Longtime readers know that I rarely take shots at other Democrats. I know who the real enemy is. Senator Hoodie, however, has one foot inside the Democratic tent and one playing footsie with MAGA. And that is why John Fetterman is malaka of the week.
Fetterman has always positioned himself as an unconventional outsider. He used to be a left-wing outsider BUT he’s moved to the right since being elected to the senate in 2022. He won that election against Dr. Mehmet Oz because, in addition to being a quack, Oz is a carpetbagger from New Jersey. Fetterman, however, has been no wizard since joining the senate. He’s combined the worst traits of the Scarecrow, Tin Man, and Cowardly Lion. And Toto too.
Wrong Toto. Right song.
Senator Hoodie used to be an ally of Bernie Sanders who supported his statewide races in Pennsylvania beginning in 2016. Sanders and Fetterman are only on shouting terms today as the Pennsylvanian horseshoes his way to the right. That’s horseshoe as in this diagram:
I first wrote about horseshoe people right after the 2024 election. It was a highly personal post in which I lamented the loss of a once leftist friend to MAGA. Senator Hoodie was not on my radar screen yet but he had already begun his move from left to right.
In addition to being a horseshoe malaka, Fetterman has a long track record as an indifferent public servant. He was a slacker mayor of Braddock, PA then the slacker Lt. Gov of Pennsylvania before becoming a slacker United States Senator. He’s notorious for blowing off constituents and being one of the worst drivers on the planet.
Are Fetterman’s changes down to his 2022 stroke? Maybe so but he’s always been one of those pols more interested in running for office than in doing the job. He’s currently a senator elected by Democrats who increasingly sounds like a MAGA Republican. One thing hasn’t changed: He still dresses like a slacker. Give the man a horseshoe.
Senator Hoodie is the best argument I can think of against outsider candidates. The first time I heard about Graham Platner, I saw him as the next Fetterman, an oddball outsider whose campaign was likely to implode. At least Fetterman isn’t a perv with a SS tattoo. Platner is finished but Fetterman is a senator until 2028.
The featured image is from the GOP’s fakakta mid-term convention. Senator Hoodie appeared by video and looked like a slacker Big Brother looming over the arena. He spoke briefly; here are the lowlights:
“I’m always going to stand with America,” Fetterman said. “I’m always going to reject the extremes and socialism and that anti-American way of life.”
Standing in front of a steel mill, Fetterman said he “will work with President Trump to fight and defend the steel way of life.”
Is Fetterman about to horseshoe his way into the Republican caucus? He says no as he still votes with Democrats the majority of the time. He does not, however, need to switch parties to throw a monkey wrench into a future Democratic majority. It could be a throwback to the Biden administration where Joe Manchin and the Sinematic Senator made life miserable for Democrats. Give the man a horseshoe.
I’ve come to think of John Fetterman as a cautionary tale of what happens when a leftist outsider is elected to high office. Make that worst case scenario: You don’t have to be elected to horseshoe over to MAGA; Tulsi Gabbard pioneered the Berner to Trumper shtick. It did not go well for her but her fellow horseshoe person Bobby Junior is still fucking up our health care system with his crackpot ideas. Give the man a horseshoe.
By all accounts, Pennsylvania voters are sick of Senator Hoodie’s malakatude. His chances of renomination diminish every time he goes on Fox and gives Bibi Netanyahu a tongue bath. And that is why John Fetterman is malaka of the week.
Repeat after me: Give the man a horseshoe.
The last word goes to the Brian Setzer Orchestra:
