Malaka Of The Week: Machine Gun Santa

The “honor” actually goes to the Scottsdale Gun Club in Arizona. As you can see above, their idea of holiday spirit istaking pictures of heavily armed people with Santa.Holy Machine Gun Baby, Batman. It’s 5 bucks for members and ten for anyone nutty enough to think this is appropriate holiday, as opposed to cannon, fodder. It’s a limited offer, so if you wanna look like an idiot, go to Scottsdale and head to the gun club on December 10th. We missed the November 26th date, alas. Hmm, I wonder if Santa did any turkey shootin’… When I heard of this … Continue reading Malaka Of The Week: Machine Gun Santa

Ignoring the 99 Percent is Not Enough

Now Obama has to walk up to them, slap them in the face with a glove, and declare AS ONE GENTLEMAN TO ANOTHER I CALL YOU A LIAR SIR. And you know what? Probably plenty of sensible pundits will jump right on board with this, saying it will finally prove once and for all that the Democrats really aren’t crazy leftists if they just go ahead and kick their potential base just this one more fucking time. Just once more. We promise. Surely the next time we’ll let them ignore their constituents like they really want to do, instead of … Continue reading Ignoring the 99 Percent is Not Enough

Black Friday’s Instigators

I don’t do Black Friday. I’m hideously claustrophobic and large crowds often set off my I’M TRAPPED MUST GET OUT OMG STABBITY reflex, so pretty much from now until Christmas my shopping will be confined to stores in my ‘hood and online. However, I have relatives who go out at the crack of dawn and take care of their whole list off those sales, who prep all week to line up at 10 p.m. and come home at 3 a.m. having had one hell of a good time. I don’t really have a cat in the Authenticity Olympics here, and … Continue reading Black Friday’s Instigators

Have You Ever Met a Human, Newt?

Honestly: Under Gingrich’s plan, which he has articulated before, the federal government would establish a system of local boards to determine whether illegal immigrants could be permitted to remain in the United States based on their ties to the community. “I propose that we take the World War II model of the selective service program,” Gingrich said. “In World War II, local community citizens judged who ought to be drafted and who shouldn’t . . . . It requires trusting citizens rather than bureaucrats. It’s a jury system for local communities.” The draft being a system that wasnever, ever abused … Continue reading Have You Ever Met a Human, Newt?

We’ll miss you, Barney

One of my favorite members of Congress, Barney Frank, will be retiring after 16 terms. Barney is known for his quick wit and barbed tongue. He was also the first openly gay member of Congress, which made him a frequent target of the biblethumpers and wingnut wackadoodles. Here’s my favorite Barney Frank moment wherein he smacks down a “deather” during a town hall meeting in his district: UPDATE: Here’s a link to TPM’s coverage of Frank’s presser. Continue reading We’ll miss you, Barney

Today on Tommy T’s Obsession with the Freeperati – “It’s so good to be home for the Halalidays” edition

Yeah – I know this was supposed to be a “Putrid Potpourri” edition, but there’s been alarming real-time developments in Freeperville.

You know how every so often a little reality creeps into the eternal ragefest, when they catch themselves during the rage ramp-up and realize they’re being played? This was one of those times. However, the True Believers quickly regroup and counterattack. Suit up, gentle people, because the first offering is –Satanic Butterballs!

Happy Halal Thanksgiving (Boycott Butterball)
American Thinker ^ | November 21, 2011 | Pamela Geller

Posted on Monday, November 21, 2011 8:47:27 PM byMount Athos

Did you know that the turkey you’re going to enjoy on Thanksgiving Day this Thursday is probably halal? If it’s a Butterball turkey, then it certainly is.

I discovered that only two plants in the U.S. that perform halal slaughter keep the halal meat separated from the non-halal meat. At other meat-packing plants, animals are slaughtered following halal requirements, but then only a small bit of the meat is actually labeled halal.

Wendy Howze, a Butterball Consumer Response Representative, responded: “Our whole turkeys are certified halal.”

Halal slaughter involves cutting the trachea, the esophagus, and the jugular vein, and letting the blood drain out while saying “Bismillah allahu akbar” — in the name of Allah the greatest. Many people refuse to eat it on religious grounds.

Others object because of the cruelty to animals that halal slaughter necessitates.

Still others refuse to do so on principle: why should we be forced to conform to Islamic norms? It’s Islamic supremacism on the march, yet again.

Non-Muslims in America and Europe don’t deserve to have halal turkey forced upon them in this way, without their knowledge or consent.

The same Islamic law that mandates that animals be cruelly slaughtered according to halal requirements also teaches hatred of and warfare against unbelievers, the oppression of women, the extinguishing of free speech, and much more that is inimical to our freedom. Don’t support it on this celebration of freedom. Join our Facebook group, ‘Boycott Butterball’.

Don’t buy a Butterball turkey for Thanksgiving.

1 posted on Monday, November 21, 2011 8:47:29 PM byMount Athos
Cue the Freepers who are not convinced that this is ragegasm material:

To: Mount Athos

Too late. Can I make up for it by passing gas in the direction of Mecca?

2 posted on Monday, November 21, 2011 8:50:10 PM byIngtar
To: Mount Athos

Gee, great idea to demand a Butterball Boycott when most people have already bought their birds. That’s like the TV News showing the wild drinking, drugs and sex binges of Spring break 2 weeks after break has taken place. Boycotts seldom work. And most people won’t care much of a drat where the throat was cut, just as long as the bird isn’t still flapping when being stuffed into the oven.

5 posted on Monday, November 21, 2011 8:53:33 PM bytheDentist (fybo; qwerty ergo typo : i type, therefore i misspelll)
To: theDentist

If I boycotted every company that ticked me off I’d be living a subsistence life in a tiny little hut in Montana.

7 posted on Monday, November 21, 2011 8:56:07 PM byMr Ramsbotham (Laws against sodomy are honored in the breech.)
You mean you’renot?
What about the always-imminent SHTF? Are the weapons buried? The gold stacked? The dry provisions catalogued(anyone besides myself ever wonder where the potable water to rehydrate their dried crap is gonna come from once the taps stop running?)?

To: Mount Athos

If you don’t believe in Allah, what difference does it make? Buy Butterball and don’t give away your power. By boycotting you admit it makes a difference.

9 posted on Monday, November 21, 2011 8:57:23 PM byturbocat
To: Mount Athos

Good grief! Why shouldn’t companies provide food that ethnic customers are willing to purchase? Makes for increased sales and a better bottom line. Why punish a company simply because you don’t like the customer base to which it’s trying to expand?

12 posted on Monday, November 21, 2011 9:01:02 PM bySuziQ
Ah – but the True Believers are mounting a counterattack!

To: SuziQ
This I don’t like.

while saying “Bismillah allahu akbar” — in the name of Allah the greatest.

This makes me lose my appetite.

18 posted on Monday, November 21, 2011 9:06:59 PM byDManA


To: DManA
It has been an ancient custom to pray for the animal that’s been sacrificed for your meal. This is not at all peculiar to Moslems. Christian Arabs would traditionally use terminology very similar to that.

So, prayer makes you lose your appetite, or Arabic, or the self-identity of the guy making the prayer?

28 posted on Monday, November 21, 2011 9:15:43 PM bymuawiyah
To: muawiyah

Prayer to a demon does.

29 posted on Monday, November 21, 2011 9:17:54 PM byDManA

To: DManA

Isn’t that the same Mohammedan chant used when they behead Infidels?

51 posted on Monday, November 21, 2011 9:46:48 PM bySERKIT (“Blazing Saddles” explains it all…)
To: Mount Athos

Another tidbit on Halal.All and I repeat all of Costco’s lamb is now halal and their Coleman organic chicken.So since we loved the lamb and the organic chicken this is our last year with Costco. We are looking into Sam’s or BJ’s.

It’s too late. You ate the Satanic lamb chops and your family is going to Hell, you baaa-aaaad man.

Most people just think that Halal is like Kosher. It is not. Kosher slaughter is just a way of processing so all of the blood gets out of the meat. Halal is actually a sacrifice. They point that lamb/turkey in the direction of the Black Rock of Mecca and sacrifice it to Allah. We are all Muslims now.

62 posted on Monday, November 21, 2011 10:26:03 PM byGeorgia Girl 2 (The only purpose of a pistol is to fight your way back to the rifle you should never have dropped.)
“Get thee behind be, thou evil side-dish of Satan!”
Emo Phillips

To: Ruy Dias de Bivar

I absolutely agree with you.

Now that I know what they do with this meat I have a moral choice to make.

69 posted on Monday, November 21, 2011 11:39:50 PM byDManA
To: MontaniSemperLiberi

Thank you. That means something to me. It is a matter of being a good steward of God’sgifts giblets.

68 posted on Monday, November 21, 2011 11:37:23 PM byDManA
So much more after the Islamic order to “Continue Reading, Infidel!”…

Continue reading “Today on Tommy T’s Obsession with the Freeperati – “It’s so good to be home for the Halalidays” edition”

Coco Robicheaux, RIP

Coco Robicheaux was a genuine NOLA character as well as a talented and deeply eccentric musician. The rest of the country got to know him via his appearances onTreme; especially when he did the chicken sacrifice thing. Coco collapsed at his favorite watering hole the other day and died at the age of 64. I ran into Coco from time to time over the years but didn’t know him very well. My friend Sam Jasper, however, did her share of drinking and hanging out with Coco so here’s alink to her beautifully written tribute. Here’s a sample of that hoodoo … Continue reading Coco Robicheaux, RIP

The Rural vs. Urban Divide

It’s not what you think, in Wisconsin: Three hunters turned their truck and trailer around and pulled up to where I stood on the sidewalk. I explained that I was with the Recall Walker campaign. “It’s why we turned around,” the driver said. He had already signed, but his father wanted the chance. First, he checked to see that I had a campaign volunteer badge. “Some people pretending to be with the campaign are destroying petitions,” he said. While his father signed, I told him about the woman losing $200 a month. He held up four fingers. “For me, it’s … Continue reading The Rural vs. Urban Divide

Weekend Question Thread

It’s been a while since we’ve had a big fight, so here’s one: Do you have a cell phone? What kind? I got an Android phone this year and it’s my friend, though I’ve noticed it’s made me much more twitchy in terms of the games you can play on it and the e-mail you can answer and the stuff you can do and it’s not ADD if it looks like work, right? It has made texting easier; I can’t type with the number keys, my thumbs don’t work that fast. A. Continue reading Weekend Question Thread

Little Big Man

You can keep your Black Friday specials, your retail madness and your “Holy shit, I weigh HOW much? It’s time for a diet,” post-Thanksgiving madness. For me, the day after Thanksgiving will always be tied to the moment I learned to believe that the little guy could come up big. — In planning their post-Thanksgiving football games, CBS spent the early part of the summer of 1984 looking at games they believed would be “bullet-proof.” The night game they chose matched an up-and-coming Boston College program against the defending national champions, The Miami Hurricanes. The Hurricanes title defense was off … Continue reading Little Big Man

Friday Ferretblogging: Nursing Edition

So Matilda decided to make her entrance into the family dramatic. Last Saturday Mr. A and I came home from a day out to find her curled up and refusing to eat. She yacked up everything I tried spooning into her, was getting dehydrated and wouldn’t play. When a baby ferret doesn’t want to play, it is time to sound the nucelar sirens because something is Very Wrong. I called our long-suffering shelter director, picked up some stomach medication and shelter food (figuring that what she’d been eating before might have been easier on her system) and spent the next … Continue reading Friday Ferretblogging: Nursing Edition

Wednesday Night Music: Turkey Tunes

Here’s some music to, uh, chew on whilst contemplating tomorrow’s turkey. They’re both instrumentals by artists from my two hometowns: the late James Booker of New Orleans and Jefferson Airplane from San Francisco. The Airplane tune was composed by Jorma Kaukonen and is essentially a Hot Tuna tune. Try saying that 8 times. It features some wild fiddling by Papa John Creach. Continue reading Wednesday Night Music: Turkey Tunes

Okay, Wisconsin Right to Life

I can’t bring myself to praise them, but at least in this, they are being practical: In a twist, Wisconsin Right to Life, the largest anti-abortion group in the state, has come out forcefully against the personhood amendment strategy, calling it “just plain wrong for Wisconsin.” In astatement on its website, the organization says Wisconsin is “already in the best position possible to protect unborn children” because the state has a law on the books — currently superseded by Roe v. Wade — that prohibits abortion. The organization believes passage of the personhood amendment would invalidate that law. (Others, including … Continue reading Okay, Wisconsin Right to Life

Your Turkey is Trying to Convert You

Somebody please, please, please get these people a hobby. I wonder if all the fish I’ve eaten on Fridays cancels out the halal chicken I once ate because hey, free chicken. I wrote about a processing plant opening and they gave me a chicken. Even though I wasn’t supposed to accept the chicken, when there’s a guy handing you a chicken and you’ve already politely declined twice and he’s still holding it out to you, what do you do, shove it back at him? Also, research! I stuffed a lemon and some rosemary up it and roasted its blessed ass. … Continue reading Your Turkey is Trying to Convert You

Crashing By Design

The Congressional stupor committee has failed to reach a “bipartisan compromise.” As far as I’m concerned, that means they’ve succeeded: instead of puny tax increases and punitive spending cuts, if nothing else happens, the Bush tax cuts will expire in 2013. That, in turn, means a return to the Clinton era tax rates and $14 trillion (yep, trillion with a T) in the guvmint’s coffers. Sounds like a winner to me. It turns out that President Obama outmaneuvered Congressional Republicans by placing spending cuts on the table that GOP couldn’t agree to because they were tied to tax hikes. That … Continue reading Crashing By Design

You say food product, I say torture

More fatuousness from the same dipshits who think that pizza and ketchup are veggies: On Monday night, O’Reilly Factor host Bill O’Reilly and Fox News host Megyn Kelly sat down to discuss what really happened at UC Davis on Friday and whether campus police acted appropriately in showering a group of sitting students with pepper spray. Their conclusion? No big deal. “Pepper spray, that just burns your eyes, right?” O’Reilly asked Kelly. “Right,” Kelly said. “I mean, its like a derivative of actual pepper. It’s a food product, essentially.” Exactly! Like jalapeno poppers, or queso dip. Delicious. In fact, pepper … Continue reading You say food product, I say torture

The Healing Process

Sweet blueberry Jesus, I hate this stupid therapy language and the people who use it when it doesn’t mean anything other than SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP: The UC-Davis Chancellor responsible for thepepper-spraying of her students, Linda Katehi, todaywent onGood Morning America and explained why she should not resign or otherwise be held accountable: “we really need to start the healing process and move forward.” On aradio programin the afternoon, she expanded on this view by saying: “Weneed to move on.” That’s it. That’s all it means. It meansgo away.It means stop talking about how I hurt you. It … Continue reading The Healing Process

The GOP Plan

Starve the public system, and then, when it sucks enough to piss everyone off, give people a pittance and tell them to go buy their own thing that they really can’t afford. It won’t, of course, ever work as well as would just adequately funding the public system in the first place, but the point is to always make government suck, so that slick hucksters like Romney can get elected to make government suck even more. At least we’re finally seeing some pushback on some of this nonsense. A. Continue reading The GOP Plan