Today on Tommy T’s Obsession with the Freepi – It’s getting embarrassing over there

Good morning, everyone! I like to think think of this weekly feature as a public service to all First Draft readers – no matter how crappy a job you have (If indeed you still have one), or how awful your Monday is, it couldn’t possibly be as bad as being a GOP kool-aid drinker in this fall of 2008.
Suit up and follow me inside – there’s rocks to kick over andschadenfreude by the metric ton to bag up!

You know, if these assholes hadn’t driven our country into the ditch, I might feel sorry for them.
But they did, so I don’t.

I wrote this a few months ago about Iraq, but it fits everything else they have every tried to do, so – before the Freeper Madness, an original musing:

I borrowed your car…

You know, the one you trusted me to drive?

Well, a funny thing happened – I drove it into the lake.
I didn’t know
the water was as deep as it was, you see.
It’s not my fault.

And now you want me to get it out?
Quit carping at me. It’s in the
water up to the windows now, and what’s done is done. I can’t undrive it into
the lake, you know.
You’re being counter-productive.

So anyway, here’s what I’m proposing.
The motor’s still running,
albeit a bit roughly, so I’m going to drive it further into the
Certainly the water out there is shallower, as all my lake advisers

What? Of course they’re the same people who told me it would be a great
idea to drive your car into the lake. They are, after all, the experts.

Anyway – if I drive the car far enough forward, I’m bound to get to the
other side of the lake eventually. It just stands to reason.

If I let you drive it back out of the lake, it’s a defeatist

I know it’s your car, not mine, and that it’s already badly damaged – but
it’s a small price to pay to realize my dream of driving your car across the

Besides – if we pull it out now, the lake wins.

Ok – enough of that. Let’s go to Freeperville!

First up – “Why doesn’t the MSM cover all the irrefutable info about Obama being a space alien????”

“Oh, FOX! Oh Drudge!! Why hast thou forsaken us???”

What’s up With Drudge and

Posted onWednesday, October 22, 2008 8:43:25 AM byFloridaBattleGround

Drudge is usually
pretty good about stating the news correctly… he broke the Monical Lewinsky
scandal and has been the first to report many stories. Why hasn’t Drudge of Fox
reported anything about:
-Obama’s birth certificate -Obama’s Kenyan
We have bombarded the media with requests to get to the bottom of
these two HUGE issues. But no one wants to touch it. I can comfirm that I have
talked to Steve Doocy from Fox News in person when he was here on his book tour.
He knew about these stories. But he hasn’t reported on them yet. And I have sent
numerous emails to Drudge and Fox. At least they should tell us the truth about
these stories. If they are nothing, then they need to investigate and find out
they are nothing.
For crying out loud, they are investigating some very
personal things about Sarah Palin. This is straight ridiculous.

I’m sure your “numerous emails” to Drudge and Fox will bear fruit.Or something.

To: FloridaBattleGround
I sent Drudge about 10 times yesterday the UIC web page from
2002 that showed Obama and Ayers on the same panel together with four other
left-wing radicals. Crickets…
2 posted on Wednesday, October 22, 2008
8:45:10 AM

To: FloridaBattleGround
I know! It is quite odd. Why don’t they report that Obama
hasn’t been able to produce a valid birth certificate? I saw an analysis that
was saying that Obama’s Hawaii “birth certificate” is fake. If Obama was (and I
think he was, in my opinion) born in Kenya or Indonesia, then he would be
immediately disqualified from running for president.
6 posted onWednesday, October 22, 2008
8:46:41 AM
(Let the sound of intercession meet Your ears…)

And of course, there’s always gotta be a killjoy:

To: FloridaBattleGround
Why haven’t they reported it? Because the birth certificate
story makes conservatives look like conspiracy-theory touting morons. That’s
9 posted onWednesday, October 22, 2008
8:47:18 AM

In cammie, veritas.

And now – the Rasmussen poll that Freepers used to swear by, and now simply swear AT:


Rasmussen: O-51%, M-45% (Obama

Rasmussen ^| 10/22 | Rasmussen
onWednesday, October 22, 2008 8:32:21 AM by

Rasmussen Reports daily Presidential Tracking Poll for Wednesday shows Barack
Obama attracting 51% of the vote while John McCain earns 45%. Obama has now
enjoyed a modest lead every day for nearly a month.
It is difficult to
overstate the stability of this campaign ever since the events on Wall Street
brought a new wave of economic anxiety to the fore. Just before Lehman Brothers
collapsed and started the Wall Street debacle, McCain held a very slight lead in
the polls. Immediately afterwards, the race became more of a referendum on the
Bush Administration and Obama moved ahead. The stability of Obama’s advantage in
recent weeks suggests that it will be difficult for McCain to change the dynamic
before the results are finally set in stone.
For the past eleven days, Obama
has been at the 50% or 51% level of support every day in the Rasmussen Reports
daily Presidential Tracking Poll. During those same eleven days, McCain has been
at 45% or 46% every day and the gap between the candidates has stayed between
four and six percentage points.

We are certainly heading in the wrong direction…
1 posted onWednesday, October 22, 2008
8:32:21 AM

The master of the bleeding obvious is greeted thus:

To: tatown
You need a different hobby pal
2 posted onWednesday, October 22, 2008
8:33:02 AM

And now, get ready to throw up in your mouths a little:

To: ScottinVA
Well I can tell you after a lunch with our CEO(A staunch
Pubbie)he indicated with an Obama win, pink slips will be going out to “Non Key”
employees in anticipation of tax increases. I took that to mean …um Obama
supporters on our staff…hehe. So celebreate on the unemployment line!
32 posted onWednesday, October 22,
2008 8:41:36 AM

What a great guy he is! Not only is he firing people based on their politics, he’s preemptively firing people based on his psychic powers that his taxes will go up if he doesn’t. And then he will blame Dems for using emotion rather than facts to make decisions.
Hopefully, he’ll be “celebreate”ing the demise of his company shortly thereafter, forcing his GOP stalwarts to get jobs that don’t involve fucking pigs. Hehe.

And lastly, for the “there should be age limits to voting” eugenicists in the flock:

To: Paradox
I was at a library yesterday where they were doing one stop
voting. These college aged punks were wheeling in old people in chairs and beds.
I walked by and said “Bring out your dead for Obama.”
I will vote straight
ticket, but I’m afraid this race is over.
47 posted onWednesday, October 22,
2008 8:51:54 AM
byamishman (Barack
Obama=Jim Jones)

Thenerve of those old people!!! Just because they made it through the last three financial horrors the Repubs engineered doesn’t give then a right to actuallydo something about this one!

And next –“Champagne kisses and caviar wet dreams!


NY Post ^| October 17, 2008 —
onFriday, October 17, 2008 6:43:21 AM byCOUNTrecount

he’s battling GOP accusations that he’s an Ivy League elitist, Barack Obama has
a lifestyle of the rich and famous,(clip)While he was at a meeting at the
Waldorf-Astoria at 4 p.m. Wednesday, Michelle Obama called room service and
ordered lobster hors d’oeuvres, two whole steamed lobsters, Iranian caviar and

(Excerpt) Read more

Knees jerking all over the place after the jump, so let’s have a look-see!!


13 thoughts on “Today on Tommy T’s Obsession with the Freepi – It’s getting embarrassing over there

  1. Kuru is the only hope some of these folks have for self improvement now.
    That low echoing sound they hear is the crumbs of their cerebellums shifting around whenever they twitch uncontrolably.

  2. The extra-special Freepi make Sven Hoek* look like the Grand Poohbah of Mensa… The stupidity pains me. The blind following…rabid attachment – these folks need serious psychotherapy to resolve their “lack of love from a parent” issues.
    Jeepers Freepers!!!
    Great job yet again Tommy T!!! I will have the bunny suit from the foray into Freeperville Sanforized and returned to the locker tout de suite!

  3. Elspeth — “Don’t Whiz On The Electric Fence!” Yeah, I remember Sven. 🙂
    Lordie, we’ve got to find a way to harness Freepi mind power for good. They can apparently contain an infinite number of conflicting alternate realities in their little brainpans, and make them all be true at the same time.

  4. Ding ding ding!!! 🙂 Filkertom FTW! 🙂
    Freepi mind power is strong on stupidity but terribly dangerous for the environment. And there’s nowhere to store the waste until it decomps.
    😉 Elspeth

  5. They can apparently contain an infinite number of conflicting alternate realities in their little brainpans
    My god, they’re all running Microsoft Virtual Server — Freepers must be kind of like my test environment, but slower and dumber. No wonder they have such trouble interfacing with reality. I’m a software tester, but I amnot volunteering to file bug reports on their heads, sorry.
    And lookee in the post! I’m faaaamous! Ha! 🙂

  6. Guys – this is getting both harder and weirder, I don’t mind telling ya. As their world collapses around them and their “Permanent Republican Majority” goes the way of an ice sculpture the morning after the wedding, they’re getting stranger and stranger. They’ve largely discardrd the code words, and it’s every Freeper for himself. And bear in mind, I’m not sampling any more than the first page on any of these threads – some of them go on for page after page.
    Also, where I used to email myself three or four threads a week, now, it’s 12+. It’s as if they’re hurrying to get all the stupidity unleashed before the Gotterdamerung. I’ll be glad when it’s down to the usual whining and complaining again, because these guys are starting to make *me* crazy.

  7. actually, that’s REN hoek of ren and stimpy fame.
    thanks for the reminder. i’m going to relax in front of the tv tonight and watch my dvd of the first two seasons when john K was running the show.
    yay ren! yay stimpy!

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