One of my mottos as a blogger is: Low-hanging fruit exists to be picked. And that is why the My Pillow Guy DBA Mike Lindell makes an encore appearance as malaka of the week.

Mike Lindell needs no introduction but he gets one anyway. He used to be a successful entrepreneur until his extremist politics got in the way and transformed My Pillow into MAGA Pillow. After the 2020 election, he became one of the leading election deniers in the country. He likely saw it as the path to more riches. Instead, it led to financial ruin:

He has been sued for defamation over his claims that voting machines were manipulated in 2020. Dominion Voting Systems, a manufacturer of voting machines, recently settled its lawsuit against Mr. Lindell, but last year, he was ordered to pay $2.3 million in damages to a former employee of Dominion after a federal jury found him guilty of defamation. A federal judge also found that Mr. Lindell defamed Smartmatic, another voting company, but has not specified how much he owed in damages.”

You say My Pillow; I say MAGA Pillow. Let’s call the whole thing off.

In the UK, guys like Lindell are called chancers. I call them fraudsters. A chancer running for office used to be rare. That changed when the fraudster and con man Donald Trump ran for president. It inspired a generation of unqualified hustlers to try to climb Disraeli’s greasy pole. Mike Lindell is the latest crooked creep to do so.

Malaka Mike is running to be the Republican gubernatorial nominee in Minnesota. Gopher State GOPers are not enthused but he’s been endorsed by the Kaiser of Chaos. There’s a problem with his candidacy:

In Minnesota, voters are allowed to register to vote on Election Day. Mr. Lindell, who is registered in Texas, said he was not concerned that he was not yet registered in his home state, something first reported by The Minnesota Star Tribune.”

Let me get this straight: one of the loudest exponents of the Big Lie is relying on loose registration rules to further his candidacy? In many other states, this would be a campaign killer. In Minnesota, it’s a display of contempt for the voters. Malaka Mike could always drag his pillowy ass to the registrar’s office and turn his re-registration into a photo-op. Of course, he’d have to answer questions from the pesky media about his hypocrisy. The MAGA malakatude, it burns.

Sleazy hustlers like the My Pillow Guy used to be confined to late night infomercials. Thanks to MAGA, these dirtbag outsiders have become ubiquitous on the political scene. It makes me nostalgic for a time when a crooked mook like Malaka Mike would get laughed off the stage instead of being endorsed by the sitting president.

The good news is that Mike Lindell has little chance of being elected Governor: Amy Klobuchar is the prohibitive favorite. Only hardcore MAGA maggots will vote for an election denier who thinks the siege of Minneapolis was a good idea. Their numbers are diminishing by the day.

The bad news is that Lindell is the frontrunner for the Republican nomination based solely on his subservience to the Insult Comedian. That’s an insult to the voters. His candidacy should be smothered by one of his shitty pillow but it’s a free country, so run he can and run he will. And that is why the My Pillow Guy DBA Mike Lindell is malaka of the week.

Repeat after me: You say My Pillow; I say MAGA Pillow. Let’s call the whole thing off.

The last word goes to Little Anthony and the Imperials: