-all-controversial topic of “whatever, I will vote for a pile of dogshit with a D after its name for every office in the land from now until the end of time,” see this piece from before the 2016 election. Been banging this drum for a while.

pps. Seriously, lay off Kerry, he very nearly unseated an incumbent Republican president during wartime, and until recently he was trying to keep us out of nuclear war even though nobody was paying him to do that, you ungrateful childish fucks.

John Kerry is Still Trying to Save Your Stupid Asses

We don’t deserve him. We didn’t get him as president because we suck too much: 

With the Iran deal facing its gravest threat since it was signed in 2015, Kerry has been on an aggressive yet stealthy mission to preserve it, using his deep lists of contacts gleaned during his time as the top US diplomat to try to apply pressure on the Trump administration from the outside. President Trump, who has consistently criticized the pact and campaigned in 2016 on scuttling it, faces a May 12 deadline to decide whether to continue abiding by its terms.

Kerry also met last month with German President Frank-Walter Steinmeier, and he’s been on the phone with top European Union official Federica Mogherini, according to the source, who spoke on the condition of anonymity to reveal the private meetings. Kerry has also met with French President Emmanuel Macron in both Paris and New York, conversing over the details of sanctions and regional nuclear threats in both French and English.

Let’s recap, shall we, for those of you still confused about what blog you’re on. John Kerry at an age when most rich young white boys are buttchugging Everclear volunteered for what was obviously even then a really shitty war, fought in that war like a death-dealing badass, then came home and said let’s make sure nobody else has to do this shit ever.

The late, much-missed Steve Gilliard, in what is still the definitive “screw your search for the perfect candidate” piece:

I do understand the frustration of liberals who wonder why they can’t run a real liberal for the White House. Of course, these liberals miss the point that Kerry IS a liberal, a real, bona fide liberal with one of the most liberal voting records in the Senate’s history to match. He’s far more liberal than Bill Clinton. In fact, if a few of these people were less reflexive and contemptuous, they might find that Kerry was to the left of Howard Dean on many issues over his career.

I’m also tired of the lesser of two evils crap. Kerry isn’t evil, he isn’t a crook, he doesn’t bang interns in his office. He’s stood for most of what the left wing of the Democratic Party has stood for since 1972. Unlike many rich people, he didn’t stick his money in his pocket and walk away. This is a man who mortgaged his home to run for President, while Dean was swimming in money. Who fired his campaign manager because he didn’t want to drag the party and himself in the mud. Who reached out for advice when his campaign was faltering.

Then, America doesn’t elect him, and instead of being an asshole he goes back to work in the Senate and doesn’t bitch nearly as much as he could. He campaigns for Obama and goes to work for Obama, busts his entire ass for years, talks Iran out of doing something stupid, campaigns like hell for Hillary, and then America goes and elects Trump.

John Kerry would, having killed and almost died for this country, have been well within his rights at that point to have said fuck all y’all, you wanted a nuclear armageddon, go for it. Knock yourselves out, you stupid motherfuckers. You built this.

He could have with perfect purity of conscience fucked off to his yacht and his wife’s fortune and sailed away to somewhere sane that could appreciate him properly, instead of this, dare I say, shithole country where people are STILL making cracks on Twitter about how he lost his presidential race because he “didn’t fight back.”

Instead of taking a well-deserved nap, John Kerry is out here trying to save the world. Again. Same as he did at the age of 27 when he went to Congress and said with all due respect gentlemen, shove your war. Same as he did every damn day we asked him to serve and quite a few we didn’t:

We believe that what matters most is not narrow appeals masquerading as values, but the shared values that show the true face of America; not narrow values that divide us, but the shared values that unite us: family, faith, hard work, opportunity and responsibility for all, so that every child, every adult, every parent, every worker in America has an equal shot at living up to their God-given potential. That is the American dream and the American value.

I’m disgusted with us sometimes, I really am, and I can’t understand why he isn’t.

 

A.

BRB GRAD SCHOOL APPLICATION DUE

Fuck it, I’m going to Yale: 

Mr. Secretary has a new title: Professor.

Former Secretary of State John Kerry was out of work for about a month before landing a new job at his alma mater, Yale, where he will teach a course as well as host presentations called “Kerry Conversations.”

The new program, called the Kerry Initiative, was announced today by the university’s Jackson Institute for Global Affairs.

“Secretary Kerry is going to teach school,” said Jim Levinsohn, director of the institute, home of the new program. “Students are going to show up, and that’s going to be John Kerry in the classroom.”

It’s like he took a class in how to be charming and adorable to me.

kerrysoccer

A.

Happy Birthday, Mr. President

Barack Obama turned 55 today. His approval rating is on the rise, his chosen successor is ahead in the polls, and he’s married to Michelle. Life is sweet for my fellow Leo. We haven’t posted a Happy Democrat photo for quite some time, so here we go:

president-obama-smiling

Speaking of birthdays, WWL-TV morning news co-host Sally-Ann Roberts (Robin’s big sister) likes to sing Stevie Wonder’s Happy Birthday to viewers. In a running joke, her sardonic co-anchor Eric Paulsen concludes the singing with a muttered “to ya.” For some reason this always cracks me up. I’m dedicating it to POTUS today:

Republicans: We’ll Subpoena You, John Kerry!

They want to call him before Congress to explain how he does his job-type things!

The committee in February asked the State Department to turn over documents and communications related to the “key determination” that the oil pipeline would have an impact on climate change and the decision to cite “U.S. climate leadership” in the denial of the project.

In a letter to Secretary of State John Kerry, Oversight Chairman Jason Chaffetz (R-Utah) and Rep. Cynthia Lummis (R-Wyo.), the chairwoman of the committee’s Interior subpanel, said they have yet to receive the documents and would “consider the use of the compulsory process” if State doesn’t turn them over by next week.

That’s cute.

kerrycongress

A.

Shorter Kerry: Why Should I Apologize When You’re The One Who Sucks?

Seriously: 

Kerry called the letter, which warned Iran that any deal signed by Obama and U.S. allies could be undone by a future president or Congress, “unprecedented.”

“It specifically inserts itself directly to the leader of another country, saying, ‘Don’t negotiate with these guys because we’re going to change this,’ which by the way is not only contrary to the Constitution with the respect to the executive’s right to negotiate, but it is incorrect because they cannot change an executive agreement,” Kerry said in an interview that aired on CBS’ Face the Nation.

Kerry said he will not apologize for the letter, pushed by freshman Sen. Tom Cotton, R-Ark., when negotiations resume Sunday night in Switzerland with Iranian representatives.

“Not on your life,” Kerry said. “I’m not going to apologize for the … unconstitutional, un-thought-out action by somebody who’s been in the United Sates Senate for 60-something days,” he said, referring to Cotton. “That’s just inappropriate.”

That sound you just heard was Tom Cotton’s alleged balls being sucked back up into his body to protect them from this:

kerrysoccer

A.

Happy Kerry Photo: He’s Just Toying With Me Now

kerrybaseball

BOYFRIEND. 

At the end of a wide-ranging interview airing Sunday on NBC’s “Meet the Press,” host Chuck Todd pressed Kerry, the 2004 Democratic presidential nominee, whether there was a scenario in which he would run again for president in 2016.

“I have no scenario whatsoever in my mind,” Kerry said. “I haven’t thought about it. As you can tell, pretty busy.”

When Todd asked, “is it a never say never?” Kerry replied: “Well, nobody says never. But I mean, I have no concept of it.”

Either that, or he’s just toying with Chuck Todd, which could only make me love him MORE.

A.

Ted Cruz Should Suck It

God, his nonsense is exhausting:

Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX) on Monday called on John Kerry to resign after the U.S. secretary of state privately told important world leaders that Israel could become “an apartheid state” if it doesn’t make peace with the Palestinians soon, as reported by The Daily Beast on Sunday.

In a floor speech, Cruz accused his former Senate colleague of displaying a “shocking lack of sensitivity to the incendiary and damaging nature of his rhetoric.”

“Mr. President, it is my belief that Secretary Kerry has thus proven himself unsuitable for his position and that before any further harm is done to our alliance with Israel, he should offer President Obama his resignation and the President should accept it,” said Cruz, who was one of just 3 senators who voted against Kerry’s confirmation to his post last year.

I’m sorry, did John Kerry shut down the government for three weeks and get nothing he wanted out of the deal? Because until John Kerry does that, I think he can stay in his office and continue to say things that are largely true.

Also?

John-Kerry-RT-1200

A.

Ted Cruz Should Suck It

God, his nonsense is exhausting:

Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX) on Monday called on John Kerry to resign after the U.S. secretary of state privately told important world leaders that Israel could become “an apartheid state” if it doesn’t make peace with the Palestinians soon, as reported by The Daily Beast on Sunday.

In a floor speech, Cruz accused his former Senate colleague of displaying a “shocking lack of sensitivity to the incendiary and damaging nature of his rhetoric.”

“Mr. President, it is my belief that Secretary Kerry has thus proven himself unsuitable for his position and that before any further harm is done to our alliance with Israel, he should offer President Obama his resignation and the President should accept it,” said Cruz, who was one of just 3 senators who voted against Kerry’s confirmation to his post last year.

I’m sorry, did John Kerry shut down the government for three weeks and get nothing he wanted out of the deal? Because until John Kerry does that, I think he can stay in his office and continue to say things that are largely true.

Also?

John-Kerry-RT-1200

A.

Ted Cruz Should Suck It

God, his nonsense is exhausting:

Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX) on Monday called on John Kerry to resign after the U.S. secretary of state privately told important world leaders that Israel could become “an apartheid state” if it doesn’t make peace with the Palestinians soon, as reported by The Daily Beast on Sunday.

In a floor speech, Cruz accused his former Senate colleague of displaying a “shocking lack of sensitivity to the incendiary and damaging nature of his rhetoric.”

“Mr. President, it is my belief that Secretary Kerry has thus proven himself unsuitable for his position and that before any further harm is done to our alliance with Israel, he should offer President Obama his resignation and the President should accept it,” said Cruz, who was one of just 3 senators who voted against Kerry’s confirmation to his post last year.

I’m sorry, did John Kerry shut down the government for three weeks and get nothing he wanted out of the deal? Because until John Kerry does that, I think he can stay in his office and continue to say things that are largely true.

Also?

John-Kerry-RT-1200

A.

Ted Cruz Should Suck It

God, his nonsense is exhausting:

Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX) on Monday called on John Kerry to resign after the U.S. secretary of state privately told important world leaders that Israel could become “an apartheid state” if it doesn’t make peace with the Palestinians soon, as reported by The Daily Beast on Sunday.

In a floor speech, Cruz accused his former Senate colleague of displaying a “shocking lack of sensitivity to the incendiary and damaging nature of his rhetoric.”

“Mr. President, it is my belief that Secretary Kerry has thus proven himself unsuitable for his position and that before any further harm is done to our alliance with Israel, he should offer President Obama his resignation and the President should accept it,” said Cruz, who was one of just 3 senators who voted against Kerry’s confirmation to his post last year.

I’m sorry, did John Kerry shut down the government for three weeks and get nothing he wanted out of the deal? Because until John Kerry does that, I think he can stay in his office and continue to say things that are largely true.

Also?

John-Kerry-RT-1200

A.

Ted Cruz Should Suck It

God, his nonsense is exhausting:

Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX) on Monday called on John Kerry to resign after the U.S. secretary of state privately told important world leaders that Israel could become “an apartheid state” if it doesn’t make peace with the Palestinians soon, as reported by The Daily Beast on Sunday.

In a floor speech, Cruz accused his former Senate colleague of displaying a “shocking lack of sensitivity to the incendiary and damaging nature of his rhetoric.”

“Mr. President, it is my belief that Secretary Kerry has thus proven himself unsuitable for his position and that before any further harm is done to our alliance with Israel, he should offer President Obama his resignation and the President should accept it,” said Cruz, who was one of just 3 senators who voted against Kerry’s confirmation to his post last year.

I’m sorry, did John Kerry shut down the government for three weeks and get nothing he wanted out of the deal? Because until John Kerry does that, I think he can stay in his office and continue to say things that are largely true.

Also?

John-Kerry-RT-1200

A.

Ted Cruz Should Suck It

God, his nonsense is exhausting:

Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX) on Monday called on John Kerry to resign after the U.S. secretary of state privately told important world leaders that Israel could become “an apartheid state” if it doesn’t make peace with the Palestinians soon, as reported by The Daily Beast on Sunday.

In a floor speech, Cruz accused his former Senate colleague of displaying a “shocking lack of sensitivity to the incendiary and damaging nature of his rhetoric.”

“Mr. President, it is my belief that Secretary Kerry has thus proven himself unsuitable for his position and that before any further harm is done to our alliance with Israel, he should offer President Obama his resignation and the President should accept it,” said Cruz, who was one of just 3 senators who voted against Kerry’s confirmation to his post last year.

I’m sorry, did John Kerry shut down the government for three weeks and get nothing he wanted out of the deal? Because until John Kerry does that, I think he can stay in his office and continue to say things that are largely true.

Also?

John-Kerry-RT-1200

A.

Ted Cruz Should Suck It

God, his nonsense is exhausting:

Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX) on Monday called on John Kerry to resign after the U.S. secretary of state privately told important world leaders that Israel could become “an apartheid state” if it doesn’t make peace with the Palestinians soon, as reported by The Daily Beast on Sunday.

In a floor speech, Cruz accused his former Senate colleague of displaying a “shocking lack of sensitivity to the incendiary and damaging nature of his rhetoric.”

“Mr. President, it is my belief that Secretary Kerry has thus proven himself unsuitable for his position and that before any further harm is done to our alliance with Israel, he should offer President Obama his resignation and the President should accept it,” said Cruz, who was one of just 3 senators who voted against Kerry’s confirmation to his post last year.

I’m sorry, did John Kerry shut down the government for three weeks and get nothing he wanted out of the deal? Because until John Kerry does that, I think he can stay in his office and continue to say things that are largely true.

Also?

John-Kerry-RT-1200

A.

Ted Cruz Should Suck It

God, his nonsense is exhausting:

Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX) on Monday called on John Kerry to resign after the U.S. secretary of state privately told important world leaders that Israel could become “an apartheid state” if it doesn’t make peace with the Palestinians soon, as reported by The Daily Beast on Sunday.

In a floor speech, Cruz accused his former Senate colleague of displaying a “shocking lack of sensitivity to the incendiary and damaging nature of his rhetoric.”

“Mr. President, it is my belief that Secretary Kerry has thus proven himself unsuitable for his position and that before any further harm is done to our alliance with Israel, he should offer President Obama his resignation and the President should accept it,” said Cruz, who was one of just 3 senators who voted against Kerry’s confirmation to his post last year.

I’m sorry, did John Kerry shut down the government for three weeks and get nothing he wanted out of the deal? Because until John Kerry does that, I think he can stay in his office and continue to say things that are largely true.

Also?

John-Kerry-RT-1200

A.

Ted Cruz Should Suck It

God, his nonsense is exhausting:

Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX) on Monday called on John Kerry to resign after the U.S. secretary of state privately told important world leaders that Israel could become “an apartheid state” if it doesn’t make peace with the Palestinians soon, as reported by The Daily Beast on Sunday.

In a floor speech, Cruz accused his former Senate colleague of displaying a “shocking lack of sensitivity to the incendiary and damaging nature of his rhetoric.”

“Mr. President, it is my belief that Secretary Kerry has thus proven himself unsuitable for his position and that before any further harm is done to our alliance with Israel, he should offer President Obama his resignation and the President should accept it,” said Cruz, who was one of just 3 senators who voted against Kerry’s confirmation to his post last year.

I’m sorry, did John Kerry shut down the government for three weeks and get nothing he wanted out of the deal? Because until John Kerry does that, I think he can stay in his office and continue to say things that are largely true.

Also?

John-Kerry-RT-1200

A.