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Debate Crack Van

Be here tonight for all the fun, becauseOMG UNLESS OBAMA CURES CANCER LIVE ON STAGE WE’RE DOOMED:

Although Obama’s ability to show some fight — or, at the very least, not look like he wants to get off the stage as quickly as possible — will be the dominant story line of Tuesday night, there are a few other interesting narrative strands to keep an eye on. We’ve plucked out three of those most interesting below.

Ah. That will be the dominant story line. Because … Because it just will. The Washington Post has no ability to decide what will and will not be the dominant story line, but here’s some other crap you should probably pay attention to.

Those “narrative strands” do not include whether either candidate will be truthful in any way, or will just cheerily make shit up as they go along. They’re all stuff like this:

To make up the ground he needs to in critical swing states such as Ohio, Ohio (and, yes, we know we mentioned Ohio twice — it’s that important), Virginia and Colorado, Romney probably needs another win in Tuesday’s debate — if not one as lopsided as he scored in Denver. Knowing that, and with Obama almost certain not to lie down as he did in the first debate, can Romney still shine?

I don’t know. I think it will depend on the brand of polish he uses that morning.

There is absolutely no content in this story. There are no facts whatsoever. It’s all fashion coverage, and hey, don’t get me wrong, I love me some fashion coverage, but somehow this got into the politics section as some kind of debate preview. Someone needs to rectify that mistake.

A.

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