I’ve spent my share of time in courtrooms, but I’ve never heard a judge order the courtroom cleared. It didn’t even happen when I saw a judge pull a gun out of a drawer and point it at a defendant. I am not making this up: I wrote about it in 2021.
The cleared courtroom is, of course, that of Judge Juan Merchan who’s presiding over the Trump porn star hush money election interference case. The witness who provoked the usually mild-mannered judge is Robert Costello who’s a former Giuliani underling called by Team Trump as a witness.
Costello was there to testify that Michael Cohen told him in 2018 that Trump had nothing to do with the hush money payments. At that point, Costello was auditioning to be Cohen’s defense lawyer. He failed the audition because Cohen, quite rightly, thought Rudy had sent Costello to spy and report back to Trump and Rudy. Besides, the payment lie was what Cohen told everyone before he flipped like a flapjack.
In and of itself Costello’s testimony was no big whoop, but he violated the first rule of courtroom decorum: Never piss off the judge.
This passage from the WaPo story about the Merchan-Costello face off is a thing of beauty:
“The veteran lawyer wasn’t on the stand long before he started to get annoyed at Merchan, and the judge immediately reciprocated, bristling as Costello repeatedly answered questions that had already been ruled improper.
The judge grew irate that Costello appeared to be talking back to him, and had the jury sent out of the room so he could scold the witness.
“What did you say?” Merchan demanded of Costello. “What did you say?”
“I would like to discuss proper decorum in my courtroom,” Merchan told Costello. “So when there is a witness on the stand, if you don’t like my ruling, you don’t say ‘jeez,’ okay? And then don’t say ‘strike it,’ because I am the only one who can strike testimony in the courtroom.”
Merchan’s lecture continued: “If you don’t like my rulings, then you don’t give me side-eye and you don’t roll your eyes,” Merchan added.”
It gets better. The next bit inspired the post title.
“I’m putting you on notice that your conduct is contemptuous,” Merchan told Costello, according to an early transcript of the proceedings released Monday evening. “If you try to stare me down one more time, I will remove you from the stand.” He warned Trump’s lawyers that if Costello continued to misbehave, all of Costello’s testimony would be struck from the court record.”
Things calmed down after this contentious colloquy but the damage to Trump’s defense was done. Juries tend to like, even love, their judges. Pissing off Judge Merchan is the same thing as pissing off the jury. On behalf of everyone rooting for a conviction: Thanks, Mr. Costello. One could even call him the accidental prosecution witness.
Costello returns to the stand this morning. Calling him was a huge mistake by Trump’s legal team compounding its lousy and overlong cross-examination of Cohen. I blame the client not his lawyers for calling this witless witness: like Rudy before him, Costello is telling Trump what he wants to hear. Essentially, Costello is Rudy with better hair and smaller teeth.
Costello is sucking up to The Kaiser of Chaos, but he’s fallen out with Rudy. America’s Deadbeat Mayor stiffed Costello on his legal fees and owes him big bucks.
The Indicted Impeached Insult Comedian is paying $12 million for this defense? He needs a new fixer to negotiate the fees down. Michael Cohen is otherwise engaged.
What does cost matter to Trump? His supporters are paying for Blanche, Bove, and Necheles to put on this shitty defense. Of course, they don’t have much to work with: their client is guilty, guilty, guilty.
I’m puzzled by Team Trump putting The Contemptuous Mr. Costello on the witness stand. Talking Heads get the last word:
What, indeed, is cost to the defendant? He has a long, long record of stiffing people, from the most high-powered lawyer to the lowliest caterer. His standard line to people who come by looking to get paid is to tell them what a great deal they’ve made and how they can brag to their friends and prospective customers that they did work for Donald Trump, which is worth far more than any paltry sum they’re looking to get for their services.
That should be kept in mind, considering the last of Michael Cohen’s cross-examination before Costello took the stand. Cohen testified that yes, he was looking for a White House job when Trump got elected. But that didn’t happen, for whatever reason. So Cohen actually took Trump’s advice and held himself out as someone who had worked for Trump and still had access to Trump while he squatted in the Oval Office. Cohen wrote a couple of books. He went on the talk show rounds. He made a million bucks a year while Trump was president, and on cross-examination, Trump’s lawyer tried to make that look like Cohen was cashing in on his past relationship with Trump. Which is what Trump constantly advised people to do after he’d screwed them over.
I don’t know how or if the prosecution can work that in to its closing argument, but it would be quite giggle-worthy to throw Trump’s own penny-pinching back in his face.