I’ve been cranky for several weeks. I’ve had a series of minor maladies and mishaps that prevented me from going to Jazz Fest or doing much of anything. My overall health is fine but I feel like I’m being nit-picked like a Top Chef contestant at judge’s table. At least I’m not blinded by the shine of Tom Colicchio’s head.

The featured image is of my countryman John Cassavetes in Brian DePalma’s The Fury. I’d be irritated if my eyes were bleeding too. I’m beyond irritated today. You surely know what that means: It’s time for vexatious venting about irksome things.

I’m irked that the legacy media is just starting to notice that the Kaiser of Chaos has lost his spin fastball. The fakakta ballroom was the best they could do after the attack at the Hilton? I thought they’d blame Biden or Obama, instead Team MAGA lobbied for the ballroom as a one-size fits all solution to our problems or some such shit. The MAGA incoherence, it burns.

Repeat after me: Trump has lost his spin fastball. He’s also out of his head.

I’m irked that an educated political junkie like me can’t make sense of Team MAGA’s Iran War lies. Who speaks for the administration? Marco? JD? Hegseth? They shouldn’t bother: their boss will undermine and humiliate them as soon as they stop speaking. Why? He loves chaos and confusion. That’s why I call him the Kaiser of Chaos.

I’m irked that the Insult Comedian is still attacking Pope Bob. Trump claims the Pope wants Iran to have nukes. NO POPE HAS EVER WANTED ANY COUNTRY TO HAVE NUKES. I had to yell to drown out the MAGA malakatude. It won’t work but it felt good to try.

Repeat after me: ALL POPES ARE PEACENIKS.

I’m irked that Mark Leibovich has brought his blame Democrats for everything shtick to the Atlantic. In his latest piece, he cautions Democrats about over confidence. Has he met any rank-and-file voters from the party of pessimists? You know, the ones I call bedwetters. Oy, just oy.

I’m irked that Republican efforts to recruit John Fetterman have gone public. Fetterman has sounded like a horseshoe person for some time but I agree with him that he’d be a shitty Republican.

I’ve steered clear of writing about Fetterman because of his mental health issues. I wish him well health wise but hope Bob Casey or another Penn Dem will challenge Fetterman in 2028. Right now, he’s Joe Manchin in a hoodie. Who needs that?

I’m irked that MAGA Gret Stet Attorney General Liz Murrill has brought an indictment against former Orleans Parish Sheriff, Susan Hutson. Murrill has accused Hutson of criminal malfeasance in office, which is a vague charge and the indictment is vaguer still.

The case centers on last year’s mass jailbreak, which led to Hutson’s electoral defeat.

As far as I can tell, Hutson is guilty only of incompetence. The last I checked incompetence isn’t illegal, if it were half the Trump cabinet would be under indictment.

I’m irked that the Gret Stet lege is going after New Orleans again. They’ve ousted the clerk of criminal district court Calvin Duncan before he was even sworn in. The lege says it’s about efficiency when it’s really about race. Duncan, of course, is Black.

Repeat after me: In Louisiana, it’s always about race.

As to Calvin Duncan, he’s been through worse: he was jailed for 28 years for a murder he didn’t commit.

Finally, I’m irked that people are overhyping the climate crisis report about the future of New Orleans. The metro area is indeed at risk of being washed away but these things are usually oversold in the hopes of inspiring action. Drop everything and leave right now because of this report when we returned after Katrina and the Federal Flood? Hell, the report’s drop dead date for the city is the end of the 22nd Century. We’re tough and resourceful people; we got time to fix this shit.

The last word goes to Marcia Ball: