I had a semi-plethora of emails from readers and friends suggesting a certain famous cager as this week’s malaka. I was already planning to pile on LeBron: not only for the way his free agency was handled but a result that strikes me as bizarre. Unlikemy colleague Doc the GearheadI don’t have an emotional stake in this BUT this is the week that LeBron went from being just another spoiled superstar to a malaka supernova as opposed to aChampagne Supernova.That’s right, he’s become a bigger douchebag than the Gallagher brothers…
I was planning to crown LeBron the malaka king *before* he decided to change teams but that was the cherry on the shit sundae. The one thing I liked about LeBron off the court was the fact that he played for the hometown/state team. Now that he’s Le-gone, as Doc put it, there’s not much to like. All I see is a 25 year old kid with more money than sense. Me, I’ve got more cents than dollars…
The hype surrounding the live teevee announcement was in a word: nauseating. It did, however, provide grist for my mill: I spent the week cracking LeBron jokes but I couldn’t topDave Zirin who dubbed decision day, Lebronica. And the decision itself is a baffling one, I figured he’d stay put or play for the Knicks, Bulls or the Russian mob guy who owns the Nets who I expected to make an offer James couldn’t refuse. But the Miami fucking Heat? That’s Dwayne Wade’s team and has been for years. I’m unconvinced that James, Wade and Bosch are the second coming of Allen, Pierce and Garnett. It will be interesting to see what happens but I plan to root against the Heat until hell, uh, freezes over…
The folks in Ohio are seriously pissed over LeBron’s malakatude. I do, however, find ownerDan Gilbert’s tirade against James to be disingenuous. If LeBron turned into a monster, Gilbert was Victor Frankenstein. He catered and kow-towed to LeBron but in the end it didn’t matter. LeBron did what spoiled brats do: looked out for himself, team mates and fans be damned. It’s just another day in the malakatudinous world of 21st Century pro sports.
So, in a few short weeks, LeBron James has gone from being very popular to the Albert Belle of the NBA. I personally always thought that LeBron was overrated: he’s no Michael Jordan and not even a Kobe Bryant. Kobe is an asshole but he plays to win unlike a certain overpaid malaka who was accused of going into the tank in the Cavaliers series loss to the Celtics this year. I didn’t see the games but I know that LeBron certainly had a cavalier attitude in that series…
I’m *almost* sorry for that pun but instead of apologizing here’s a song dedicated to the people of Cleveland and Ohio who may be down but still rock:
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