I don’t think we’re probably
headed for mass secessions or Civil War or anything quite that extreme.
But I do think a lot of the teabaggers, birthers, and sovereign
citizens do genuinely wish that we were.
Because if there’s a war, then they get to dust off all their copies of Soldier of Fortune and their SCA crossbows and shit, and make it all mean something. If there’s a war, they get to finally prove to everyone what they’ve been jawing about for years, that they’re not really Cheeto-dusted losers but hardcore badasses, Elven cloaks and Rings of Power included. It’s like their other recurring dream, that offinally waking up in an episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation, so they can finally show off everything they’ve ever learned that anybody ever told them was a little bit arcane.
The Coming IslamoFascist Struggle was the fantasy for a while, and before that it was Y2K (remember all that fucking goofiness in the megachurches?) and before that … I don’t know, I only started tracking the advanced insanity around the turn of the millennium. But there’s always something coming that will prove them worthy and you wanting. And THEN you’ll be sorry.