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Buy Some Hens!

They sound great:

Not as filthy as most poultry. They are very noisy. If your neighbor
has a barking dog or annoying offspring, these would be fine revenge.
If you just find it amusing to see brainless alien freaks that look
like old-style football helmets running around on tiny orange legs,
they will fit the bill.

Buy my surplus ill-natured Guineas. They are too scrawny for
Thanksgiving. The do not have laser beams strapped to their heads.

If I had a yard, I’d totally be all over this. I’m sure we could get over the lack of laser beams.

A.

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