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SUPER FAST ALERT WEATHER DOPPLER 6000

Christ, I hate weather stories. Just tell me if it’s going to snow or not. Stop jerking yourselves off.

I had a friend move here from overseas and he watched the local news one night, a MAJOR STORM WATCH ULTRA FAST WEATHER ALERT type of thing, and asked me, “Doesn’t anyone get killed in this city? Why is there a story about the wind blowing down a sign?”

A.

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