We Speak English

What do you want, a trophy?

“Why do our politicians make us give driver’s license exams in 12
languages?” James asks in the ad. “This is Alabama. We speak English.
If you want to live here, learn it. We’re only giving that test in
English if I’m governor.”

All this is, and I mean ALL this nonsense is, is scrambling to find a way to reward lazy assholes by making them feel like they’ve got something over on everybody else. These people need some goddamn therapy. Or some significant accomplishments in life.

You do not PWN by speaking the language you grew up speaking, were taught in school every day, listened to all around you and saw on TV. It’s not an achievement anyone should be trumpeting. You speak English? GOOD FOR YOU, here’s your prize from the Cracker Jack box, can we all get back to work now? Because people who come here who need to get licensed to safely drive to, you know, THEIR ESL CLASSES SO THEY CAN LEARN ENGLISH have stuff to do today.

Their stuff involves learning a whole other language in order to live somewhere else, while over their shoulders whiny dickheads are congratulating themselves for speaking their own native language. Like they just beat the final boss in a video game or something. Jesus, get a hobby.


9 thoughts on “We Speak English

  1. Also, isn’t it interesting that much of the anti-immigrant hate comes from alleged “values” voters, and how much it overlaps with the Bible Belt?
    Even more interesting, their attitude not only cannot be reconciled with but isdirectly contradicted by the Bible over and over. The same people who will grab a single line about homosexuality being an abomination (right next to a line about shellfish being an abomination) as confirmation of God’s judgment against gays somehow manage to ignore the exhortations to welcome strangers and show them kindness. And the latter positivelysaturate the scriptures.
    Not that I even bother expecting any kind of rational thought from the teabaggers at this point.

  2. Well for one thing, we’re not talking citizenship (which one attempts to gain after multiple years here). We’re talking a drivers license (something a person here needs within a few minutes after stepping foot on our soil).
    So had you rather the driver next to you knows the basic rules of the road and has a license and insurance or had you rather encourage them to drive without a license?

  3. can you say threatened? they are worried english will diasappear and too stupid to press 1 for english.
    oh how they fear their coming minority status.

  4. Met a guy in Namibia who spoke five languages: English, German, Afrikaans, and two tribal languages.
    Not impressed yet? OK, let me add this: this guy grew up in a township when Namibia was still a colony of South Africa called Southwest Africa. He grew up intin shack under apartheid and still learned to speak five languages fluently. That’s badass.

  5. And they’re usually the ones who speak colloquial American and couldn’t spell their way out of a wet paper Bible.

  6. ‘Alabama’ means ‘herb gatherers’ or ‘clearers of the thicket’ in Muskogean, a Native American language of the Southeast. Last I checked Muskogean wasn’t English so this crackerass cracker can fuck off.

  7. Well said, and as the Tea Baggers’ misspelled signs attest, these assholes don’t speak their own native language all that well, either.

  8. You all forget that a lot of people in Alabama are bilingual – mother tongue is redneck, they learn English in schools.

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