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We Speak English

What do you want, a trophy?

“Why do our politicians make us give driver’s license exams in 12
languages?” James asks in the ad. “This is Alabama. We speak English.
If you want to live here, learn it. We’re only giving that test in
English if I’m governor.”

All this is, and I mean ALL this nonsense is, is scrambling to find a way to reward lazy assholes by making them feel like they’ve got something over on everybody else. These people need some goddamn therapy. Or some significant accomplishments in life.

You do not PWN by speaking the language you grew up speaking, were taught in school every day, listened to all around you and saw on TV. It’s not an achievement anyone should be trumpeting. You speak English? GOOD FOR YOU, here’s your prize from the Cracker Jack box, can we all get back to work now? Because people who come here who need to get licensed to safely drive to, you know, THEIR ESL CLASSES SO THEY CAN LEARN ENGLISH have stuff to do today.

Their stuff involves learning a whole other language in order to live somewhere else, while over their shoulders whiny dickheads are congratulating themselves for speaking their own native language. Like they just beat the final boss in a video game or something. Jesus, get a hobby.

A.

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