I’ve spent the past week getting ready for the War on Christmas.
Numerous CDs of the loudest, most annoying carols ever recorded?
Garlands, trimmings, cards and candles?
Check and (burp) check.
I am ready to do battle with the secular forces of evil determined to destroy my holiday. Armed with nothing but a DVD of “The Muppet’s Christmas Carol” and an inflatable plastic snowman, I will beat back the horde of invading bah-humbuggers and save the Navidad.
I’ve even been rehearsing my battle cry, courtesy of the Chipmunks Christmas song:
I’ll be here all week. Try the veal.