It matters so much, guys, that Conrad Black is sorry:
Brian Stewart said Black now believes that many people — including himself — have been wronged by the U.S. justice system, giving him a sense of sympathy for those who have had the “roughest rides in America.”
“Once he saw the real injustice around him like that, which in his past life he wasn’t really in a position to see, he reacted,” said Stewart, who visited Black three times in prison while he served the first part of his sentence.
“Everyone who knows him that I’ve talked to — who’s known him for a long time — says the transformation has been impressive.”
It’s not that I’m not interested in the lasting changes prison might have wrought upon Conrad Black. That’s a fascinating topic, especially in a journalistic climate that mistakes celebrity feelings for actual, you know, stuff. However, for the benefit of those of us who saw newsrooms owned and controlled by his company decimated while he fudged the numbers and raided the safe, here are some questions that aren’t being asked while we debate whither Lord Black of Crossharbour:
Are the people unemployed as a result of his thieving and general fuckwittery any less unemployed, or broke, since Conrad Black went to prison?
Are the communities that lost their major or in many cases only watchdog on public fraud and waste when Mr. Black’s papers were contracted or closed any better off?
Are the stories he and his minions demanded remain uncovered — or demanded be covered in contravention to common sense and facts — any less true, or any less false?
Is he planning on liquidating every single one of his assets in order to make right what he did?
And if the answers to all of those are no, why should we give a flying pinkfuck how his personality has changed? What does that profit any of us, if he’s sorry or even if he isn’t, if he cares more for the wrongly convicted (hey Conrad, you weren’t) or if he doesn’t? How does that change anyone’s situation? What are we supposed to do, give him a cookie? We have to get past this thing where people’s feelings are put on a level of significance with their actions, where if he’s sorry then that matters to anybody except him and his therapist.
During the same court appearance, Black’s wife, Barbara Amiel, fainted when the judge ordered him to return to prison. Black’s release will end a separation that has been “terribly tough” on both of them, Stewart said.
“I think he’s interested in a productive, somewhat sedate existence and nowhere near as controversial, in terms of feuds and that, as it used to be.”
Call me when he does something significant to demonstrate his remorse. You know what, don’t even call me then. Call me when he invents a time machine and finds a way to not have been such a stupendous fuckhole in the first place, because that’s pretty much the only thing he could do to make up for what he’s already done.
Not that, beyond improving the language in his press clippings, he has any intention of making anything up at all.
A.