Column: VOTE!


Look, I’m a realistic person. I know not everyone lives with the CNN news crawl jacked into the back of their brains like something out of the Matrix, which is how it’s starting to feel to me at this point in the election. I realize we all have jobs and lives and families and right now most of us are in the midst of trying to gather cardboard to build a shantytown for the coming Not So Great Actually Depression.

Things move fast these days and so I’m not talking about you not knowing the finer points of Obama’s health care plan or McCain’s position on government spending. I don’t expect everyone to mainline this stuff; frankly, given my own constant tension headache and incipient espresso addiction, I’d be scared if everyone was as cracked out on this election as I am.

I just have no patience for the dude who uses, “Man, I dunno anything about this stuff,” as an excuse for not spending 10 minutes on a Tuesday every four years to hire the guy who’s gonna run our entire lives. Newspapers are sold on every corner. If you own a TV, this stuff is beamed into your home from the air like a magical alien space-ray from the future every evening for free. Your local library has a computer that is a portal to an Internet positively seething with info, most of it not containing cuss words or naked people, though you can find that stuff if you want it, too.

I have no patience for the hipster who thinks you’re being a sucker by wearing an Obama shirt or a McCain button. “The system” may be unfair and it may be fixed for rich people and it may be overrun with corruption. Guess what? By walking away and shrugging, you’re not taking some rebellious position (sophomore, please), you’re just ceding control of that system to the people who, in your view, have screwed it up. Nice job, slick. Enjoy your ironic detachment and your Amstel Light.


8 thoughts on “Column: VOTE!

  1. I had that argument with a Green friend. “Both candidates work for corrupt system, blah blah.”
    Okay, I get your point. But if you don’t vote, the system is only going to get more corrupt.

  2. it’s just hard for us who care. i gave up on the stupids, bjust have to get better PR for our side. build p that liberal word, kill conservative.

  3. Nevermind that there are downticket races. Maybe someplace like Chicago it’s easy to believe local races are also too bigtime but the Democratic Town Committee where I grew up used to meet in my friend’s living room. It was like 15 people in a town of 50,000.

  4. Yes, yes and YES. I am wishing that the NYT replaces Kristol (or Bobo or MoDo) with a wordsqueezer such as yourself, A. Your essays read like poetry and hit the synapses like a refreshing flash of lightning.

  5. …and turn off The Simpsons once in a while, you goob. If there’s any show that’s been pushing the meme that “it just doesn’t matter, so don’t bother trying to change anything, just grab your creature comforts (“Mmm, doughnuts…”) and your teevee while you can,” it’s that one.
    Yo, hipster: You’re being conditioned into being June Cleaver — an empty, helpless vessel who exists only to look the right way and buy things and make other people (namely the ruling class) happy. Your job is to smile, shut up, and buy. How do you like that, huh?
    You wanna make a rebellious statement? Good. Here’s how: Turnoff the television, getoff the couch, anddo something thatdoesn’t involve shopping. The people who’ve been trying really hard to get you to sit down, shut up, obey, and fork over the contents of your wallethate it when you do things that don’t involve bolstering their bottom line like a good little consumer.
    Aren’t they the ones who push the line that a goodcitizen is really a goodconsumer? Bush: “If you don’t go shopping, the terrorists win!” They hate the idea of civic participation; they’d rather you just shut up and shopped. (And that’salso why people like Ann Coulter keep saying that they don’t think women should get to vote. Women are just theeasy targets. I should point out that there are people on the right who are now saying that onlyproperty owners should get to vote. Guess what, hipster? You’re next…)

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