Malaka Of The Week: LeBron James

I had a semi-plethora of emails from readers and friends suggesting a certain famous cager as this week’s malaka. I was already planning to pile on LeBron: not only for the way his free agency was handled but a result that strikes me as bizarre. Unlikemy colleague Doc the GearheadI don’t have an emotional stake in this BUT this is the week that LeBron went from being just another spoiled superstar to a malaka supernova as opposed to aChampagne Supernova.That’s right, he’s become a bigger douchebag than the Gallagher brothers…

I was planning to crown LeBron the malaka king *before* he decided to change teams but that was the cherry on the shit sundae. The one thing I liked about LeBron off the court was the fact that he played for the hometown/state team. Now that he’s Le-gone, as Doc put it, there’s not much to like. All I see is a 25 year old kid with more money than sense. Me, I’ve got more cents than dollars…

The hype surrounding the live teevee announcement was in a word: nauseating. It did, however, provide grist for my mill: I spent the week cracking LeBron jokes but I couldn’t topDave Zirin who dubbed decision day, Lebronica. And the decision itself is a baffling one, I figured he’d stay put or play for the Knicks, Bulls or the Russian mob guy who owns the Nets who I expected to make an offer James couldn’t refuse. But the Miami fucking Heat? That’s Dwayne Wade’s team and has been for years. I’m unconvinced that James, Wade and Bosch are the second coming of Allen, Pierce and Garnett. It will be interesting to see what happens but I plan to root against the Heat until hell, uh, freezes over…

The folks in Ohio are seriously pissed over LeBron’s malakatude. I do, however, find ownerDan Gilbert’s tirade against James to be disingenuous. If LeBron turned into a monster, Gilbert was Victor Frankenstein. He catered and kow-towed to LeBron but in the end it didn’t matter. LeBron did what spoiled brats do: looked out for himself, team mates and fans be damned. It’s just another day in the malakatudinous world of 21st Century pro sports.

So, in a few short weeks, LeBron James has gone from being very popular to the Albert Belle of the NBA. I personally always thought that LeBron was overrated: he’s no Michael Jordan and not even a Kobe Bryant. Kobe is an asshole but he plays to win unlike a certain overpaid malaka who was accused of going into the tank in the Cavaliers series loss to the Celtics this year. I didn’t see the games but I know that LeBron certainly had a cavalier attitude in that series…

I’m *almost* sorry for that pun but instead of apologizing here’s a song dedicated to the people of Cleveland and Ohio who may be down but still rock:

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8 thoughts on “Malaka Of The Week: LeBron James

  1. I’m not going to argue James’ talents nor his free-agency “Labronica” (love that!). But I do take issue that because he went somewhere else (to Miama), he’s a spoiled brat, and a malaka. There’s probably more than enough reason to dub Lebron James the “Malaka of the week” but doing so because he exercised his free agency and chose to play where he liked.
    I find the Cavaliers’ owner’s diatribe far more malaka-worthy, frankly.
    And if Lebron James doesn’t look out for himself (spoiled brat or no), just who will? His agent wants the most money; his entourage, pretty much the same thing. Team owners? What they can get for the least amount expended. Team mates? Depends on who the team mate is, I guess.

  2. It’s a BUSINESS!!
    Doesn’t it seem strained to make this episode the moral failure of the decade, when everybody involved is in it for the money? Isn’t this the perfect example of maximizing (to the limit of the participants’ marginal capacities) the most important thing in the world? Wouldn’t Ronnie be proud?

  3. On one level y’all have a point. But LeBron didn’t take the most money and the whole thing damaged his so-called “brand.” His previous image was of a hometown hero who liked living near his mama. He sounds more interested in partying on South Beach than in playing hoops.
    Btw, I did consider the Cavs owner for MOTW “honors” because his rant was so OTT.

  4. Admittedly, I’m not a basketball fan and never even heard the name Lebraun before a week ago.
    That said, I’m having trouble understanding the ire directed at him. He became a free agent so was free to move around. I can partially understand the “fans” being disappointed. The owners are angry at a lack of loyalty, but I don’t see their loyalty to him (did Lebraun have a stake in the team?).
    In a world where teams pick up and change cities to meet the highest bidder, why should the players not be able to move around?

  5. The ire towards LeBron has more to do with the process of how he changed teams. He turned it into a media event, which blew up in his face. In short, he’s a malaka (a wanker to the uninitiated.)

  6. I can see your point there, Adrastos.
    I don’t at all understand why he got an hour TV to say “I am moving to X”. Simple, perfunctory announcement.

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