Monthly Archives: February 2008


Who would Jesus want to die of cancer?

Seriously, talk about your short-sighted horseshit. Culture of life my round rosy ass.


The Trick Is Not To Mind It

I think Amanda is in large partcorrect here:

Amy has a hypothesis. “If only,” it goes, “Democrats acknowledged that abortion is a difficult decision with moral dimensions and said they were Christians, then they would get all these votes of people who badly want to vote for them, but need to hear these magic words.”

Luckily, you can apply that hypothesis to the real world. Let’s say Democratic politicians quit crowing about their atheism and their love of abort—

What’s that you say? Democrats already talk god and moral complexity. And we haven’t gotten that 40% of the vote yet?

The trick, as I’m coming to realize as I talk to more and more of my Republican family members, is to recognize when someone is offering a point as an argument and when he or she is offering it as an excuse why they don’t agree with you already. To put it less nicely, as I said to someone who pulled the whole “Democrats suck, but let’s not talk politics” dodge on me at dinner recently, “You don’t want to engage in democracy, you just want to gloat.” It’s a big difference, and I’d be willing to argue Amy has no idea what I’m talking about right now.

This isn’t just about Amy, it’s about every Professional Concern Troll hawking a book claiming that if only Democrats listened him and appealed to some mythical constituency they’d win elections by landslides. It’s about every anecdote offered in every story about “soccer moms” “NASCAR dads” “beer and wine voters” and other bullshit faux-trends about how “I would be a Democrat if they’d just pay attention to THIS” which anybody with half a brain realizes isn’t an answer that offers any clues to anything about them other than what they pull out of their ass when the Professional Concern Troll’s research assistant or grad student asks them why they’re not Democrats. The real trick is realizing that they’re not Democrats in the first place (or they wouldn’t be asked the question) and in all likelihood they never will be. If they were gonna be Democrats they’d just be Democrats instead of coming up with reasons why they’re not. Taking their answers to provide clues to the great Mystery of the Unknown Voter is like extrapolating the potential causes of life on Mars by picking through your neighbor’s garbage bins. You might find something useful in there, sure, but you’re not likely to find anything really applicable to the question at hand.

And you know, I’m about done with it. I’m about done with trying to figure out how best to apologize for being right in order to make Republicans like me. We just have to be what we’re about, and if people like us they like us. Judging from Democratic turnout on the trail these days they seem to like us fine. The next time someone comes around with a sheaf of paper proving how we can make a hundred new friends, instead of sitting her down for a very sober interview about how best to fuck ourselves in the political ass, we ought to point to the thousands of friends we already have, and say we’re fine here, now, thanks, how are you?


Today On Holden’s Obsession With The Gaggle

Dana Don’t Know!

Q The U.S. military conducted 19 focus groups throughout Iraq last November, and its report on those focus groups stated that Iraqis from every ethnic and sectarian group are united in the belief that the U.S. invasion is the root cause of the sectarian violence in Iraq, and that the departure of the U.S. military is the key to national reconciliation. And I wondered, has the President seen the military’s report on those focus groups?

MS. PERINO: I don’t know if he has. I haven’t either, and I’d refer you to DOD because I don’t know the accuracy of that.

Shafted By His Hand-Holding Saudi Pals

Q Finally, just one more on this, Dana. When the President was in the Middle East, he asked the Saudis to consider doing something about supplies. Has there ever been any response to that, any —

MS. PERINO: In terms of from OPEC?

Q Yes.

MS. PERINO: Well, I don’t know about any of the private conversations that have gone on back and forth, but obviously, given the situation that we have today, and that the reason increase in gasoline prices is being directly linked to a supply issue in regards to crude oil, we remain concerned.


Q But OPEC didn’t help us. OPEC declined after the President’s discussion with the Saudis — OPEC declined to raise production.

MS. PERINO: Obviously this is — this was their decision. And the President is not going to be able to just go over there and open up the spigot. We have to work with our partners.


Q So why aren’t they helping us?

MS. PERINO: Kevin.

Your Daily Les

Q Thank you. When asked last night about the endorsement of him by Louis Farrakhan, Senator Obama replied that Farrakhan’s anti-Semitism is, “reprehensible,” and that he had not sought Farrakhan’s endorsement. And my question: This statement by Senator Obama deserves White House approval, doesn’t it?

MS. PERINO: I’m not going to comment in any way on the ’08 election.

Q You’re going to avoid this? Won’t you commend him? Don’t you think he should be commended?

MS. PERINO: If you want to ask two questions, you should make sure they’re two that I can answer.

Today on Athenae’s Obsession with John McCain’s MySpace

Y’all thought I was kidding (warning, sound at the link, and not good sound, either, it’s like “America, are you ready to rock but not too hard?!!!”):

First, from the whitest white boy ever, and this is me saying this:

This is a real azz mo fo right hurr. F the haterz that say he isn’t this or isnt that…they aren’t to bright…this is my main ninja right hurr…VIVA MCCAIN, the next president of the United States of America

Next, in the Department of You Know, If It’s Not Gonna Interfere With Your Dinner Plans, or Anything:

Save America if you can!

Then we have Subtle Isn’t Your Strong Suit Part 1:

Fuck those bastards at the New York Times, right in their faces.

And Part 2:

Tell Huckabee To Stop Stealing Votes. Lol Hes A Knat! Sir, You Are Our next President! I Will Be Honered To Serve Underneath You,As A United States Soldier!

I don’t even know what that last one means. This dude is apparently out of candidates:

I was originally a Fred Head and then went for Romney but when you won Florida and as Romeny dropped out I realize you are the only person for the job.

And then the threats begin:

If your not the next President…I’m gonna flip out

If the above is thebefore picture …

This is way more fun than the Freepi.


Today On Holden’s Obsession With The Gaggle

Shorter Dana Peroxide: I’m Not A Statistician

Q We’re coming on to the fifth anniversary of our invasion of Iraq, and two years ago the President summed up the number of Iraqis possibly dead as a result of that to 30,000. Do you have any new estimate now for summing up of this war?

MS. PERINO: I don’t with me, Helen, no.


Q A British research organization said about a million Iraqis have died as a result.

MS. PERINO: I don’t know if that’s accurate.

Continue reading

Your President Speaks!

Today, at theWhite House.

Launching Weapons To Us

Regimes that adhere to extremist ideologies, which may have the capability of launching weapons to those of us who love freedom, they’re the threats to peace.

What NATO Has Go To Be

NATO has got to be in a position to deal with the true threats of the 21st century.

Thanks, Willingness!

And I thank your willingness to send troops into Afghanistan.

Making The Case Of

Obviously, this is a complicated issue that requires the United States, one, to make the case of why a missile defense is needed in the first place; that it is aimed to bring stability to Europe; that it’s important for mutual security; that it fits into the concept of NATO; and will honor the sovereignty of the Czech Republic or Poland.

Drain Bamage

We will be coming to their country — under what conditions, how will people conduct themselves — and these are all very legitimate questions that the Prime Minister is asking.

Can’t Count To Six

What you probably want to know is the three words. I’m not going to tell you.I am not going to tell you — that’s five words, I tell you, I’m not going to do the three.

A Weapon Capable Of Developing A Nuclear Warhead

If some of these countries develop a weapon that’s capable of developing a nuclear warhead, free nations, nations such as Russia, do not want to be in a position of political blackmail.

He’s A Sic Man, Stretch

We believe in free societies and we believe it will eventually lead to peace, but there’s no — no border has been withdrawn [sic] in that sense, Stretch. It’s a — Kosovo is a — Kosovo’s borders have been clearly defined.

Belief Network

And it’s expired because people want to take class action lawsuits against private phone carriers and other companies that have — were believed to have helped us protect America. It’s not fair to say to a company that was believed to have helped us, it’s important for you to help us, and then you get sued for billions of dollars.

The Global War On Articles Continues

The law is expired, but my fellow citizens must understand the threat to America has not expired. And our citizens who are paying attention to this debate must understand, without law America will be more vulnerable to attack.

Democrat Vote

Democrats and Republicans supported this law, and the House leaders must bring it to the floor, where it will pass with both Republican and Democrat vote.

Forget the Freepi

I think I just found a new obsession. The comments on Janet Huckabee’s MySpace:

We are praying for you and Mike and that America will come to her senses and elect God’s man for our Nation…Mike Huckabee!! God bless you both!!!

I wrote a song in support of your husband – check my myspace and you can listen to it!

Anything to help out Mike!


I know without a doubt that God has chosen Mike to be our next President! I also know that Satan has stopped at nothing to keep him from becoming our President! That is why those tornados touched down in Arkansas and in Tennesee on Super Tuesday! Satan was trying to keep people from going to the polls but praise God it didn’t work!

Janet, as 1st Lady of the United Sates of America would you support bills that would be nothing more than genocide to the Great AMERICAN Pit Bull and other animal breeds? To many people in America their dogs are their family.

I have been doing much fasting and praying for Mike and the Lord has revealed some things to me. He revealed these things to me on Wednesday morning! 1. He has indeed ordained Mike for this time! 2. Satan is out to stop him from going further in this election. 3. This year has been the beginning of the greatest spiritual war we have ever been in. 4. Mike has been chosen to be a voice for Him in these latter part of the last days! 5. Mike and Obama are a representation of the spiritual war that is raging. Mike represents God and His holy angels and Obama represents Satan and his evil spirits. That’s why it only makes sense for Obama and Mike to be the 2 nominees come November! 6. He told me to keep interceding for Mike and keep praying for the eyes of the american people to be opened to the truth which is that McCain is not the right choice as president! 7. McCain is the vessel that Satan is using to decieve people.

Seriously, from now on it’s Athenae’s Obsession with Republican MySpaces.


Your President Speaks!

Today, inWashington.

Say A Clear Message

And the trade bill with Colombia would say a clear message to a strong democratic ally: We support you; we support you in your efforts.

The Global War On Articles Continues

It would send a chilling signal to our allies, and it would harm national security of the United States.

Don’t Bogart The Columbian Goods!

Many of the Colombian goods come into our country duty-free, it seems like we ought to be treated the same way by sending our products into their countries.

What People Do A Lot Of Time

A lot of time people think about trade, it’s just an economic issue.

Fun with Photos

Hee hee.

I’ve been wanting to do that for a little while. I’m surprised no one’s beaten me to the punch. And, just like the writings of Gabriel García Márquez, the career of John McCain depends upon elements of history, magical realism, and purebullshit fiction.


Winner of the Academy Award for Best Documentary Short Subject.Via Pam’s House Blend.


Benchamrks, Bitches!

[sniff] Thank you, Surge.

Iraq’s presidential council rejected Wednesday a measure setting up provincial elections — seen as a key step to develop Iraq’s nascent democracy — in the latest setback to U.S.-backed national reconciliation efforts.

Oh No! We Suck Again!

Huge jump in foreclosures.

The number of homes facing foreclosure jumped 57 percent in January compared to a year ago, with lenders increasingly forced to take possession of homes they couldn’t unload at auctions, a mortgage research firm said Monday.

Nationwide, some 233,001 homes received at least one notice from lenders last month related to overdue payments, compared with 148,425 a year earlier, according to Irvine, Calif.-based RealtyTrac Inc. Nearly half of the total involved first-time default notices.


The U.S. foreclosure rate last month was one filing for every 534 homes.

The Cape Coral-Fort Myers area in Florida posted the highest foreclosure rate of any metro area in the nation, with one of every 86 homes in some stage of foreclosure, said RealtyTrac Inc.

Stockton, Calif., was ranked second, with one of every 97 homes involved in a foreclosure filing, while the Riverside-San Bernardino metro area in Southern California had the third-highest foreclosure rate with filings for one of every 101 properties.

January’s tally represented an 8 percent hike from December.


Welcome to theBush Economy.

Inflation at the wholesale level soared in January by the fastest pace in 16 years, pushed higher by rising costs for food, energy and medicine.

The Labor Department said Tuesday that wholesale prices rose 1 percent last month, more than double the 0.4 percent increase that economists had been expecting.

The worse-than-expected performance was certain to capture attention at the Federal Reserve, which has chosen to combat a threatened recession by aggressively cutting interest rates in the belief that weaker economic growth will keep a lid on prices.

But the combination of rising inflation and weaker growth raises the threat of “stagflation,” the economic malady that plagued the country through the 1970s, when a series of oil shocks left households battered by the twin problems of stagnant growth and rising prices.


With the January jump, wholesale prices have risen over the past 12 months by 7.5 percent, the fastest increase since the fall of 1981, when the country was in a deep recession.

The big jump in wholesale prices followed a worse-than-expected increase in consumer prices, which rose by 0.4 percent last month as consumers got hit by higher costs in the same areas of food, energy and health care.

The wholesale report said that energy prices jumped 1.5 percent, reflecting a 2.9 percent rise in gasoline and an even bigger 8.5 percent jump in the cost of home heating oil.

Food prices, which have been surging because of increased demand stemming from ethanol production, rose by 1.7 percent last month, the biggest monthly increase in three years. Prices for beef, bakery products and eggs were all up sharply.

Core wholesale inflation, which excludes food and energy, posted a 0.4 percent increase, the biggest increase in 11 months. This gain was led by a 1.5 percent spike in the cost of prescription and non-prescription drugs.

Pony Me, Bitches!

CBS News/New YorkTimes Poll:

Bush Job Approval
Approve: 30%
Disapprove: 64%

Ouch. Ouch, ouch, ouch.

Ouch. A piece of bad news wrapped up in protein.*

Influenza virus: Approximately 100 nanometers in size.
Me: Approximately 1.75*109 nanometers in size

So how is it that something so tiny can make me feel so very, very awful? Lousy not-quite-living jerks. I’ll have more in a few days, when I feel like moving again.

*Thank you, Sir Peter Medawar

Today On Holden’s Obsession With The Gaggle

Dana Peroxide Is Back, Just In Time For Another Helenization

Q Is the President’s position that he would veto it without retroactive immunity?

MS. PERINO: That has been his position for a long time, and the reason is because you can’t have — without the cooperation of the companies, we won’t have a program


Q Who gave them the right to break the law?

MS. PERINO: Nobody broke the law, Helen. That might be your opinion, but nobody broke the law.

Q When these companies — when no warrant is given, and they didn’t break the law?

MS. PERINO: Helen, you’re entitled to your opinion, but you’re not entitled to your own set of facts.

Q Oh, come on, let’s —

MS. PERINO: And the facts are that companies were asked to help, and they were helped —

Q Why can’t they get —

MS. PERINO: — and they allowed — they helped with a legal program that has helped save lives.

Q Who told them they could break the law?

MS. PERINO: That is just — that’s not true, Helen.

Continue reading