It’s been a crazy news week. The shutdown and Hegseth’s bizarre Quantico pep rally were ably covered by my colleagues Parenthetical and Cassandra respectively. She really hates Pete Hegseth, which is a sign of both good sense and good taste.
I wrote my Shut It Down post last month. I’m glad that Schumer and Jeffries are sticking to their guns and standing up to Team Trump. The vile epithets and AI crapola clearly influenced their stance. Trump is not a serious person who bargains in good faith; bad faith is his jam.
It’s interesting when an old post starts receiving fresh hits. It’s a 2023 takedown of the Speaker of the House, Mike Johnson’s Family Values. I’m not quite sure where the hits come from, so I guess I’ll thank the internet gods or some such shit.
That was the good news of the week, everything else made me crankier than Clint Eastwood’s character in Gran Torino:
I wish I could just yell at Team MAGA and make them get off my lawn, but no such luck. Instead, I’ll indulge in some vexatious venting about irksome things.
I’m irked that Pete Hegseth thinks he’s General Patton. He’s not even George C Scott playing Patton, no Oscar for Dirty Hands Hegseth. The Quantico pep rally reminded me of Alfalfa and the Little Rascals staging a backyard version of the opening scene of Patton.
The generals in attendance on Tuesday were not amused. I don’t think any converts were made in that room.
I’m irked that the legacy media refuses to call out Trump for his growing dementia. Who thinks that renaming the Defense Department will end all wars? The Kaiser of Chaos, that’s who. He’s gone from running as a “peace” candidate to acting like a tinpot dictator with cotton-candy piss hair in Penn Jillette’s memorable phrase.
What’s not to love about a song that name drops John Kenneth Galbraith?
Back to being irked.
I’m irked that the media accepted claims by Trump and Netanyahu that there’s a peace plan for Gaza. It’s peace on Bibi’s terms, a man who has disgraced his country and his office with war crimes and egregious corruption. What a pair of losers.
I’m irked that the Argentine bailout hasn’t gotten more attention. It’s not just about the self-styled Trump of the Pampas, Javier Milei whose hairdo is as bizarre as the Insult Comedian’s:
The bailout stands to enrich a crony of Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent. There’s always a grift with these guys, but can they tango?
I’m irked that a DHS program to deal with political violence has been dumped by Team Trump. It was created during his first term. I am not making this up.
I guess Cosplay Kristi and her MAGA boy toy Corey Lewandowski don’t want to hurt their extremist allies’ feelings. Elmer Stewart Rhodes is a sensitive lad for a convicted insurrectionist whose 18 year sentence was commuted by you know who.
I’m irked that Florida has become a home for wayward MAGA maggots. Remember that corrupt creep Madison Cawthorn? He self-served one term in Congress from North Carolina before losing in 2022. He’s running for Byron Donalds’ Florida house seat since the “I found Jesus in a Cracker Barrel parking lot” guy is running for Governor.
One of Cawthorn’s primary opponents is pardoned felon Chris Collins, former House member from New York. The MAGA corruption, it burns.
Finally, I’m irked that the Clownfish DBA Jeff Landry felt the need to ask President Pennywise’s permission to deploy the Louisiana National Guard in, well, Louisiana.
Louisiana Gov. Jeff Landry: "Tonight, we're sending the Department of War a request to send the National Guard, asking them to deploy the National Guard here in Louisiana into our cities like New Orleans and Baton Rogue and others."
What a fucking suck up. He doesn’t need the MAGA cult leader’s permission. This move undermines Landry’s crime fighting program, which deployed state troopers to New Orleans. Those guys at least are trained to fight crime; the National Guard is not.
Repeat after me: It’s NOT about crime, it’s about intimidation.
Let’s close on a seasonal note. The last word goes to James Taylor:
