Monthly Archives: February 2013

Shorter Antonin Scalia

From Album4


“It’s all those good white authorities in Shelby County and elsewhere who are the REAL victims.”

Actually, and I’ve said this in comments here at First Draft and elsewhere, watching Tony waddle off into his dotage in a fizzle of petulance is a good thing. Whether deserved or not — probably not — Scalia was presumed to have at least some intellectual heft. But certainly since Bush v. Gore and possibly earlier, he’s demonstrated clearly that he’s just another wingnut hack. A dangerous one, to be sure, and damn if I wish he wasn’t almost anywhere except the bench, but I’ll take anything that drops him down a peg.

Meanwhile, out in the real world (from Ed Kilgore) here’s what’s actually happening in regions covered under Section Five.

Malaka Of The Week: Bob Woodward

I usually try not to pile on someone
who’s getting their ass kicked by lots of people. There are, of
course, exceptions to every rule and this is one of them. I am old enough to
remember when Bob Woodward was a jewel in the crown of American journalism. His
work in the 1970’s merited the hype and accolades. The worm (no, not Dennis
Rodman) turned with Woodward’s book about Reagan’s CIA director
Bill Casey wherein Bob-O may have concocted a deathbed conversation with the
aged spook. Things then went from bad to worse, which is why he is malaka of
the week.

You’ve all heard about Woodward’s
claim about what the President knew about sequestration and when he knew it.
(Deliberate Watergate reference.) Woodward went on to argue that Obama should ignore/violate
the law and strong-arm Congress into saying Uncle. A curious position for a man
who helped drive Tricky Dick from office but Woodward is beyond logic these
days. He shares the odd disdain that many Washington insiders have for Barack
Obama. I guess the Prez should spend more time in his jammies at sleepovers at
Bob’s crib…

If that weren’t malakatude enough,
there’s the artist formerly known as Wodstein’s claim that an un-named White
House aide had threatened him. Bob’s claim gave the wingnut media and
blogosphere the vapors. Then it turned out to be a warning from Obama adviser Gene
Sperling that Woodward would be sorry for going off half-cocked. That’s all
there was to it, y’all. Additionally, Sperling is a middle-aged white guy with more
than one chin who hasn’t scared anyone in his years as an aide to Clinton and
Obama. Gene Fucking Sperling, the enforcer? Please Bob. He’s no Chuck Colson.
Hell, he’s barely even a Jeb Magruder or Dwight Chapin…

I started off writing this post with
a buncha, buncha burning hyperlinks but decided not to do the old cut and
paste. Why? Too lazy I guess, just like Woodward who is too lazy to double check
his sources and make sure he knows what the fuck he’s talking about.

Woodward has long been discredited
by his role in propagandizing Bush and Cheney’s war but I still have some pangs
when I seeAll The President’s Men, The Final Days andThe Brethren
sitting dusty in the big ass cedar bookcase in my study. They’re now relics of
a by-gone era when Woodward was a giant instead of a malaka. That, however, is
what he is. He’s clearly a charter member of the malakatude hall of fame,
fallen idols division.

Thursday Night Music: Up Above My Head

It’s Tharpe time again, ya’ll. First, Sister Rosetta performing this signature song on teevee:

Second, the Jayhawks at a sound check:

Pulp Fiction Thursday: Odds Against Tomorrow

Odds Against Tomorrowis a beautifully shot and well acted late period film noir from 1959. It’s a combination caper/social commentary flick produced by star Harry Belafonte. It features yet another skilled variation on Robert Ryan’s villainous shtick as a racist sociopath. It’s director Robert Wise’s last edgy indie film before he went over to the mainstream dark side and directed <sigh>The Sound Of Music among others. Wise pulled out all the stops here and delivered a helluva film before donning lederhosen…

The movie is based on a pretty darn good pulp novel byWilliam P. McGivern:

Odds-against-tomorrow-book

Here are 2 lobby card variations. One of them is kind of blurry but it’s a great image so what’s a bit of blurriness among friends?

Oddsagainst tomorrow

Odds against Tomorrow

Here’s the trailer, which gets the release date wrong:

Pulp Fiction Thursday: Odds Against Tomorrow

Odds Against Tomorrowis a beautifully shot and well acted late period film noir from 1959. It’s a combination caper/social commentary flick produced by star Harry Belafonte. It features yet another skilled variation on Robert Ryan’s villainous shtick as a racist sociopath. It’s director Robert Wise’s last edgy indie film before he went over to the mainstream dark side and directed <sigh>The Sound Of Music among others. Wise pulled out all the stops here and delivered a helluva film before donning lederhosen…

The movie is based on a pretty darn good pulp novel by William P. McGivern:

Odds-against-tomorrow-book

Here are 2 lobby card variations. One of them is kind of blurry but it’s a great image so what’s a bit of blurriness among friends?

Oddsagainst tomorrow

Odds against Tomorrow

Here’s the trailer, which gets the release date wrong:

Shorter Antonin Scalia

FromAlbum4


“It’s all those good white authorities in Shelby County and elsewhere who are the REAL victims.”

Actually, and I’ve said this in comments here at First Draft and elsewhere, watching Tony waddle off into his dotage in a fizzle of petulance is a good thing. Whether deserved or not — probably not — Scalia was presumed to have at least some intellectual heft. But certainly since Bush v. Gore and possibly earlier, he’s demonstrated clearly that he’s just another wingnut hack. A dangerous one, to be sure, and damn if I wish he wasn’t almost anywhere except the bench, but I’ll take anything that drops him down a peg.

Meanwhile, out in the real world (from Ed Kilgore) here’s what’s actually happening inregions covered under Section Five.

The Children

The Children-Halberstam

I just finished reading David Halberstam’s great 1999 bookThe Children for the first time. I’m not sure why it took me so long to read it since Halberstam is one of my heroes and I’m deeply interested in the history of the Civil Rights Movement but better late than never.

The timing is also somewhat fortuitous because the SNCC “children” of the title were responsible for the Nashville sit-ins, the Freedom Rides and the Selma March, a series of epic events that helped lead to the passage of the 1965 Voting Rights Act. That is, in turn,a big story today because the Supremes took up an Alabama case that wants to rip out the heart of that act, Section 5. Discrimination? What discrimination? We have a black President, what more do *those* people want?Sorry, for channeling Justice Scalia but his “crazy wingnut uncle who watches Fox News all day” shtick is contagious, y’all.

Crazy Nino has stopped caring about his public image as a judge who believe in judicial restraint. If he were *actually* a true conservative, he’d defer to Congress instead of going off like Archie Bunker the first time he met George Jefferson, but Crazy Nino is too far gone for that. Here’s hoping that at least one of the conservative Justices can read the election results instead of trying to dictate them, and the Court upholds this vital provision.

Back toThe Children. It’s a must read. For me, reading (and re-reading) Halberstam is like hanging out with an old friend who writes long sentences and is obsessed with semi-colons. That may be contagious since I write some rather epic sentences and tend to be at least semi-high colonic as well.<rim shot> Anyway, nobody writes narrative non-fiction prose quite as well as Halberstam and his biographical snap shots of his “characters” are unsurpassable.

Dr. A and I saw Halberstam speak at the Louisiana Book Festival in Red Stick one year. It took place in the state house chamber and I halfway expected someone to offer me a bribe or to shake me down for one. As I said before, Halberstam was one of my idols so Dr. A suggested that I chat him up. I couldn’t do it, I was afraid that I’d babble like an idiot a la Ralph Kramden going “humina humina.” I wish that I’d given it the old college try but I did not.

One more thing aboutThe Children. John Lewis is one of the central figures in the book. I didn’t think it was possible for me to admire him more than I already did but it happened upon reading this book. I knew that he was a remarkable man but he is also genuinely humble as you may have noticed if you saw him with Rachel Maddow tonight. (When he told Rachel he was honored to be there, he meant it.) If I were him, I’d be a raging egomaniac but John Lewis remains the same modest kid who grew up in racist rural Alabama and became an American hero. Strike that. John Lewis is an American super hero.

Van Cliburn, R.I.P.

The great classical pianist Van Cliburn has died at the age of 78. He became an American icon and cold war hero without firing a shot:

In April 1958, Mr. Cliburn went to Moscow at the height of the Cold
War and brought home the gold medal in the new Tchaikovsky International
Piano Competition for his rendition of the composer’s Concerto No. 1.
The contest had been established to showcase the Russian superiority in
culture, a mere six months after the scientific triumph of launching
Sputnik, the first space satellite.

Mr. Cliburn’s performance —
the crystalline touch, the welling songfulness — prompted an
eight-minute standing ovation. But such were the political tensions of
the time, the judges of the competition checked with Soviet Premier
Nikita Khrushchev before announcing their decision to give the prize to a
non-Soviet musician.

“Is he the best?” Khrushchev is said to have replied. “Then give him the prize!”

And Nikita knew from long-hair music. Maybe not, he was a short, squat and bald prole after all…

Here’s Van the man tickling the ivories:

Better Call Saul!


http://www.youtube-nocookie.com/v/jvlEqAjg8aU?hl=en_US&version=3



(crossposted at driftglass blog)

One of the predictable and hilarious side-effects of the Big Conservative Project to Destroy American has been that even the most proficient cookers and dealers of wingnut meth have started snorting/ shooting/ smoking/ pontificating their own product.


And the results aren’t pretty.


Not

http://www.youtube-nocookie.com/v/ezIvy0LfgDo?version=3&hl=en_US



Pretty

http://www.youtube-nocookie.com/v/dhmTCmLZKMs?version=3&hl=en_US



At

http://www.youtube-nocookie.com/v/dHn3Lr9xHc8?version=3&hl=en_US



All

http://www.youtube-nocookie.com/v/c7LlBzrPbRs?version=3&hl=en_US


Which why the Rightcould not survive for a single day as a cohesive political and cultural force without their Very Serious Centrist enablers in the mainstream media. Because when you have fucked up as radically, frequently and publicly as Conservatives have, you don’t need a public defender: you need a god damn, battle-hardened, professional dissembler whose lies come fast and easy, in Very Reasonable tones, nested one inside the next inside the next like an infinite series of Russian puzzle dolls.

You need a top-shelf, C-class, muthafuckin’artistewho can get caught red-handed (or baboon-assed) shitting himself in the village square at high noon, and by 12:05 can completely change the subject to a new and excitingly different lie altogether.



Fromjust about the only readable scrap of the WaPo still standing (emphasis added):

The Morning Plum: The false equivalence pundits are part of the problem
Posted by Greg Sargent on February 26, 2013 at 9:12 am


We’re now seeing a third technique appear: Acknowledge that Republicans are the uncompromising party, but assert that it’s ultimately on the President to figure out a way to either force Republicans to drop their intransigence or to otherwise “lead” them out if it.
Case in point: David Brooks. Last week Brooks waswidely criticized for a “pox on both house” column in which he based his entire argument on the falsehood that Obama has no plan. Brooks repented for his error, andtoday he offers a good faith effort to describe what he’d like Obama to do to change things. It boils down to this:
My dream Obama wouldn’t be just one gladiator in the zero-sum budget wars. He’d transform the sequester fight by changing the categories that undergird it. He’d possess the primary ingredient of political greatness: imagination. The great presidents, like Teddy Roosevelt, see situations differently. They ask different questions. History pivots around their terms.
I’ll leave it to you to decide whether the prescriptions Brooks offers would really change the current dynamic, but at bottom, the suggestion that it’s all on the president to figure out a way to persuade Republicans to drop their intransigence is still a dodge. The idea that the President can necessarily bend Congress to his will is indeed a “dream.” It doesn’t reckon with the most fundamental question at the heart of all of this: What if there isnothing whatsoever that can be done by the president or anyone else to break the GOP out of its no-compromising stance? This isn’t an unreasonable reading of the situation; it’s what Republicans themselves have confirmed, publicly and on the record — they willnot concede a penny in new revenues, no matter what. And if this is the case — if the fundamental problem is that Republicans really do prefer the sequester to any compromise — isn’t it incumbent on commentators to explain this clearly and forthrightly to their readers?

When your business is cooking the wingnut meth that powers the Big Conservative Project to Destroy American, you don’t want a criminal lawyer.



You want acriminallawyer.

Deep Jindal Thought

I must admit that this post title is a genuine oxymoron. For a guy who wants the GOP to stop being the stupid party, PBJ spends most of his time swimming in the shallow end of the intellectual pool.Time to quote Dave Weigel quoting Politico quoting PBJ on the Voting Rights Act:

“Unlike the Democratic Party, we’re not trying to divide the American
people,” Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal said Monday when asked by POLITICO
about the race-related and gay rights issues the court is tackling. “The
reality is as Republicans we want to unify the country. … We don’t
think demographics is destiny. We treat everybody as an individual.”

I have no idea what he means by this but neither does he since Republicans have *specialized* in wedge issues since the days of Tail Gunner Joe and Tricky Dick. PBJ’s reputation as a Brainiac continues to mystify me. Perhaps he benefits from positive stereotypes about Indian-Americans or something. He does, however, talk real fast so maybe that’s it.

That is all.

Today on Tommy T’s Obsession with the Freeperati – image issues edition

Good morning, everyone – well, I was gonna pull a Tbogg and threaten to quit this popcorn stand (so Athenae could talk me down and stroke my ego a little), but Ms. A isn’t answering her phone, and all my letters are coming back with “not at this address” stamped on them, except for the last one, which bore the legend “Who the fuck are you, anyway?”.

Probably the commie Post Office workers preparing for their upcoming every-Saturday Baccanalia.

Anywhoo, since there’s no one to tender my resignation to, I might as well go to work and pray someone’s still paying the electric bill for the containment building,

The blogs have been all a-fire with snark about the GOP’s effort to rebrand themselves, so let’s look at Freeperville’s attempt to get in on the remodeling craze, shall we?

First up –wrestling with their image!

The WWE’s Tea Party Wrestler Is Making Conservatives Hit the Mat

Atlantic ^


Posted on Thursday, February 21, 2013 11:09:41 PM by Arthurio

CONNOR SIMPSON 5,918 ViewsF EB 20, 2013

The WWE’s new bad guys
in town are not-so-loosely inspired by the Tea Party, and that has
conservative commentators not-so-quietly complaining that the company is
bringing back a movement already under siege from Karl Rove — this time
in one of the country’s most curious of conservative spotlights, and as
a couple of outwardly racist xenophobes who want to send Mexicans back
across the border. Even if that was kind of the whole point.

On
the February 11 episode of Monday Night Raw — frequently the highest
rated cable show in the country — the fake-wrestling franchise
re-introduced “Real American” Jack Swagger, after a few months off, with
a new gimmick. He had longer, messier hair, a mean scowl, and a
newfound hype man. Swagger’s faux-manager, not so accidentally named
Zebadiah Colter, sported a bushy hunter’s beard and wore a beige vest as
he yelled to the crowd: “What’s wrong with America?” Colter then
explained that he “doesn’t recognize” today’s America. He said he saw
people with faces “not like mine” and heard people that “can’t even talk
to me,” and he screamed out again to the Nashville audience and the
Americans at home: “Where did all these people come from?” And then
Colter, who’s used other surnames to fit his gimmick in the past, threw
out some catchphrases familiar to any Tea Party observer — “We, the
people” was prominent — and made a point to stress, over and over, that
he and Swagger were “real Americans.” Oh, did the crowd ever boo.
Swagger and Colter are supposed to be the WWE’s big new bad guys, and
they drew “heat” from the crowd, as wrestling people say. They hated
him.

1
posted on Thursday, February 21, 2013 11:09:51 PM
by Arthurio
This should go over well.

To: Arthurio

Kind of makes me glad I cancelled the cable.

2
posted on Thursday, February 21, 2013 11:14:33 PM
by fkabuckeyesrule

Yep – ever since Fox cancelled Red Eye and Atlas Slugged went Galt at the box office, there’s just no quality programming any more.

To: Arthurio

Except he got busted for pot yesterday so he fits Occupy better.

3
posted on Thursday, February 21, 2013 11:16:10 PM
by struggle
(http://killthegovernment.wordpress.com/)

What a great idea! And his arch -nemesis could be Bankster Bob!
GreedLantern
.

To: Arthurio

Just another TV character being used to slime and insult conservatives. What is so new?

10
posted on Thursday, February 21, 2013 11:31:52 PM
by GeronL
(http://asspos.blogspot.com)

Nothing new at all. Stupid people who trip over their own preconceptions and fall on their asses has been grist for the comedy mill since – well – forever.

To: Arthurio

and how many FReepers thought the McMahon family would not do something like this? lol

11
posted on Thursday, February 21, 2013 11:33:09 PM
by GeronL
(http://asspos.blogspot.com)

To: Arthurio

And he was arrested yesterday in Mississippi for weed
possession..f’n idiot..the only reason why Vince McMahon is doing this
is revenge for the Tea Party not supporting his RINO wife

13
posted on Thursday, February 21, 2013 11:40:06 PM
by Sarah Barracuda

Linda McMahon –RINO!

To: Arthurio

I may be alone with this, but this angle doesn’t offend me in the
least. Its just to put over Alberto Del Rio, who’s a top notch
performer.

15
posted on Thursday, February 21, 2013 11:50:18 PM
by goodolemr

BanHim3
.

To: Arthurio

They are taking a great American sport and using its genuine athletic competition and mocking the conservative movement.

6
posted on Thursday, February 21, 2013 11:19:31 PM
by OKRA2012

Wait for it…

To: Arthurio; a fool in paradise; Slings and Arrows

Lucha Libre is an All-American sport! Like roller derby, cockfighting and ladies mud wrestling! MSM better stay away from them!

19
posted on Friday, February 22, 2013 12:00:36 AM
by Revolting cat!
(Bad things are wrong! Ice cream is delicious!)

Well, hopefully the rebrandening will go better after the jump, which I have now rebranded “The link that clicks on itself so you don’t have to!”
Oh well, click on the frigging link, already.

Continue reading

Tagged , , , , ,

Tuesday Night Music: Dreadlock Holiday

Here’s another one for our vacationing editrix and her hubby. I’d pay to see Mr. A with dreads, mon:

The Sound Of Music Effect?

It is still news of the weird time here at First Draft. This odd info was cribbed from a column by one of my favorite writers at the Guardian, Simon Hoggart:

We have friends from our days in Washington who have always been
involved in foreign affairs and diplomacy. They have long experience,
and would like some more – perhaps by his becoming an ambassador. The
most desired posts – London, Paris, Beijing, Tokyo, etc – are out of
reach because they always go to the big fundraisers, usually with a
career diplomat at their elbow telling them what to do. Our friends
would be happy with something quite modest. But they are in competition
with hundreds, perhaps thousands of others. And the process is
incredibly lengthy and complicated. A single ill-wisher in the state
department or the White House can ruin your chances. Even having a close
chum in a position of power does not necessarily help. Some time ago,
the wife reported: “We were on track for a multilateral position in
Vienna, till we received a call from our best friend in White House
personnel. Things could go sideways for us. Why? Because The Sound Of
Music had just been shown on network TV, leading to ‘a new surge of
interest in Austria’.”

I am legendary for my loathing of this film even though I like the composers, director and stars. There’s just something about it that inspires OTT hatred on my part.

Back to the Ambassadorial angle. Simon’s piece has implanted images in my head of wealthy Dems strolling about Foggy Bottom whilst wearing lederhosen and imitating Wolfgang Puck. Perhaps the best Puck impersonator should get the job or they should have a Sound Of Music sing-off or some such shit.

Ah, the things I think about first thing in the morning, which evokes a Rogers and Hammerstein song from a better musical:

Morrissey ducks Duck Dynasty

Tdy-130226-morrisey-duck-dynasty.380;380;7;70;0
Image courtesy of the Clicker.

I’ve only seen Duck Dynasty a few times but I know it involves dudes from Monroe, LA will long ZZ Top-style beards.I’m not sure if their fellow Monrovian and frequent FD commenter, Mass, is proud of them but Morrissey clearly is not:

The TV series “Duck Dynasty” is coming between Morrissey and Jimmy Kimmel.

The singer and animal rights activist says he canceled his appearance Tuesday on ABC’s “Jimmy Kimmel Live” because “Duck Dynasty” cast members will be on the talk show.

Morrissey says he can’t perform on a show with what he called people who “amount to animal serial killers.”

A&E’s “Duck Dynasty” reality show follows a Louisiana family with a business selling duck calls and decoys.

A&E did not immediately respond to requests for comment from it and the Robertson family.

A person familiar with the Kimmel show’s plans confirmed that
Morrissey was to appear. The person lacked authority to discuss the
matter publicly and spoke on condition of anonymity.

The person says Morrissey’s performance will be rescheduled.

ABC says the Churchill band will perform Tuesday on Kimmel’s show but declined comment on the switch.

Morrissey is not known for his sense of humor but he is famous for the tune below so I’ll let the humorlessness slide. He may be pompous but he *is* principled:

Hmm, I wonder if his estranged ex-bandmate Johnny Marr will chime in.Probably not, he’s too busy slagging off on Prime Minister David (Posh Boy) Cameron.

Morrissey ducks Duck Dynasty

Tdy-130226-morrisey-duck-dynasty.380;380;7;70;0
Image courtesy of the Clicker.

I’ve only seenDuck Dynasty a few times but I know it involves dudes from Monroe, LA will long ZZ Top-style beards.I’m not sure if their fellow Monrovian and frequent FD commenter, Mass, is proud of them but Morrissey clearly is not:

The TV series “Duck Dynasty” is coming between Morrissey and Jimmy Kimmel.

The singer and animal rights activist says he canceled his appearance Tuesday on ABC’s “Jimmy Kimmel Live” because “Duck Dynasty” cast members will be on the talk show.

Morrissey says he can’t perform on a show with what he called people who “amount to animal serial killers.”

A&E’s “Duck Dynasty” reality show follows a Louisiana family with a business selling duck calls and decoys.

A&E did not immediately respond to requests for comment from it and the Robertson family.

A person familiar with the Kimmel show’s plans confirmed that
Morrissey was to appear. The person lacked authority to discuss the
matter publicly and spoke on condition of anonymity.

The person says Morrissey’s performance will be rescheduled.

ABC says the Churchill band will perform Tuesday on Kimmel’s show but declined comment on the switch.

Morrissey is not known for his sense of humor but he is famous for the tune below so I’ll let the humorlessness slide. He may be pompous but he *is* principled:

Hmm, I wonder if his estranged ex-bandmate Johnny Marr will chime in.Probably not, he’s too busy slagging off on Prime Minister David (Posh Boy) Cameron.

Quote of the day: Kerry does Berlin edition

Since A is off frolicking on vacay, it’s up to me to post this quite marvelous quote fromBig John, who is in the non-frolicsome German capitol:

“In America, you have a right to be stupid if you want to be,” Kerry said, speaking about how the U.S. deals with [religious] intolerance. “And you have a right to be disconnected to somebody else if you want to be. And we tolerate it. “

Fuck yeah, Mistah Secretary.

Quote of the day: Kerry does Berlin edition

Since A is off frolicking on vacay, it’s up to me to post this quite marvelous quote from Big John, who is in the non-frolicsome German capitol:

“In America, you have a right to be stupid if you want to be,” Kerry said, speaking about how the U.S. deals with [religious] intolerance. “And you have a right to be disconnected to somebody else if you want to be. And we tolerate it. “

Fuck yeah, Mistah Secretary.

The Sound Of Music Effect?

It is still news of the weird time here at First Draft. This odd info was cribbed from a column by one of my favorite writers at theGuardian, Simon Hoggart:

We have friends from our days in Washington who have always been
involved in foreign affairs and diplomacy. They have long experience,
and would like some more – perhaps by his becoming an ambassador. The
most desired posts – London, Paris, Beijing, Tokyo, etc – are out of
reach because they always go to the big fundraisers, usually with a
career diplomat at their elbow telling them what to do. Our friends
would be happy with something quite modest. But they are in competition
with hundreds, perhaps thousands of others. And the process is
incredibly lengthy and complicated. A single ill-wisher in the state
department or the White House can ruin your chances. Even having a close
chum in a position of power does not necessarily help. Some time ago,
the wife reported: “We were on track for a multilateral position in
Vienna, till we received a call from our best friend in White House
personnel. Things could go sideways for us. Why? Because The Sound Of
Music had just been shown on network TV, leading to ‘a new surge of
interest in Austria’.”

I am legendary for my loathing of this film even though I like the composers, director and stars. There’s just something about it that inspires OTT hatred on my part.

Back to the Ambassadorial angle. Simon’s piece has implanted images in my head of wealthy Dems strolling about Foggy Bottom whilst wearing lederhosen and imitating Wolfgang Puck. Perhaps the best Puck impersonator should get the job or they should have aSound Of Music sing-off or some such shit.

Ah, the things I think about first thing in the morning, which evokes a Rogers and Hammerstein song from a better musical:

The Fantod* Menace

I have given up trying to keep an accurate count of the number of entirely artificial crises that the GOP has precipitated over the past 30 years in order to accomplish their goals of A) destroying the federal government of the United States while, B) behaving like absolute dicks every inch of the way and, C) conserving their last breathe to scream “Neener! Neener! Neener!” at the Hated Liberals as the inferno they created consumes the Earth.

Honestly, these people.

Anyway, in case you’re interested and live in Illinois, here is the White House’s best guess (PDF) about how and where the latest fabricated-but-fatal crisis will screw you (if you live elsewhere, here is a link to a link to the whole list):

ILLINOIS IMPACTS
If sequestration were to take effect,
some examples of the impacts on Illinois this year alone are:
  • Teachers and Schools: Illinois will
    lose approximately $33.4 million in funding for primary and secondary education, putting around 460
    teacher and aide jobs at risk. In addition about 39,000 fewer students would be served and
    approximately120 fewer schools would receive funding.
  • Education for Children with
    Disabilities: In addition, Illinois will lose approximately $24.7 million in funds for about 300
    teachers, aides, and staff who help children with disabilities.
  • Work-Study Jobs: Around 3,280 fewer low
    income students in Illinois would receive aid to help them finance the costs of college and
    around 2,650 fewer students will get work-study jobs that help them pay for college.
  • Head Start: Head Start and Early Head
    Start services would be eliminated for approximately 2,700 children in Illinois, reducing
    access to critical early education.
  • Protections for Clean Air and Clean
    Water: Illinois would lose about $6.4 million in environmental funding to ensure clean
    water and air quality, as well as prevent pollution from pesticides and hazardous waste. In
    addition, Illinois could lose another $974,000 in grants for fish and wildlife protection.
  • Military Readiness: In Illinois,
    approximately 14,000 civilian Department of Defense employees would be furloughed, reducing gross pay
    by around $83.5 million in total.
  • Army: Base operation funding would be
    cut by about $19 million in Illinois.
  • Air Force: Funding for Air Force
    operations in Illinois would be cut by about $7 million.
  • Navy: Four planned Naval Station
    Great Lakes demolition projects ($2 million) could be canceled and a scheduled Blue Angels show in
    Rockford could be canceled.
  • Law Enforcement and Public Safety Funds
    for Crime Prevention and Prosecution: Illinois will lose about $587,000 in Justice
    Assistance Grants that support law enforcement, prosecution and courts, crime prevention and
    education, corrections and community corrections, drug treatment and enforcement, and crime victim and
    witness initiatives.
  • Job Search Assistance to Help those in
    Illinois find Employment and Training: Illinois will lose about $1.4 million in funding for
    job search assistance, referral, and placement, meaning around 50,780 fewer people will get the
    help and skills they need to find employment.
  • Child Care: Up to 1,100 disadvantaged
    and vulnerable children could lose access to child care, which is also essential for working
    parents to hold down a job.
  • Vaccines for Children: In Illinois
    around 5,230 fewer children will receive vaccines for diseases such as measles, mumps, rubella,
    tetanus, whooping cough, influenza, and Hepatitis B due to reduced funding for vaccinations of
    about $357,000.
  • Public Health: Illinois will lose
    approximately $968,000 in funds to help upgrade its ability to respond to public health threats
    including infectious diseases, natural disasters, and biological, chemical, nuclear, and radiological
    events. In addition, Illinois will lose about $3.5 million in grants to help prevent and treat
    substance abuse, resulting in around 3,900 fewer admissions to substance abuse programs. And the
    Illinois State Department of Public Health will lose about $186,000 resulting in around 4,600
    fewer HIV tests.
  • STOP Violence Against Women Program:
    Illinois could lose up to $273,000 in funds that provide services to victims of domestic
    violence, resulting in up to 1,000 fewer victims being served.
  • Nutrition Assistance for Seniors:
    Illinois would lose approximately $764,000 in funds that provide meals for seniors.
* fan·tod

(f n t d )

n.

1.fantods

a.A state of nervous irritability.
b.Nervous movements caused by tension.
2.An outburst of emotion; a fit.

Iran To Hollywood: Argo Fuck Yourself

The last part of the post title is one of the best lines in the entertaining but historically errant best picture winner. The theocratic Iranian government dislikes the movie but does like photoshop. Say what? That’s right, the Iranian news agency Fars photoshopped FLOTUS’ shoulders and guns out of a picture at their web site. Here’s a before and after shot courtesy of the Telegraph:

Obama-oscars-iran_2492515b

Fars or farce in Farsi? You decide.

One more thing. I have an alternate headline for this post,

Iran To Hollywood: Affleck Off.

That is all.