Weekend Question Thread

Jezebel has this thread aboutWorst Pickup Lines ever:

So I went with him to the beach, with our mutual posses, to partake of
some fine Italian herb. I was playing a little hard to get (mostly
because I had to pee, and that was more at the forefront of my mind
than sexy times), so to win me over, he decided to bust out the real
lady-killer line: “I am gigalo.”

My personal favorite was in college, when my roommate and I were at a party. She was dancing with a guy, and then he whispered something to her and she stopped dead and just left him there on the floor looking pathetic.

“What did he say to you?” I asked when she came over to me, making a face like she’d just bit a lemon.

“He said, ‘I would rip you in two.'”

What’s the worst you’ve ever heard?

A.

14 thoughts on “Weekend Question Thread

  1. Mass says:

    I’ve got a roofie with your name on it.

  2. RAM says:

    It’s been so long ago I forget…

  3. chuckchuck says:

    how do you like the smell of chloroform?

  4. pansypoo says:

    i am still waiting for a pathetic male.

  5. BlakNo1 says:

    Speaking as a guy, the worst I’ve ever heard? Multiple times?
    “You’re too nice.”
    What the fuck is that supposed to mean, exactly?
    Rhetorical question, BTW.

  6. “You look like Marla from “Fight Club”! Wanna dance?”
    Um, srsly? Marla, the sex-fiend, heroin-thin freakish creature???? And that’s supposed to be a ‘compliment’??? I turned him down. That guy went on to marry my now ex-friend that he moved onto next (she was with me at the club) and they now have a child. (the episode happened a year ago March) She didn’t even thank me for her good fortune…beeyotch.

  7. Maitri says:

    “You’re so exotic.” That one usually elicits the stabbies.

  8. LOL Maitri! “the stabbies”…must save that one. I understand it, to be sure (not that my pasty face has ever been referred to as ‘exotic’…but just in the understanding ‘stabby mood’ sense!).
    🙂

  9. Mungen_Cakes says:

    Have you ever sucked on a baseball bat?

  10. Tommy T says:

    “You shore got a purty mouth.”
    Tommy

  11. Adrastos says:

    Uh oh, Tommy, sounds vaguely “Deliverance” like to me, he said, avoiding the obvious very crude follow up joke…

  12. Michael says:

    Not a pickup line, but in my youth I did the motorbike thing for a while…at Capitol Grocery in Madison I saw a young woman sitting on a sort of raised platform and thought I’d give her the “look at me I’m a biker” look…forgot to set the kick stand, and of course tipped the bike right over.
    Motorbikes are really heavy…there’s really no way to set them back up with any measure of grace or dexterity.
    They’re even heavier when you can feel yourself getting as small as a prairie dog.

  13. Down past the college yrs. one of my friend (his father was a milkman) had said this to his girl friend: “I like you because your mouth smells like vanilla icecream.”

  14. TheOaf says:

    Funniest one I ever heard delivered was to a (not really attractive, but made-up to the nines) coworker that was sitting at the same table in a SC bar:
    “You’re the prettiest thing since Jesus was a Cowboy!”

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