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Oh, NOW You Want a Big Tent

If only you had some kind of power position in the party, or were once its standard-bearer, or something:

Sen. John McCain (R-AZ) said that the Republican Party, which lost minority, women and young voters in 2012, needs to have a “bigger tent” during an appearance on “Fox News Sunday.”

“I think we have to have a bigger tent,” McCain said. “And obviously, we have to do immigration reform. There’s no doubt whatsoever that the demographics are not on our side.”

Watching these people flail about is really amazing. It’s like they just woke up JUST THIS MORNING and oh holy shit, brown people everywhere. Chicks. With their chick bits, which need attention. WHERE DID ALL THIS COME FROM? If only there had been some sign, in the past 40 years, that singing Dixie under your breath wasn’t gonna work forever. If only someone had warned them.

Also I love how they’re flat-out stating that it’s not that dealing honestly with minorities and women is the right thing to do, or that minorities and women have legitimate needs of any kind. It’s that “the demographics are not on our side.” In other words, we can’t win with just the old white racists anymore so NOW it’s a crisis and I guess we HAVE to listen to them, god, the indignity, but what are you going to do? They keep existing and breathing oxygen. Inconvenient.

“And as far as young women are concerned, absolutely, I don’t think anybody like me — I can state my position on abortion. But to — other than that, leave the issue alone,” McCain said.

“I’m proud of my pro-life position and record,” McCain said, clarifying that he did not mean he was now pro-choice. “But if someone disagrees with me, I respect your views.”

Do you respect his or her views enough to allow him or her equal rights under the law? If not, NO YOU DON’T RESPECT MY VIEWS, you colossally panderiffic assclown.

In other words I love women but I MEAN I DON’T OH GOD PLEASE DON’T PRIMARY ME TEA PARTIERS. So much for the courage to call for a bigger tent.

Schmuck.

A.

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