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I just need you to tell me how to get to the time machine…

ah, I know, this is popping up everywhere this morning, so maybe you’ve seen it. But..but…I justcannot pass it by.

People always wonder what the hell happened to the brilliantly off-kilter Victoria Jackson between Saturday Night Live (she wasToonces‘ mom, ferchrissakes!) in the late 80’s and now. Kidnapped by a cult? Psychiatric hospitalization? Gone Galt? Head trauma? I choose Attacked by Zombies. They ate most of her brain, leaving just the amygdala. She’s just a series of autonomic fear-based tics now but I have to give her credit for the timing. Coming on the heels of the Michael Jackson Death Spectacle and Fishin’ with Sarah, she’s obviously another testament to theGood Doctor’s famous utterance about theweird going pro.


Social Security and Medicare are broke. Baby boomers, like me, are getting old and will soon be asking for it.
Socialized medicine makes people die. You stand in a long, long line with a breast lump, clogged artery, or sharp pencil stuck in your eye, and someone like the DMV person, who can’t speak English, has chewing gum, an attitiude, really long fake nails that curl up at the end, and is talking on a cell phone, enjoying their power trip moment, is finally face to face with you. They mumble something incoherent about paperwork. You die. One less person in line for Social Security and Medicare!

Obama legally kills babies and now he can legally kill Grandmas!