We won’t go until we get some:
I’ve spent the past week getting ready for the War on Christmas.
Nativity scene?
Check.
Numerous CDs of the loudest, most annoying carols ever recorded?
Check.
Garlands, trimmings, cards and candles?
Check.
Figgy pudding?
Check and (burp) check.
I am ready to do battle with the secular forces of evil determined to destroy my holiday. Armed with nothing but a DVD of “The Muppet’s Christmas Carol” and an inflatable plastic snowman, I will beat back the horde of invading bah-humbuggers and save the Navidad.
I’ve even been rehearsing my battle cry, courtesy of the Chipmunks Christmas song:
ALVIN!!!
I’ll be here all week. Try the veal.
A.