Malaka Of The Week: The My Pillow Guy

The antics of Donald Trump and his MAGA Maggot minions have debased our political system in countless ways. Among the worst things to have happened was the BIG LIE and the subsequent rise to prominence of mooks like The My Pillow Guy. And that is why The My Pillow Guy DBA Mike Lindell is malaka of the week.

The My Pillow Guy symbolizes all that is wrong with today’s Republican Party. He’s an infomercial huckster who rose to prominence by being a more shameless sycophant than Tricky Dick’s pal Bebe Rebozo who at least had a cool name. Mike Lindell sounds like a character who was written out of Fargo. You betcha.

The Indicted Impeached Insult Comedian is a con artist magnet. Most of his inner circle are greasy hustlers on the make like Mike Lindell and his cheesy mustache. Birds of a feather flock together or some such shit.

The My Pillow Guy is the kind of annoying salesman you run away from at a car dealership.

The My Pillow Guy  is the kind of annoying salesman you hang up the phone on.

The My Pillow Guy is the kind of annoying salesman you slam the door on even if his foot is in the way.

The My Pillow Guy is a pest, creep, jerk, and all-around malaka. Shoo, annoying pest, shoo.

The My Pillow Guy is best known for his strident claims that the 2020 election was stolen. One could call it Big Pillow meets the BIG LIE. I wonder if either Trump or Lindell knows this venerable song;

I’ve had many chances to bestow the malakatude crown of thorns on Mike Lindell. Why now? This is why:

“MyPillow founder and prominent election denier Mike Lindell made a bold offer ahead of a “cyber symposium” he held in August 2021 in South Dakota: He claimed he had data showing Chinese interference and said he would pay $5 million to anyone who could prove the material was not from the previous year’s U.S. election.

He called the challenge “Prove Mike Wrong.”

On Wednesday, a private arbitration panel ruled that someone did.

The panel said Robert Zeidman, a computer forensics expert and 63-year-old Trump voter from Nevada, was entitled to the $5 million payout.

Zeidman had examined Lindell’s data and concluded that not only did it not prove voter fraud, it also had no connection to the 2020 election. He was the only expert who submitted a claim, arbitration records show.”

Pay up, Pillow Guy. Heed the words of this song:

In less enlightened times we’d have called The My Pillow Guy a welsher. We can still, however, call Malaka Mike a chiseler, fraudster, grifter, and flim flam man.

If you put your money where your mouth is, Mike, be prepared to pay. Instead, The Pillow Guy  is stealing a page from the Trump playbook and refusing to pay. It’s called fraud. Pay up, Pillow Guy.

The My Pillow Guy is a lying weasel who would cheat his own mother then celebrate by twirling his mustache like a cartoon villain,

or a Spanish surrealist artist whose legacy has been plagued by fakes:

Snidely meets Dali? Only here at First Draft.

Shorter Adrastos: The BIG LIE is a fake and so is Mike Lindell.

What the fuck does a pillow manufacturer and teevee pitchman know about election data? Not a damn thing. It makes me want to weep Tears On My Pillow:

Before Mike Lindell became a Trump wingman, a friend of mine bought one of his fakakta pillows. They were not impressed. They said it felt as if there were:

Not my pillow, The My Pillow Guy’s pillow. Mike Lindell’s product sucks as badly as his politics.

Salesmen have a bad rap because of people like the Kaiser of Chaos and The My Pillow Guy. They lie easily and often. The lies used to be about silly things like steaks or pillows. Now they lie about elections and how dead left-wing dictators and live Chinese commies stole the 2020 election for Joe Biden. And that is why Mike Lindell, The My Pillow Guy is malaka of the week.

Pay up, Pillow Guy.

The last word goes to John Lee Hooker:


One thought on “Malaka Of The Week: The My Pillow Guy

  1. I cannot mute this annoying a’hole’s commercials fast enough! He drives me absolutely insane.

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