I don’t think we’re probably
headed for mass secessions or Civil War or anything quite that extreme.
But I do think a lot of the teabaggers, birthers, and sovereign
citizens do genuinely wish that we were.
Because if there’s a war, then they get to dust off all their copies of Soldier of Fortune and their SCA crossbows and shit, and make it all mean something. If there’s a war, they get to finally prove to everyone what they’ve been jawing about for years, that they’re not really Cheeto-dusted losers but hardcore badasses, Elven cloaks and Rings of Power included. It’s like their other recurring dream, that offinally waking up in an episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation, so they can finally show off everything they’ve ever learned that anybody ever told them was a little bit arcane.
The Coming IslamoFascist Struggle was the fantasy for a while, and before that it was Y2K (remember all that fucking goofiness in the megachurches?) and before that … I don’t know, I only started tracking the advanced insanity around the turn of the millennium. But there’s always something coming that will prove them worthy and you wanting. And THEN you’ll be sorry.
A.