Endorsements That Matter

Time Cube Guy endorses McCain.

I’m personally holding off on voting to see if theWeasel Ball guys offer me any guidance:

All your life you have wanted to order something from a website called WeaselBalls.com. That day has arrived. If you order more than one, you can tell everybody you know that you “bought some weasel balls off of the internet.” The story alone is worth the purchase price several times over. If you so desire, we will write, at no cost to you “CAUTION: WEASEL BALLS INSIDE” on the outside of the box. We are completely 100% serious. Your mail carrier will think you are so awesome. If you desire to be less awesome, we can mask the fact that you just ordered something from a website called WeaselBalls.com. We will work with you to fulfill your Weasel Ball needs.


The weasel fur is made of acrylic, a synthetic fabric that is not derived from an animal. If you’re a vegan, or you just own a pair of birkenstocks — have no qualms about ordering a Weasel Ball, for it is neither real nor edible. You should never ever attempt to eat the weasel. The previous sentence is a good general guideline on how to live your life.


4 thoughts on “Endorsements That Matter

  1. I’ve visited Honduras a couple of times and if you go to a pop stand and get a Coke to go they don’t give you the glass bottle (the returnable is too valuable), they pour the cola in a plastic bag, do this curly tie thing around a straw, and hand you your Coke as liquid in a bag like you won a goldfish from the fair.
    I used to work with this guy from El Salvador in an office and he said they did the same thing there. When things got crazy at work I would yell to him across the office “I sure could use a bag of Coke right now!”. I don’t have that job anymore but I’m sure a bag of Coke goes great with some nice Weasel balls.

  2. You’re not going to believe this, but my kids have one of these things. It’s very strange but somehow perversely fun. They named it ‘Louise’. They like to put it in a hula hoop on the ground and talk to it as it rolls around. Yeah, I know, I raised ’em right.
    I’m Louise the weasel ball, and I approve this message.

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