I originally planned to write about DOJ malevolence for Monday, then the ballroom blitz happened. Team MAGA was so busy with their preposterous ballroom spin that they failed to sufficiently praise the Secret Service for thwarting the attack. It’s what happens when you’re consumed with rage and thoughts of retribution or, if you’re Todd Blanche, blind ambition.

Blanche is determined to remove the word acting from his current title. He knows the way to realize his ambition is to pander to his audience of one, Donald Trump. That’s the only explanation for indicting James Comey for this:

In a contemporaneous post, I called this attack on Comey a shell game. If 86 47 is a death threat, I’m wearing a red MAGA cap as I write this; I never wear a hat indoors. I am, however, willing to hang my hat on this statement: The case is an attack on free speech, pure and simple.

For the uninformed, 86 is restaurant slang used to remove an item from the menu or an obnoxious customer from a bar. The only thing that gets killed with an 86 is an entree.

Speaking of uninformed, the Insult Comedian claims that 86 is mob slang for murder. The MAGA malakatude, it burns.

Let’s consult with Green Day on the 86 issue:

The Comey indictment has no legal basis. It’s all about Todd Blanche going where even Pam Bondi refused to go. Comey’s earlier indictment was dismissed on procedural grounds but lurking in the background was a vindictive prosecution argument. What’s more vindictive than indicting someone for posting pictures of seashells at the seashore? It evokes the venerable tongue twister: Sally sells seashells by the seashore. Where is Sally in all this? Laying down on the job?

The juxtaposition of the numbers 86 and 47 makes me wonder what would happen if an NFL player wearing number 86 tackled or blocked a player wearing number 47. Would Todd Blanche treat that as a threat on President Pennywise’s life? That’s how ridiculous the seashell indictment is. I stole the football player thing from Lawrence O’Donnell. I only steal from the best.

The latest Comey indictment made me laugh but it also made my head spin:

Ouch. The unseen shooter is, of course, Elmer Fudd who the Kaiser of Chaos increasingly resembles. Trump and his acting AG also merit Daffy’s classic attack line:

The Despicable Mr. Blanche has been a busy boy. He announced the equally specious indictment of the Southern Poverty Law Center last week. It’s a confusing mess but as far as I can tell, the SPLC is accused of paying informants to keep the group relevant. That’s so ridiculous that only a MAGA maggot would think of it.

Repeat after me: Revenge is stupid.

My head is still spinning, so I’ll direct you to pieces about the SPLC farce by Joyce Vance and Andrew Weissmann.

Why does Todd Blanche desperately want to be Attorney General? All he’ll have is the title without the power. The real attorney general is the creep whose social media handle is the Real Donald Trump.

The MAGA DOJ is run out of the White House. Trump even appears to be helping to write the pleadings in the case involving his fakakta ballroom:

Remember when Republicans used to bang on about frivolous lawsuits? Ain’t nothing more frivolous than a Trump lawsuit.

The latest wave of retributive malakatude is a sign of weakness, not strength. The Insult Comedian’s power is waning and he seems to have lost his touch with the MAGA base. Nothing is working for them, so they’ll continue to lash out against their enemies with specious litigation and ridiculous indictments like the ones targeting Comey and the SPLC. The cases will be dismissed and the Kaiser of Chaos will blame his criminal defense lawyer DBA Acting Attorney General Todd Blanche. The MAGA stupid loop will continue until there’s a sane president.

Repeat after me: You say retribution; I say revenge. Let’s call the whole stupid thing off.

The last word goes to Abbey Lincoln: