Friday Ferretblogging: Heroes Edition

Since it’s guest pet week on First Draft, have some heroic rescuers who saved ferrets from drowning: TWO young animals thought they were ‘ferret’ last night after becoming stranded on rocks off the coast of Cambois last night. The ferret’s anxious owners had made desperate attempts to save their animals by wading into the sea on the Cambois bay rocks, just south of Newbiggin, but their best endeavours looked likely to be scuppered when neither Tootsie or Lucky responded. With a desperate 999 call to the Humber coastguard a request to Newbiggin lifeboat to divert from their training exercise was … Continue reading Friday Ferretblogging: Heroes Edition

The (Hurricane) Name Game

It has been a blissfully quiet Hurricane season thus far. Weather conditions for development have been unfavorable, which is something I, uh, favor. It’s been so slow on the storm front that I haven’t spent too much time complaining about the wimpy names appended to far too many Hurricanes. I want Hurricane names to evoke fear, loathing, and all that jazz.This year’s list is pretty dull, it doesn’t have anything as silly as Danny or Florence but Hurricane Wendy does not inspire terror although I have two pretty terrifying friends of that name… Why am I going on about this? … Continue reading The (Hurricane) Name Game

Sly Stone and the All Albino Band?

Rock music legend and legendary eccentric, Sly Stone, gave an interview to Alexis Petridis of the Guardian wherein he said something weird even by Sly’s standards: “To me,” he continues, “albinos are the most legitimate minority group of all. All races have albinos. If we all realise that we’ve all got albinos in our families, it’s going to take away from the ridiculous racial tension, if you’re black or you’re white, blah blah blah. That’s why I’ve been trying to look for albino musicians and organise a group of people that are going to be right. That’s what I’ve been … Continue reading Sly Stone and the All Albino Band?

All War is a Crime

Jude commented on this post: The government and the rebels have been indiscriminately bombing and shelling cities; conventional explosives are WAY more deadly than air-dispersed chemical agents. Yet we still have this 1916-era mentality about how poison gas is somehow just so ungentlemanly that it deserves a special level of outrage. That’s bullshit. Artillery barrages and bombs do terrible, terrible things to human bodies. When you’re suffering and/or dying, you don’t give a shit whether hot steel, concussion trauma, napalm burns, or poison gas did the trick. Which is really what my issue with any bombing is about. It’s not … Continue reading All War is a Crime

The Gods Lift Those Who Lift Each Other

Cats and kittens, we have fallen down on that job: The city secured a permit to tear down the house in November 2011. James, who had driven down from Baton Rouge to attend a prior code enforcement hearing, said she never received notification of the hearing at which the city’s demolition request was considered. According to city spokesman Tyler Gamble, the city’s Code Enforcement department does not send letters to property owners to inform them of such hearings. The Neighborhood Conservation District Committee, he said, “would have posted the notice of hearing on the building itself and the agenda would … Continue reading The Gods Lift Those Who Lift Each Other

Evolution Of The Hipster

I don’t know what it’s like where you live, but New Orleans has been invaded by hipsters in the last few years. Our hipsters are a particularly self-righteous and preachy lot who want us to thank them for moving to our crummy town. I kid you not. A year ago, I got into an amusing exchange with some hipster douchebags at the Gambit blog over an eatery that called itself a blogstaurant. I am not making this up. My pal Greg Hackenberg posted the video below on Facebook, which is a stirring puppet show exegesis of hipsterdom: Continue reading Evolution Of The Hipster

The troll meets the drummer

Remember when I posted last month about a confrontation between malakatude hall of famer James O’Keefe and former US Attorney/amateur drummer Jim Letten? You don’t?Here’s a link to that post. The much ballyhooed video shot by O’Keefe’s band of malakatudinous pranksters is finally online. It’s highly self serving but still makes O’Keefe look like a twat. Letten doesn’t come off much better, but it’s fun to see him blow his stack and throw O’Keefe’s book at him while calling him a hobbit and a spud: I do wonder, however, what Jim Letten has against potatoes. Maybe it’s an Irish joke … Continue reading The troll meets the drummer

In Defense of One Direction, Or Why Your Favorite Music Is Terrible

Is there anything old people like more than hating on young people’s taste in music? I mean it’s like the Olympics for us: Magazines and television and advertisements tell teenage girls that they should like certain things, and then other magazines tell girls that they’re stupid for liking those things. Then magazines publish articles and TV shows run specials wondering why teenage girls don’t have better self esteem, like they didn’t make it that way. There’s nothing wrong with teenage girls being enthusiastic about boy bands or (heaven forbid) having sexual feelings about the boys in boy bands. There is … Continue reading In Defense of One Direction, Or Why Your Favorite Music Is Terrible

Why Is This Our Job?

Questions for Obama on Syria: First, why does this particular heinous act rise to the level of justifying a military response? More specifically, why did a similarly heinous act by the Egyptian army elicit from Washington only the mildest response? Just weeks ago, Egyptian security forces slaughtered hundreds of Egyptians whose “crime” was to protest a military coup that overthrew a legitimately elected president. Why the double standard? Second, once U.S. military action against Syria begins, when will it end? What is the political objective? Wrapping the Assad regime on the knuckles is unlikely to persuade it to change its … Continue reading Why Is This Our Job?

Heckuva Job, Bush Library

The recently opened Dubya Bush mausoleum is putting the lie in lieberry. It’s not surprising that they’re offering a revisionist take on how the Bushies dealt with the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina and the federal flood.Former Picayuneman Bruce Nolan went to Dallas so we didn’t have to and wrote about the exhibit for the Advocate: There was a time when George W. Bush minced no words about the federal response to Hurricane Katrina. He called it “unacceptable.” He fired his point man at FEMA and commissioned an internal review of the failures. A Senate inquiry led by his own party … Continue reading Heckuva Job, Bush Library

I Have a Nightmare

From Album 5 So, while we remember anniversaries of good or awful events, residents of Baghdad contend with more freedom bombs…I guess because, as a not-very-wise-man at all once said, freedom is untidy, don’t you know? Lethal, too. Geez, I’m so old I remember when Iraq was supposed to be the neo-con model. They were really going to show us libruls how to craft a free market paradise. But I doubt you’ll find a single neo-con who’ll even mention Iraq without someone else bringing it up first. Heckuva job. Continue reading I Have a Nightmare

Pulp Fiction Thursday: Voltess, The Girl Who Defies Electricity

Tommy T sent me a link to a swell sideshow image concocted by Millard & Blusterbaum who had a shop on Coney Island in the early 20th Century. The photo comes courtesy of my new favorite blog Amusing the Zillion, which has a swell tag line: “a former carny kid casts an insider’s eye on the amusement business, Coney Island and fun places in between.” Here’s the electrifying image: Continue reading Pulp Fiction Thursday: Voltess, The Girl Who Defies Electricity

Album Cover Art Wednesday: Self Portrait

I’ve never been a big Dylan fan. I respect his talent as a songwriter but can’t get past his nasal singing voice. He is, however, an important and very interesting artist who is never boring even in his dotage. His controversial 1970 LPSelf Portrait has recently been given new life with a pricey CD re-issue.I’ll let Jack Hamilton of Slate be our Dylansplainer: In June of 1970 a displaced Minnesotan folk-singer-turned-rock-star-turned-country-crooner with a fake name and a curiously attentive fan base released a double album for Columbia Records. Bob Dylan’s Self Portraitwas, in its way, as much of an end-of-the-’60s … Continue reading Album Cover Art Wednesday: Self Portrait

Newspaper Readers are Notoriously Immune to Bullshit!

Which is good, because otherwise JESUS H. CHRIST IN A SALAD: You keep shrinking my newspaper and charging me more for it. What’s up with that?We’re changing some of our content to give it a sharper local focus in the newspaper and an expanded presence online, at and on smartphones and tablets. Our aim is to give print readers more of the in-depth, community-focused news, features and sports content they consistently tell us they want and that no other news provider in this region can match. At the same time, we are enhancing the value of the all-access digital … Continue reading Newspaper Readers are Notoriously Immune to Bullshit!

Indeed, Mr. President

As a rabid Anglophile, I even have favorite fictional butlers. My all-time favorite was Steven Fry as Jeeves but I’m also quite partial to Gordon Jackson as Mr. Hudson on Upstairs Downstairs. The semi-eponymous butler of the title of the recent film is definitely more Angus Hudson than Jeeves. He’s more royalist than the King, by analogy at least. I wasn’t sure if I’d like The Butler but I did, even if it *was* uplifting. I typically hate uplifting movies but this one was pretty good despite the odd melodramatic swell of music that sounded rather Max Steineresque. In short, … Continue reading Indeed, Mr. President

Saturday Night Music: The El Paso Variations

Between my friends Craig and Kim Giesecke’s recent stay there and the fact that The Bridge is set there, I have El Paso on my mind. That, in turn, means that I have major earwormage. Here are three-count ’em three-renditions of the classic Marty Robbins tune: This final version is the oddball of the lot. The Old 97’s + some random video game. (Kevin) Spacey, man: Continue reading Saturday Night Music: The El Paso Variations

A Lengthy Arrest Record Leads to Instant Wealth and Security

So let’s criminalize homelessness, guys! City council members in Columbia, S.C., recently voted unanimously to criminalize homelessness. Concerned that Columbia has become a “magnet for homeless people,” and that businesses and the area’s safety are suffering as a result, council members agreed on Aug. 14 to give people on the streets the option to either relocate, or get arrested, according to the city’s “Emergency Homeless Response” report. Cooperative homeless people will be given the option to go to a remote 240-person bed emergency shelter, which will be open from September to March. The shelter will also be used as a … Continue reading A Lengthy Arrest Record Leads to Instant Wealth and Security

You Can’t Cover MY Contraception, Obamahitler!

Covering something is not the same as putting it in the water supply, okay? A Missouri legislator asked the federal court on Wednesday to exempt his family from contraception coverage through the state insurance plan, saying it violates his religious beliefs as a Catholic. Rep. Paul Wieland, R-Imperial, and his wife, Teresa, filed suit in U.S. District Court downtown against the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services and two other federal agencies. It asks the court to declare that the mandate for contraception coverage in the federal health-insurance law, known as Obamacare, violates their First Amendment freedom of religion. … Continue reading You Can’t Cover MY Contraception, Obamahitler!

Stay classy, Sometimes-Picayune

The geniuses who gave us TP Street and a confusing publication schedule have struck again. This time on the editorial side. There was a lurid story on the front page of Wednesday’s dead tree edition, which claimed to *protect* the identity of one of the story’s protagonists: A New Orleans taxi driver was arrested Monday after allegedly using his cellphone to record video underneath a woman’s skirt without her permission, then using the footage to try and bribe her. Hervey Farrell, of Metairie, was arrested near the intersection of Canal and Carondelet streets on Monday about 12:40 p.m. and booked … Continue reading Stay classy, Sometimes-Picayune

The Ladies, They Like the Sports Now

Oh GOD. food editor David Holloway wrote a piece today about an event called “Girls of Fall: A Night of Food, Fashion and Football.” His lede noted that the sport “can be a confusing and often vexing concept, especially for women.” Every time some company or other figures out that women watch football or baseball or some other sport, I have to laugh, because growing up in Wisconsin, I couldn’t AVOID watching football, and I have female relatives that do far more yelling at the TV during Packer games than their husbands. But hey, sports involve math, and math … Continue reading The Ladies, They Like the Sports Now

Blame Game

From Album 5 A new PPP poll shows a plurality of Gret Stet GOOPers “aren’t sure” if Obama deserves more blame than THEN PRESIDENT Bush for the screwed-the-pooch federal response to Katrina and the flood…but another 29 percent think the Kenyan Usurper does, while Shrub clocks in at…28 percent. And I’ve got it on good authority that 33 percent blame Obama for having gotten up on the wrong side of the bed, 37 percent blame him for the heartbreak of psoriasis, 41 percent for post nasal drop, 24 percent for banning saccharin from diet soda, 18 percent for Watergate, 16 … Continue reading Blame Game

The Outrage is Right HERE

God Almighty, they’re tiresome: On Thursday morning’s Fox & Friends, the hosts interviewed conservative columnist Michelle Malkinand asked her for her thoughts on the senseless killing of Australian college student Christopher Lane. She said that the muted reaction from civil rights leaders about a crime with racial implications is telling. Fox host Steve Doocy added that, if Lane had been black, activists like MSNBC host Al Sharptonwould have been already on the scene holding rallies and wearing t-shirts. The Fox hosts asked Malkin why the White House, which felt compelled to opine on the murder of Trayvon Martin before the … Continue reading The Outrage is Right HERE